We're in Week Two of 2017, and we're still here. For now. However, in just eleven days, all bets are off. So we might as well have some fun until then, right?
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| Strobe light dance-off...GO! |
Trump: Hitler was terrible, did awful things, had bad ideas, a few good ones, really got his ideas across, good communicator, a great guy
— Mr. Pinkly Taurus (@baliska2) April 3, 2016
1. Emergency Kittens
— Maggie Serota 🎅🏻 (@maggieserota) January 2, 2017
2. Trump unfollowed and refollowed Roma Downey a bunch before following his own Chief of Staff. pic.twitter.com/XdezlGRsBR
Roses are red
— a very young pope (@benicus_rex) January 2, 2017
Donald Trump is racist pic.twitter.com/hfvnKFBiTW
Millions of Trump voters won't have health insurance much longer, but at least they'll be able to shoot disease in the face with their guns.
— Elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) January 5, 2017
We have a president-elect of the United States for whom being able to "listen" and "understand" are apparently newsworthy actions. pic.twitter.com/ovtNCP3wxm
— Matt McDermott (@mattmfm) January 6, 2017
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| Yeah. What she said. |
Angry Orange, however, is insisting that this is not an issue. He has the bigly-est entertainment booked! Whether they want to perform or not!
The schedule for Trump's inauguration has leaked pic.twitter.com/i5bGm24Vy8
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) January 1, 2017
So not to worry, hillbillies that are unaware that they have inadvertently shot themselves in the foot and are now congratulating the gun on what a good job it did, you shall be entertained!
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| It means "enjoy yourself while you can, mouth-breathers...We're so screwed." |
A very large segment of Trump goons is gonna spend the next 4 years screaming “WE WON, YOU HAVE TO RESPECT US NOW” online and lol no I don’t
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) January 2, 2017
Well said, sir. Well said. I might also add:
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| Four. Fucking. Years... |
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| Go, you! It's your birthday! Go, you! It's your birthday! |
Just got my menses and regret wearing my white morph suit to this wedding.
— Jefferey Rollins (@jeffereyrollins) January 3, 2017
It's fun to play Pokémon Go and run around catching Pokémon but what I really like is getting them home and then deboning and fileting them.
— John Moe (@johnmoe) January 3, 2017
If you go to the zoo & slap your chest at the gorilla, he sees it as aggressive behavior and WILL challenge you to a Mario Kart race.
— Tony (@Tmoney68) December 29, 2016
Just started a diet to get back to my original weight: 7 pounds, 4 ounces.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 5, 2017
Me: My kids are a nightmare
— John Darby (@mrjohndarby) December 18, 2016
Jacob [in corner, growing a screaming lobster from his hand]: balloons are so sad
Sophie [rapidly dissolving]
Do yourself a favour and never Google "old-timey syphilis pictures" .
— Dentist Bob (@CanyonDentalCen) January 7, 2017
My medical ID bracelet says "Just poke her with a stick & offer her pancakes".
— Thrill Tweeter (@Thrill_Tweeter) January 5, 2017
I developed a very large vocabulary to avoid words I couldn't spell.
— Crazy Myra (@OutOnTheMoors) January 5, 2017
— dianarama (@dianamail17) January 6, 2017
I just ate a sandwich with gluten and peanut butter then sneezed on a Millennial and his mother called in the CDC
— 🌴EnvyDaTropic™🌴 (@envydatropic) January 6, 2017
And there you have it! Now go have an awesome week, will ya? To get it going, here are some My Name Is Earl bits to keep you cheerful.
All the best,
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