Of course, the big story this week is another mass shooting. This one was at a community college in Oregon. And, of course, before the scene was even cleared, the politicians started politicizing it, showing all of America just what horrible turds they are. Instead of sitting here, pontificating about it, I'm just going to throw this tweets from @LostCatDog up here, and then I'm going to move on.
Idea: an app that sends a photo of someone killed in a school shooting to every member of Congress, daily, forever
— Aghast Dad™ (@LostCatDog) October 2, 2015
On a somewhat different note, hateful homophobe Kim Davis has managed to attach herself, remora-like, to the Pope's visit, having got a chance to meet him. Her lawyers said that it was a secret meeting, and he expressed his support of her "plight". Of course, it turned out to be utter bullshit, according to the Vatican, which issued a statement saying that she was part of a large group that met with Pope Francis very briefly at the behest of one of his friends. He knew nothing about this lunatic, and made it clear that he does not support her in any way. Clearly, it was such a secret meeting that even the Pope himself wasn't aware of it.
As I don't have a photo available of their meeting, I went on the hunt to find something just as suitable, and came across this.
If any of you know who created this work of genius, please let me know so I can give proper credit! |
Twitter responded as expected, as did the few people on Facebook who aren't busy posting Minion memes, and pointed out that this app is basically a way for people to bully and harass you online, without your permission. The app's creators not only responded very poorly to these reactions, but they went so far as to delete any negative comments on their Facebook and Twitter pages. The irony was even more ironic that an Alanis Morrisette song about irony that doesn't even know what irony is!
That awkward moment. #Peeple pic.twitter.com/j0rh5UW1M6
— Black-passing Asian (@dtwps) October 1, 2015
Myself, I remained cheerfully oblivious most of the week, choosing instead to make amazing discoveries that everyone else probably already knew about.
Thanks to Facebook's name pronunciation feature, my name is now pronounced "Thundergasm Angrypants". Please update your records accordingly.
— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) October 2, 2015
This shows up in the stats for my podcast every single week. Fess up: Which one of you is this? pic.twitter.com/Gwvz9QvSa8
— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) October 3, 2015
Being unaware of my surroundings is fun sometimes.
Anyway, it was a good week on Twitter, and the folks were en fuego with the funny! So let's go have a look at it, shall we? And when you're done, click the link and join us for some wacky hilarity!
[coney island]
Sir, you just won the hotdog eating competition! How's it feel?
Me: *coughing up a full hotdog* I was in a what now?
— EatTheLich (@Puercotron) September 19, 2015
Why does every fucking pop song sound like a guy humming through his nose up a robot's anus? And yes, I am an elderly man
— Rich Lowtax Kyanka (@lowtax) September 28, 2015
The Pope's pretty cool, but he still wouldn't sign my tits.
— bougie beth (@bourgeoisalien) September 27, 2015
Welp, just got distracted and missed my own orgasm. That's ADD in a nutshell, folks!
— AlexaMac Brandes (@TheWoodenslurpy) September 29, 2015
Tried a selfie with a filter. I can see where it makes me look better. pic.twitter.com/tbWoXn9sVu
— Zippy the WonderSlug (@19Bob61) September 1, 2015
I will say I am partial to products endorsed by Bigfoots, Yetis, Sasquatch, etc. Wouldn't buy tires from a Mothman
— Rusty Shackles (@rusty_shackles) October 1, 2015
Anxiety the Board Game Rules
1) You're playing it wrong
2) You'll never win
3) Seriously, you suck at this game
4) Nobody likes you
— Devil Antagonist (@AnOrangeSNES) September 29, 2015
I was just in the shower and I had to punch myself in the face to get out of an endless lather/rinse/repeat loop.
— Cousin Banjo (@cousinbanjo) October 3, 2015
What goes on inside an oven during the self-cleaning cycle can only be described as devil magic.
— MJ (@sucittaM) September 30, 2015
YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME @GodzillaSays! TOO FAR! pic.twitter.com/zEo1bQLQwL
— Elliott Serrano (@ElliottSerrano) October 3, 2015
And there you have it! Here's to a better week this week, filled with pumpkin-spiced stuff and, if all goes well, a shiny new podcast from Larry, Jake, and myself to kick of our Month of the Living Dead! Until then, have a look at this bit of zombie entertainment from Jonathan Coulton:
Derek and Bosco
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