A Christmas Carol (1984)

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Merry Christmas!

And now, it's time for the final episode in our Holiday Moviepalooza: A Big Bag O' Dickens series. And what a way to end it! We delved deep into Jake's repressed holiday memories to bring you the 1984 TV adaption of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, starring, of all people, George C. Scott as Ebenezer Scrooge!

Away, knaves! I can buy and sell you!

We're not going to go through the whole story, because you should know it by now. We all know Scrooge (Scott) is a bitter old fart. We know he treats his clerk, Bob Cratchit (David Warner), like garbage. By now we know he blames his nephew Fred (Roger Rees) for the death of Scrooge's sister, Fan (Joanne Whalley). And we know he get a visit from his dead partner, Jacob Marley (Frank Finlay), who tells him to get his shit straight, or else. And to help, three ghosts are going to show him what a miserable cuss he is.

Marley kills with his Bill the Cat impression.

The Ghost of Christmas Past (Angela Pleasence) takes him to his old boarding school as a reminder that his father pretty much hated him. But she also takes him to his first job, where he also met the love of his life, Belle (Lucy Gutteridge), only to get dumped by her later because he loves money even more. Truly, he sucked as a youngster.

Worst Eurythmics cover band ever.

The Ghost of Christmas Present (Edward Woodward) takes the reigns and shows Scrooge that he is, in fact, still a giant turd of a person, based on how little he pays Cratchit, who has a wife and half a dozen kids to feed, including a crippled son named Tint Tim (Anthony Walters). Despite the way Cratchit is treated, he still insists on toasting his boss at Christmas dinner. Bob's wife (Susannah York) doesn't feel so cheerful about it, but she does it anyway. Next, the Ghost takes him to see how Fred also still cares, despite his uncle's rage and anger at nothing in particular. Scrooge, however remains disinterested and remains unsure exactly why this is happening, as he doesn't feel he has done anything wrong. So he is shown that Belle is now happily married with a brood of her own children, and then he is left to wait for the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (Michael Carter).

God, I hate you.

The new ghost kicks things off like a good ghost should, by taking Scrooge to a morgue, to have a look at a dead body. It then drags him around London, showing him how everyone will continue to hate him, and how, for some reason, Tiny Tim died and it's Scrooge's fault, for some reason, and not the fact that he lives in disease-ridden Victorian England.

Spooooooooky!

We all know how this ends, right? We just want to call special attention to Scrooge's nephew, Fred. What the hell, Roger Rees? It seemed like an odd choice to play him that way, That's all. Back to whatever you were doing.

Shown: Not Fred.

Jake started having flashbacks about a quarter of the way through, but (he claims) they were the "good kind." He still ended up enjoying the movie and being impressed by George C. Scott's performance, although it's pretty dark and unrepentant.

Derek does not remember watching this before, although he is certain he has. He liked it, and agrees with Jake about how dark George C. Scott is in this.

So light a fire in the fireplace, warm up some soup, and listen to the latest episode!