Oh, sure, it would be easy to have missed that, what with the other drama. But even that was overshadowed by the ongoing rush of horribleness coming from--you guessed it--Donald Trump! But to balance that out, I've found a few funny Hillary Clinton GIFs to show her kooky side, such as this one:
You...you got a little something on...here, wait... |
Anyway, yeah, there was the DNC. And it was infinitely more upbeat than the doom and gloom of the RNC the week before. And almost all the speeches were met with enthusiasm. Even Bernie Sanders, whose supporters are still angry about him not getting the nomination, gave a strong speech in support of Clinton, although I have to admit that it looked like he would, at any moment, admonish the conventioneers to get the hell off of his lawn.
Michelle Obama gave the kind of speech that makes you understand why Trump's wife would plagiarize her. And when it came time for Hillary's family to get up and sound off, they gave exactly the kind of speeches you would expect. (Daughter Chelsea was a definite chip off the old block!)
Then came the Khan family. Khizr and Ghazala Khan are the parents of US Army Capt. Humayun Khan, who was killed in 2004 while fighting in Iraq. Khizr spoke at the convention, with his wife by his side, and told their story. Then Mr. Khan pointed out that, while he had sacrificed his son for this country, Trump had sacrificed nothing, and then went on to offer mr. Trump his pocket copy of the constitution. The speech was a huge hit. (Or YUUUUUGE, if you like.)
And that's where Trump comes in...
Never one to let common sense get in the way of him and his mouth, Trump did an interview where he said, "I've sacrificed a lot. I've created a lot of jobs."
[Trump HQ]
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) June 9, 2016
“Anything racist yesterday?”
“No.”
“Sexist?”
“Nope. Do it.”
*updates sign*
-3- DAYS SINCE LAST WORKPLACE ACCIDENT
<applause>
That's right. He is suggesting that, because he had to go and hire people, his sacrifice was at least on par with the Khan family losing their son. What a dickhole.
Jesus...That guy again? |
And then Donald Trump opened his mouth...
Just sittin here, not saying anything. |
Let that sink in.
Donald Trump, the Republican presidential candidate (whether they like it or not), is asking Russian hackers...to help him win the election by screwing her over. That is not only shocking, but also sounds like it might be sorta illegal...? I'm no lawyer, mind you, so I'll leave it up to those guys, and I'm sure a good number of them in the Justice Department are taking an interest in it.
Maybe we should ask Russia to release Trump's tax returns.#Election2016 #DNCinPHL
— donholt99 (@donholt99) July 27, 2016
Oh, and Trump also announced he wasn't going to release his tax returns. Big shock. Also the first one to do that. This is not the sort of thing one gets a cookie for.
Whaddaya mean, "no cookies"? |
Christ, Arnold Schwarzenegger's going to be busy. 😳 pic.twitter.com/5jIwGHEkBu
— Phlegm Clandango (@Cain_Unable) July 25, 2016
A lady in the streets, but a dinosaur in the sheets. Not because I'm old. Because I make dinosaur noises and pretend to have T-Rex arms.
— Angie Davis (❤️Peen) (@Adar79Angie) July 27, 2016
It's difficult to not be a narcissist when your birthmark is the symbol of a Dragon warrior and your hair flows in the wind indoors
— Jacob Swift (@jacob_swift16) July 27, 2016
You look like the kinda guy that
— Marcmywords (@Marcmywords2) May 16, 2016
wears a cape to Walmart.
[Me narrating a documentary on world domination]
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) June 6, 2015
and this is a picture of a woman's vagina
Awesome sauce comes from amazeballs. It's science.
— Mischievous Mike (@mstern68) June 21, 2016
every walmart bathroom is a crime scene
— Nope Jessie (@jessienope) July 29, 2016
I hate when people think I’m having a grand mal seizure when I’m just being Italian...talking fluently with my hands.
— Nicole Renée (@SeaGlass4Nicole) July 27, 2016
Guy: I need a dude with a mullet & Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt who sells meth out of his trailer
— antisocialsocialist (@gobmentcheese) July 28, 2016
Me: Sir, this the South; can you be more specific?
I'll tell you what's NOT going to turn this hot tub into a time machine: your negative attitude.
— Ray (@SirEviscerate) July 29, 2016
And now, as promised, here's ten tweets about the DNC, in order (because it just seems the reasonable way to do it, is all):
"And I would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!" -Debbie Wasserman Schultz' resignation letter
— Adam Cozens (@Adam_Cozens) July 24, 2016
I hear you, Sanders supporters who plan to vote Trump. One time I asked for Coke but they only had Pepsi, so I set fire to my head.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) July 25, 2016
How can we unify the country when we can't even unite Simon and Garfunkle? #DemsInPhilly
— Brandon Cloud (@theclobra) July 26, 2016
Very disappointed that two speakers from Massachusetts have gone on at the DNC without asking anyone how they like any apples.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) July 26, 2016
DNC '16: Love Trumps Hate
— TomR2D2 (@TomR2D2) July 26, 2016
RNC '16: Trump Loves Hate
"I see Duck Dynasty's bandana, and I raise you...and an entire shirt." - Meryl Streep
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) July 27, 2016
Tim Kaine is your friend's dad who is perfectly nice & super helpful, but if you ask him "How's it going, Mr. Kaine?" you better settle in.
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) July 28, 2016
Nice job by the President. Although last night would have been a fun time to go, 'And, I really was born in Kenya...' #DNCinPHL
— Paul Lander (@paul_lander) July 28, 2016
Joe Biden does what Zoloft claims to do.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) July 28, 2016
When the debates are next: #DemsInPhilly pic.twitter.com/AgVh4n2Yyn
— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) July 29, 2016
And there you have it! Now get out there and have an awesome week. Myself, I'm gonna go play some music really loud tomorrow, so I have that going for me.
Gwet down with your bad self! |
All the best,
Derek and Bosco
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