Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hey, guys! I hope all of you got your Oscar fix yesterday, because I have zero intention of mentioning anything about it, other than to congratulate Leo DiCaprio for finally getting himself an Academy Award. It's about damn time!

Instead, I've chosen to put awkward animations of Ewoks doing stuff. For instance:

Hot Ewok-On-Human action!

There were also a number of GOP and Democratic caucuses and Super Tuesday pre-gaming and I don't know what all, and I cannot possibly bring myself to talk about any of it anymore. Go look it up, if you want.

Two things I will talk about, though, are: Trump's refusal to shoot down endorsements from the Ku Klux Klan and one of their "former" members, David Duke; and Trump refusing to release his tax returns because, according to him, he can't because he's being audited.

First off, I think it's safe to say that the KKK is a dangerous, racist hate group. David Duke is a former Grand Wizard and (surprise!) a Republican. And he likes the cut of Trump's jib, so he endorsed him. As did the Klan itself (or a branch of it). When asked whether he disavowed these endorsements, Trump said that he'd have to "do a little research" before he answers.

What?!

Dude, let me do the work for you:

David Duke in the KKK and other racist organizations

Also, in case you're not up to speed on what the KKK does, here's this:

Do you really need to read this? THEY. ARE. A. HATE. GROUP.

There. Now man up and either admit you're a racist who is pandering to the basest hatred of other racists, or deny the endorsements. You're welcome. Dick.

It's that simple.

Anyway, I don't know about all of you, but there was a ridiculous amount of snow dropped on me here in Michigan last week, and I hated all of it. And then, three days later, it was almost 60 degrees out. And now, a day later, I'm sitting here and waiting for another four-to-six inches of it to fall again.

Good lord and butter, I hate snow. And groundhogs. That one in Pennsylvania is on the top of my "Animals I Want to Punch" list now. You're days are numbered, Phil...

Ewok-based artist rendering of the above-described event.

And, of course, there was Twitter...The people there never cease to amaze and amuse me with the constant jokes. They're awesome. Don't believe me? Go there and find out for yourself. You will not regret it.

Let me give you a few examples, in no particular order...

The first rule of Timid Club is really only a suggestion.

— Larry Francis (@LarryCFrancis) October 18, 2013

Yelp Review: Babies

Cute at first, but then screamy like angry pterodactyls. There is literally poop everywhere. Would not recommend.

— Sasshole (@RidiculousSheri) January 23, 2016

Sometimes I watch Trump speak and think, is this how it begins? That dark and terrible road to all restaurants becoming Taco Bell? 😳

— J. David Clarke (@Clarketacular) February 24, 2016

There's a knock at the door. Im not expecting company. I don't answer it because what if it's David Lee Roth.

— lafix (@lafix) February 26, 2016

#TedCruz #semen #gop pic.twitter.com/FAeybIYEo9

— Matt Markman (@MattMarkman) February 27, 2016

Me: Hello, Chicago!

Chicago: Your California body has thin skin. [mean snicker] Here's my gift to you. It's wind. I made it. [evil laugh]

— Troy Johnson (@_troyjohnson) February 26, 2016

PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT HOW COOL IT IS TO VAPE I'M SO INTERESTED IN THE EXCITING FLAVORS OF YOUR MOUTH FOG

— Twatasaurus Rex (@toni_goldsetin) February 24, 2016

Now that Scalia is gone, we may never get a definitive ruling on Alien v. Predator.

— Thanks4 Sharing Jerk (@Thx4SharingJerk) February 28, 2016

Whenever you're feeling bad about yourself just think, there are people who call into the radio station over and over to win WWE tickets.

— Tony P. (@Tbone7219) February 13, 2016

Mc Hammer will now let you touch it in exchange for food and shelter.

— Vice_Queen (@Vice_Queen) November 22, 2014

See? I told you! Now get out there and stare the rest of the work in its rheumy, hateful eye.

Y'all gon' make me nyub my nyub! Up in here, up in here!

But before you do that, stare at this clip from The Kids in the Hall, won't you?

Oh, and watch the interview after. Good stuff!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

Imagine this is me and Bosco. Feel free to guess which is which.