Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, guys!

I have to be honest; I almost didn't do a list this week because I found out that some of the links from the Ugly Couchcast episodes aren't working, as well as some of the older Here Be Spoilers shows. but I decided, no, Derek...You can't do that to the two or three people who still read these. You have to put that list up and then worry about broken links.

So that's what I've done. And, in the spirit of saving time, as well as to acknowledge straight-up laziness on my part, I'll be reusing more of the GIFs I've collected here, such as this one:

Remember, kids: Always take your Bat-Shark Repellant to the beach!

Anyway, I spent last week mostly ignoring politics. However, I highly recommend looking at the Trumpgrets Tumblr page. It's a wonder to behold as people post their surprise that they are going to get screwed like the rest of us.

A practical demonstration of the next four years. Guess which hand is you.

The rest of the week was spent answering the tough questions...

If you could not have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would you choose? pic.twitter.com/F7qthysHE4

— Jon Friedman (@friedmanjon) November 30, 2016

Dead. I would definitely choose dead. https://t.co/rD38YWILQg

— Derek the Misfit Elf (@TheRealDCF) November 30, 2016

Offering advice...

I never understand what people are doing in their bedroom that they need it to be the size of a football field #HouseHunters

— Anne Davis (@AnnieDNews) December 2, 2016

Playing football, maybe? https://t.co/dpXeuxfqrO

— Derek the Misfit Elf (@TheRealDCF) December 2, 2016

And probably revealing more about myself than the world really wants to know...

Like you've never yodeled to test the acoustics in a public restroom.

— Basically Your Mom (@illiter8too) November 26, 2016

When I yodel, it sounds like Tom Waits having an orgasm. https://t.co/ldshviDOsk

— Derek the Misfit Elf (@TheRealDCF) November 29, 2016

Don't judge.

I don't judge your diet choices.

Then there were tweets. SO MANY TWEETS! And I pared the great ones that I saw to a list of ten that I not only feel are hilarious, but also deserve some love. So, if you dig them, get over there and follow 'em! In no particular order...

If earth only only has 1,000 years left, I wonder where Keith Richards is gonna go

— Bah Humpug (@LuvPug) November 22, 2016

Barista won't write "Air Bud was bullshit" on my coffee cup. We've been arguing for 20 minutes. HE’S A DOG THAT PLAYS BASKETBALL

— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) November 28, 2016

THE SQUIRREL I TRAPPED DAY 30: It took me 3 hours to paint his nails. He doesn't appreciate what I do for him. Also today my wife moved out.

— Olly Domino (@Chumpstring) October 9, 2015

4yo: Mommy, sing me a bedtime song?

Me: Straight outta Compton, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube.

— Ashley (@ashmensch) October 23, 2016

When you put a dot too much hair stuff in your hair and you end up looking like The Dude and Gary Busey's bastard hair child.

— ✨👻KasiaEmerald👻✨ (@KasiaEmerald) November 30, 2016

Sunset. A bottle washes up on shore. There's a message inside. I can't wait to rea-

Nope it's a dick pic.

— Bob Heller (@Bob_Heller) May 19, 2016

Miniature Christmas villages are a joke. Where's the elks lodge? The declining infrastructure of a directionless-railway-dependent town?

— Abby Menorahmal (@MrsTomServo) November 30, 2016

I hate when auto correct changes "I want to stare into the great abyss of all realities and murder the new gods" to "Wanna do butt stuff?".

— Lord Goomba (@ObscureGent) November 30, 2016

I'm like 85% sure I'm actually just a sentient ziplock bag full of cottage cheese and nobody has had the heart to tell me.

— Monald Meagan (@DeadKerchak) December 1, 2016

Sorry I put my finger in your mouth. You wouldn't shut up and I panicked.

— Baked Potato (@TrueTorontoGirl) December 2, 2016

And there you have it! Not a bad haul, if you ask me. Now get out there and have a great week! And if you, like me, are suffering from terrible Christmas music overexposure, here's a personal favorite from Barenaked Ladies.

All the best,
Derek and Bosco