Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Well, guys...We survived Christmas. Didn't we? You know, I really shouldn't speak for everybody. Let me start over.

Don't let it happen again!

Well, guys...I survived Christmas. So there's that. And here's to hoping that all of you did, too. (Note: If you haven't, please don't tell me, because talking to dead people just feels plain creepy to me.)

In fact, I had a really nice time down at my brother's house, where I saw a few old friends.

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you! Me? I'm just hangin' out with Yoda and Captain Caveman, is all. pic.twitter.com/ewzoVzFa19

— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) December 25, 2015

And, once I got home, I had to spend a lot of time working. But I still had time to take in a bit of mental health exercise.

So, this is a thing... pic.twitter.com/2uxYIUB2cW

— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) December 27, 2015

It should also be noted that this is also a big part of the reason why this week's list is happening on a Tuesday, rather than Sunday or Monday. Also, I'm still experiencing internet issues, so I have to go over to my dad's to do it. He's cool with it, though, and they generally feed me while I'm there, so everybody wins.

But you don't make them dinner, do you, you sonofabitch!

Anyway...

It was a great Christmas, hanging with my brother and his family. And when it was over, I stood back and admired the vast heap of Star Wars-related stuff I ended up with. And it was good.

Of course it was! Don't be silly!

But now is the time for tweets! And, if you dig 'em, why not join us over on Twitter? There may even be stuff funnier than what I'm finding around there myself. Go try it, won't we!

In no particular order...

I didn't take my husband's name when I got married. I figured it'd be confusing if we were both called Keith.

— Oonagh (@Okeating) October 12, 2015

Apparently Star Wars fans hate it when you refer to BB-8 as "that little robot who looks like WALL-E fucked Baymax" or "Big Hero Sex."

— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) December 21, 2015

This weekend Star Wars set the record for biggest opening ever beating the old record holder, yo mama.

— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) December 22, 2015

Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? My 15 year old dog has been on the floor playing dead for 2 years now.

— Clarke Kant (@clarkekant) December 23, 2015

A dildo is the sex toy most likely to be referenced in a hobbit rap battle.

— Elizabeth (@elizabeth_fels) September 25, 2015

glittery wrapping paper is passive aggressive.

— alan tudyk (@alan_tudyk) December 25, 2015

My new 10 TB external hard drive equates to 10 Million megabytes. 10 Trillion kilobytes. = 250,000 copies of Win 95

— Daniel Hyslop (@Hyssydan) December 26, 2015

My wife just googled "Boxing day" and now I have to put away all of these Rocky DVDs and help her do stuff.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 26, 2015

I run like the wind. Sort of all over the place at inconsistent speeds.

— Joshua (@relevantspeedos) May 28, 2015

Women who say "grown-ass man" are required to watch court TV shows, have an outstanding auto title loan, and have rent-to-own furniture.

— Horatio Quartzjixler (@Quartzjixler) December 24, 2015

And there you have it! 

CALM DOWN! IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF TWEETS!

And now, since the week is already almost half over, I figure the best way to sign off is to tell you to have a safe and happy New Years' Eve. And to send you into next year, here's a clip from one of my favorite bands, Barenaked Ladies. (The connection here is, a few years back, I went to see them for a New Years' Eve show...It was awesome...)

All the best and Happy New Year!

Derek and Bosco