I had a bunch of the usual silly-assed stuff I wanted to talk about, and I'll get to that. But as I was compiling this week's list, I saw that Carrie Fisher, best known as Leia Organa in the Star Wars series of films, passed away at the age of 60. last week, she had a massive heart attack on a flight between London and LAX, and had been in the hospital since then.
Carrie Fisher was a talented actress, a talented writer (she doctored a lot of movie scripts and was never credited for them, and she wrote a number of best selling books), an advocate for mental health, a reformed drug user, and a genuinely funny and engaging person. She was also my first actress crush, even before the metal bikini in Return of the Jedi.
Not gonna lie, you guys; this one hurts a lot. She will be missed.
Another talented performer, singer George Michael passed away on Christmas Day. He was the lead singer of Wham before going solo and releasing a string of hits, including one of my favorite songs ever, "Careless Whispers".
And, until his passing, the public was completely unaware of the kind and generous man he was, quietly donating money and time to those in need, and then completely failing to mention it to the press or anybody else because he did not want the attention from it. He was a classy dude like that, and he, too, will be missed.
2016 can just eat a Jumbo-Sized, Economy Bag of Dicks. This year has straight-up sucked for people my age, and I'm tired of it. If you're famous and awesome, keep an eye on yourself, okay? I don't need this kind of shit through next year, too.
Now, to other stuff...
On the other end of things, Rolling Stones guitarist and living Easter Island monument Keith Richards celebrated something like his eighth century, and shows no sign of stopping.
The 2nd-youngest Rolling Stone is 73 today. 🎸
— Justice Don Willett (@JusticeWillett) December 18, 2016
Ask 2017 approaches, we must ask: What sort of world are we leaving for Keith Richards? pic.twitter.com/TRMxalvxQZ
Everybody keep an eye on Mick, Ron, Charlie, and the rest of them, will ya? Anyway, in celebration of Keith's 937th birthday, he is the subject of this week's .GIFs.
Yes, you. |
But before I could see the movie, I had to buy tickets, and so I trekked over to my dad's to buy them online. It was...an experience. Not because getting the tickets was difficult, though.
"And then they send me a PDF of my ticket for me to print out, dad."
— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) December 20, 2016
Dad: pic.twitter.com/TLC0iAsgKb
For my dad's part, he finally got his VCR to quit blinking "12:00". About two weeks ago.
Yeah, it's a corny joke, but Keith thought it was funny. |
The Electoral College just confirmed Clooney as the best Batman
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) December 20, 2016
But at least they didn't vote for Val Kilmer. That guy...
Keith demonstrates what "voting your conscience" involves. |
It's okay, Keith. There will be music elsewhere. |
HOTEL CALIFORNIA DIARY
— Charles (@drhappyknuckles) September 14, 2015
DAY 1,724: Checked out again.
waiter: is pepsi ok
— knthith (@painted_eel) December 18, 2016
me: pic.twitter.com/RSVBM5zFd7
If fishes were wishes then we'd all be screwed because wishes are intangible and fish serve a critical role in the ecosystem
— zach kagan dot wax (@ZAKagan) December 19, 2016
Him: Let's get you out of that dress.
— Candy Cane Shank (@sixfootcandy) December 19, 2016
Me: Be careful
Him: Why?
Me: If you tug at my Spanx hard enough, I'll pop open like a can of biscuits.
Him: Let's get you out of that dress.
— Candy Cane Shank (@sixfootcandy) December 19, 2016
Me: Be careful
Him: Why?
Me: If you tug at my Spanx hard enough, I'll pop open like a can of biscuits.
Alexa, which cat breeds are the most absorbent?
— Jeff Newton (@yonewt) December 19, 2016
This morning I queefed while doing yoga; a much needed good omen during these uncertain times.
— Mariya Alexander (@MariyaAlexander) December 22, 2016
I... think I just became a producer at SyFy pic.twitter.com/5Nt5dUILzu
— Kyn Erso (@kenlowery) December 22, 2016
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000): A loner & his dog reveal the horrors of a rural town that sings when they have no food for their kids
— Gian D'Oh (@GianDoh) December 19, 2016
I consider myself a fairly intelligent person until I'm around actual smart people. Then I'm all 'FREEBIRD. WOO HOO.'
— WittySassBasket™ (@WittySassBasket) December 23, 2016
And there you have it! Now get out there and have an awesome recovery from the holidays, and prepare for New Years Eve. And if you are going out that night, be safe. I don't need to read about more cool people I like dying.
Easy for you to say. You're immortal. And my name isn't Jackie. |
Derek and Bosco
Rock on. |
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