Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

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Robert Downey, Jr. is Harry Lockhart--a burglar who isn't very good at his job, and he accidentally stumbles into a new one when he interrupts an audition while trying to hide out from the cops. Suddenly thrust into the spotlight as a potentially famous actor, he meets a girl at a party who turns out to be high high school crush Harmony (Michelle Monaghan), meets a private investigator named Gay Perry (Val Kilmer), and becomes entangled with a nasty agent (Corbin Bernsen) while trying to help Harmony find out who killed her roommate.

Potty mouth.

Harry finds out who Harmony's roommate really is, loses a finger, has his testicles electrocuted, and makes a new friend in Perry, who thinks Harry is an idiot. Hollywood can be weird sometimes.

That message is "listen to our podcast."

Jake recommended this movie, and he loves it. It has been a favorite since he worked at a video store in Alabama! He recommended it to anyone who would listen back then, and many of them came to resent him for it. He regrets nothing, and he is right.

Derek was seeing this for the first time and was pleasantly surprised. Robert Downey, Jr. was nailing it, and Val Kilmer was great because he looked like he was genuinely enjoying himself. The whole thing feels like the Coen brothers made a Lethal Weapon movie with Guy Ritchie!

So grab your tiny gun and your severed finger, and tune in to this week's episode!

Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat

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Finishing out the Bruce Campbell run, Derek and Jake sat down to watch Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat, which features a bunch of great character actors--including M. Emmett Walsh, David Carradine, and an actress whose name they can't remember, so they call her "Hottie Blue Eyes". Clearly, they came to play.

And be subtle as they do it!

Bruce Campbell is Van Helsing, who travels to the middle-of-the-desert town of Purgatory to hunt down a vampire known as...uh..."Megatron" (Carradine)? We can't remember. But he's a vampire, just like everyone else in town. The big difference being, they have all sworn off killing humans to feed themselves, choosing instead to manufacture and drink synthetic blood. A larger group of locals want to go back to the old ways, so they want to fight the others and take control of the town.

"Margaret"? "Margarine"?

There are also a bunch of other characters that really serve no purpose other than to be fodder for the vampires to kill. There's also a family that comes to town, but it's unclear who the viewer is supposed to be rooting for. The whole thing is a mess.

ZZ Top is not impressed.

Jake did not like this movie at all. The acting is terrible, the story is non-existent, and the score sounds like it was ripped-off from Blazing Saddles. He was not impressed, and he is not wrong.

Derek liked it a little better, but only as a vehicle for making jokes. He agrees that the movie was awful, but it provided entertainment value in other ways. Still...woof, it was bad.

So drink some fake blood, try not to murder and tune in to this week's episode!