Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Oh! Hello...I didn't see you there. Glad to see you came by to see if I posted some of the funny Twitter people I ran across last week, because I did. What are the odds?

No, you totally did.

So what say we get right to 'em, shall we? In no particular order...

Whereas life once seemed so full of wonder, I now have a favorite brand of kitchen sponge and a second favorite brand of kitchen sponge

— Yngwie Momjeans (@afbradstone) March 11, 2015

I didn't choose the thug life. I chose the vegan lasagna. Let me speak to your manager.

— Drhappyknuckles (@drhappyknuckles) March 29, 2015

If I had a third arm, I'd constantly be giving people 2 thumbs up, leaving them wondering what they have to do for the third.

— Chris J. Randolph (@Spectre_7) May 11, 2015

Just watched the first episode of Battlestar Galactica (1978) My review: Rick Springfield blew up ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

— o r a l (@FuckTyping) May 12, 2015

when ur ex is like "ur spendin a lotta time with those wombats, huh" & ur like "cuz those wombats let me be me, Gary" pic.twitter.com/NvFqFdV5xY

— Jamie (from before) (@Jamie1947) May 13, 2015

Indiana Jones's hand hovers over a dazzling array of jewelled chalices before he takes what is surely the true Grail, a simple Dilbert mug

— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) May 6, 2015

dog: i saw u out there me: what? dog: i saw u pet the neighbor dog me: i was just– dog: did u rub his belly? DID U ASK IF HE WAS A GOOD BOY?

— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) January 30, 2015

You ever tried talking to people? I know. Right? What's their problem?

— Dumb as I look (@not1ofyourfans) May 15, 2015

"If anyone knows a reason why these two should not marry, speak n-" SHE THOUGHT GANDALF & DUMBLEDORE WERE THE SAME PERSON *priest vomits*

— ㅤㅤㅤ (@matt___nelson) December 21, 2014

I got my hands on a copy of the Mad Max script. This movie seems intense pic.twitter.com/p0MDpDW4bP

— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) May 15, 2015

And there you have it! If you dig the stuff I posted, maybe go on over there and follow them...And if you didn't...

And it's wrong. So wrong.

...but if you still feel that way, go over there anyway, and find your own funny people, why don't you?

Anyway, have an awesome week. And to start it off, here's a little clip from the fine folks over at Wits, a podcast I highly recommend, featuring Neil Gaiman and My Brightest Diamond:

All the best,
Derek and Bosco