Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, guys. Let's get this over with quickly, shall we?

Turns out everyone's worst nightmare wasn't even close to as bad as Angry Orange is currently making it. But there is an ongoing resistance, which involves protests, contacting your representatives, and punching Nazi asshat Richard Spencer in the head.

All of these seems like a good idea.

Many people are saying that punching people in the heads is not really the way it ought to be, which I can understand, but this is a case in which I'm willing to cut the head-puncher some slack. Spencer is a fucking asshole who, after this past weekend's shooting at a mosque in Canada by an Angry Orange supporter, questioned why a mosque would even be in Canada. What a fuckstick.

Also, there's this story about Jack Kirby, one of the Marvel giants who helped create Captain America:

Jack Kirby, ladies and gents: pic.twitter.com/qW0FKRJpXp

— Christopher Cooper (@ARTofCOOP) January 22, 2017

And so, Richard Spencer getting punched in the head is the only GIF I'm using today.

You've been warned.

On the lighter side of things, science and art continue to move forward to varying, but always entertaining, results.

this is everything that Bob Ross isn't and i love it pic.twitter.com/jzNxqkPozR

— tiny bella ☭ (@babycommie666) January 22, 2017

Well this has cheered me up. Someone has invented a car for a goldfish that can be driven around by its position in the tank. pic.twitter.com/TB1l5wkr9W

— Stuart Rutherford (@doodlewhale) January 25, 2017

PROGRESS!

Here's an example of at least one of Newton's Laws of Motion.

Then there were tweets...A bunch of them!So I grabbed a few from Twitter to throw out there...you know, to see if they stick. In no particular order...

When walking through the snow I feel like Rocky training to fight the Russian. Then my socks get wet and I pray for death's sweet embrace.

— Lord Goomba (@ObscureGent) January 22, 2017

Can't believe no one told me that cows can't walk down stairs. Now I'm stuck with all these attic cows.

— Kim Monte (@KimmyMonte) January 23, 2017

[Jabba's Palace]
Slimy Pig Guy 1: What have we become? Remember when it was just us, Pigs in Space?
SPG2: *sobs* Jabba ATE MISS PIGGY!

— Amy (@MsFoxIfUrNasty) January 24, 2017

Men, take note; 7yo just got dumped by his "girlfriend" & instead of being sad, he's happy he can "fart at reading rug time again." Chin up.

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 23, 2017

I feel like I could blend in during a zombie apocalypse simply by wiping my eyebrows off...

— Whatser🌪Name™ (@IamEveryDayPpl) January 25, 2017

A knitting needle in one hand and a hammer in the other, I read over the instructions in Autolobotomy For Dummies one last time.

— Ray (@SirEviscerate) January 25, 2017

The correct serving size for pizza is "until you hate yourself."

— Ryan (@Ryanfc706) January 25, 2017

My day at work:
9AM: Life is beautiful.
9:05AM: I miss my dog.
9:10AM: I hope aliens destroy the earth.

— Meh (@bonehugsnirony) May 9, 2014

Half pound of beef, three buffalo chicken tenders, a handful of onion rings, and a layer of bleu cheese.

And a form-letter suicide note. pic.twitter.com/zC1AmnC8Yq

— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) January 28, 2017

pretty fucking drunk at universal studios who wants me to slap shrek or dry hump a hippogriff let me know

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) January 28, 2017

And there you have it! Now get out there and punch a Nazi! Er, I mean, have a great week! And these need not be mutually exclusive! And to start you off in the right direction, here's a nice, quiet piece of music I think you'll enjoy.


All the best,
Derek and Bosco