Trilogy of Terror

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Welcome to week three of the Here Be Spoilers Horror Anthology Month!

Back in 1975, ABC originally aired what is still considered to be the scariest made-for-television movie ever, Trilogy of Terror, starring Karen Black, Karen Black, Karen Black, Karen Black, and a few other people who are not Karen Black.

Now, forty-two years later, Derek and Larry sat down to watch it, which we assume is why it was made in the first place.

The first segment, "Julie", also features Robert Burton as Chad, a super-rapey guy who, when he decides that all of the girls on campus are "dogs", takes an interest in his literature teach, Julie Eldrich, and immediately starts ogling her in the creepiest way possible.

What can I say? Shapeless, conservative dresses get me hot!

Chad finally manages to man-up and just ask Julie out to the drive-in, and after a really weak rebuff, she finally agrees.

That night, at the drive-in, Chad slips Julie a roofie, takes her to a motel, and shoots several questionable photos of her. Then he drops her off at home and leaves, but not before leering at her a whole bunch, making both Julie and the viewer super uncomfortable.

The next morning, Chad takes Julie for a drive and reveals the photos he took to her, telling her that she is now his to do as he wishes, or he will turn the photos over to the authorities. (This seems like a pretty empty threat, largely because Chad, a student, appears to be pretty close to the same age as Julie...At worst, she might lose her job.)

Chad continues to blackmail Julie, even sharing her with his friends--pretty racy for a made-for-television movie--for a whole month. Julie's roommate, Tracy (Tracy Curtis), who up until then appeared to take very little notice in Julie's continued late-night returns, is suddenly worried, and says so. Julie assures her that everything is just fine.

Sometime later, Julie is at Chad's house, acting as some sort of combination maid/sex slave, when she decides she's had enough. As she serves him a drink, she tells him that this whole situation was arranged by her, not him, but she finds him terribly boring now and wants out. Permanently...

Good thing Chad never saw this sweet piece of ass!

In the second segment, "Millicent and Therese", Black is Millicent, a decidedly quiet and conservative woman who lives with Therese (also Black), who is absolutely none of those things. Millicent is certain that Therese is evil, and even goes so far as to warn Therese's current boyfriend about the books on witchcraft and voodoo that line her bookshelves. The boyfriend, duly creeped-out, leaves and never comes back, allowing Millicent to go back to writing terrible things about Therese in her diary.

A short time later, Millicent calls Dr. Chester Ramsey (George Gaines) and tells him about all the horrible things Therese is doing, including trashing Millicent's room, and that he has to do something about her. Dr. Ramsey promises to come by and talk to Therese the next day.

True to his word, Dr. Ramsey shows up and talks with Therese, who is not especially pleased to see him. She accuses Millicent of doing all the things she says Therese did, and then, when Dr. Ramsey does not appear to believe her, throws him out of the house, telling him never to come back.

Chad would not be interested in Therese, who appears to be a Hooters server.

Going on a rampage, Therese starts screaming at Millicent through her bedroom door, threatening to get her. Millicent decides that it's time to take action and, once she is certain Therese is not around, takes one of the books on voodoo and looks up the recipe(?) for making a voodoo doll. After gathering the necessary components, she sets to work creating a likeness of Therese and taking up a very large pin to stick in it...

Karen Black really transformed herself for this last segment.

In "Amelia", Karen Black IS Amelia, a woman spending the evening at home, talking to her disturbingly clingy mother on the phone, cooking a steak in the most disconcerting way possible, and sorting out a gift for her boyfriend, whom the viewer never gets to meet.

Her mother, upon learning about the boyfriend, starts laying the guilt on pretty thick, but Amelia tries to blow it off while she opens the case to look at the gift: a Zuni doll that supposedly contains the soul of a dead Zuni warrior within. She reads the scroll that came with it, which says that the gold chain around its waist has to stay on, or the soul will get out and cause all kinds of trouble. Naturally, when she sets it down to hang up the phone and take a bath, the chain falls off. Were you expecting less?

What follows is the most slapsticky series of events that involve this tiny wooden doll stealing a knife and terrorizing Amelia.throughout her entire apartment. First, it tries to stab her under a door. Then she tries to drown it. Then it tries to stab her under a different door. Next, she traps it in a suitcase and, when it tries to cut its way out, tries to take the knife away, cutting her finger in the process.

When the Zuni doll finally quiets down, she opens the suitcase and, of course, the doll jumps out and bites her on the neck. While trying to get it off of her, she runs into the kitchen, grabs it off her back, and throws it into the oven, ruining the steak she was (for some reason) baking. The doll catches fire and is destroyed!

Amelia, bloodied, but still in good spirits, calls her mother back and apologizes, telling her that she would like to see her, and she invites her mom over...

...for dinner...?

What happens to Chad? Will Julie hook another fish with her wiley frumpiness? Will Millicent get her revenge on Therese? Will Amelia's mother notice her daughter's newfound interest in pointy things? You'll have to tune in to find out!

Derek remembers watching this when he was a kid, but only vaguely. Mostly, he remembers the Zuni doll and how goofy it seemed. He's also impressed with the range that Karen Black shows in this film, and is amazed at how goddamn hard it was to find a copy of it. Also, Chad is a creep.

Larry is new to this one, and he was surprisingly pleased with it. He also loved the Zuni doll, as well as Karen Black's ability to play four different people so well. His one complaint is the super-creepy Chad, who, it turns out, was Karen Black's husband. He's still a creeper, though.

So find a sharp knife, ready your voodoo doll, and check out this week's episode!