Krush Groove

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After a brief hiatus due to computer issues, the guys are back! And ready to look directly at another movie! This movie, however, had something to offer that Breakin' could not: A better soundtrack.

This week, Derek and Larry sat down to watch the 1985 straight-up classic hip-hop movie, s fictionalized version of the early days of Def Jam Records, Krush Groove, starring Sheila E., Run DMC (and Jam Master Jay), Kurtis Blow, Fat Boys, Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, LL Cool J, New Edition, Beastie Boys, Rick Rubin, and tons more. Oh, and Blair Underwood, because there had to be at least one person who had acted before.

Underwood is Russell Walker, owner of Krush Groove Records, a small record company that is starting to take off, thanks to their biggest act, Run DMC. Run (Joseph Simmons) is Russell's brother.

Siddown, rappers of today, and observe some real talent.

Krush Groove is exploding! Run DMC's new album is a huge hit and the orders are coming in fast, but Russell doesn't have the money to get them printed. His producer, Rick (Rick Rubin), is freaking out a little, but Russell promises that he'll get everything handled.

Meanwhile, the Disco 3 are at school, getting kicked out of class because one of them (Darren "The Human Beat Box" Robinson) keeps interrupting the class. He and his partners, Cool Rock Ski (Damon Wimbley) and Prince Markie D (Mark Morales), take to the hallways so they can musically harass a female classmate that Markie D digs. She looks super young, and it feels a little creepy. Fortunately, she blows him off.

Fortunately, they have an alternate plan to meaningful relationships: Buffet-style pizza!

Additionally, there is some disagreement between the three of them about whether or not to enter a talent contest. While Markie D and Human Beat Box want to do it, Cool Rock Ski is not onboard because he thinks the audience will make fun of them and not listen to their music. But after some further pushing by the other two, he agrees, and they head to the bar, where they are immediately stopped by a bouncer who refuses entry to them because they are under 21. They tell him they only want to perform, not drink, and after a small display of their abilities, he relents and tells them they can get in for a ten dollar cover. Unfortunately, they do not have the money, and they have to leave.

Later, Russell visits his father, Reverend Walker (Daniel Simmons), to borrow some money so the label can get some records printed. It starts out bad when Run and DMC walk into the church with their new song blasting on a boom box, and gets worse when, after refusing to give Russell the money, Reverend Walker tells him that he needs to get his shit together and get a real job.

That night, Run, DMC (Darryl McDaniels) and Jam Master Jay (Jason Mizell) accompany Russell to a club, where they see Sheila E. (as herself) and her band performing. Russell is into it, as is Run, who wants to meet her. Sheila's friend Karen (Karen Moss) encourages Sheila to meet him because he might have connections. And while Sheila agrees, she is far from impressed, pointing out that she does not listen to rap.

Oddly enough, she is a big fan of Prince, but nobody knows why.

The next day, Russell and Rick go to a bank in order to get a loan. Unfortunately, the loan officer, whose oddly-shaped head is incredibly distracting, turns them down, leaving Russell no choice but to go to Jay B. for a loan. The records get printed, and the artists start to chart.

Which brings us to a show where Kurtis Blow is performing. Terri Beiker (Charles Stettler) from Galaxy Records makes an offer to Russell for Run DMC, but Russell turns him down. But when Run DMC shows up and put Sheila onstage before them, they get into an argument and Run storms out, right into a limo where Beiker is waiting.

Kurtis is well-known for his renditions of Big Band songs from the 30s and 40s.

Beiker tells Run about the offer he made to Russell, and how he turned it down, further pissing-off Run, who decides to take Beiker up on his offer.

Later, just as Rick and some of the artists are doing auditions for new acts (in which we get to see a young LL Cool J force his way in to do a bit of his song "I Can't Live Without My Radio"), Run comes in and tells everybody he is moving Run DMC over to Galaxy, and they should come along because they could actually get paid.

Well, most of him. He appears to have left his pecs home.

Apparently, something happened with the girl Markie D was interested in that resulted in him having his pants ripped off. While his friends are berating him, Human Beat Box notices an advertisement in the newspapers Markie is using to cover himself, about a talent contest.

At the talent show, we get to see New Edition and a tiny bit of the Beastie Boys (like, one verse), and then the Disco 3 get up and do their thing.They don't win the contest, but Kurtis tells them that they can be the alternates, in case one of the winning groups can't perform.

At the same time, Russell finds Beiker and tells him that, for $100,000, he can have all the krush Groove acts. When Beiker tells him that he already signed Run DMC, a big fight starts, and then there's lots of yelling, and then Russell runs away and does chin-ups until Kurtis comes to talk to him. Russell tells him to go ahead and go to galaxy because Krush Groove is over.

The Disco 3, upset from losing, decide to comfort themselves with all the food at a Sbarro's. Really. All of it. And then they decide to embrace who they are and rename themselves Fat Boys.

Russell tries to push Sheila's new record, but nobody wants it. At one club, he is confronted by a couple of Jay B.'s goons, who crush his junk and tell him he has one day to get his money back.

Will Russell get the money and pay off Jay B., thereby saving his genitals from further abuse? Will Run get Sheila, who is clearly more interested in Russell? Will the Fat Boys stop eating long enough to fill-in at the finals when New Edition cancels? Will the Krush Groove artists ever return to Krush Groove? You'll have to tune in to find out!

Larry remembers the music, but doesn't think he saw the movie before. However, he liked it. He is angered, however, that, while most of the artists featured got to perform an entire song, the Beastie Boys were relegated to a single verse. Still, it was cool to see them perform.

Derek saw the movie years ago, but definitely remembers the soundtrack. He's a bit miffed that some of the best songs in the movie are left off the soundtrack album. But he has all of them anyway, so it's all good. He's also bummed they didn't get to see the Beasties do their whole song. Otherwise, he digs it.

So dust off those Adidas, put on your Members Only jacket, and check out this week's episode!