Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Well! I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and filled themselves up with loads of food, napped enthusiastically, and were as surprised as I was to see the Lions actually win a Thanksgiving game.

This week's batch of tweets is going to be dedicated to our pal @redtache, who inspired this week's collection of .gifs when he sent me this one:

Mikey just hasn't been the same since the other Goonies left town.

Anyway, it's been a not especially great week. And I have to say, I'm a little disappointed in you guys. I mean, I thought we agreed last week to not be so...what's the word? Murder-y? Yes, that's it. And yet, someone went and shot up a Planned Parenthood to promote his "Christian" values.

Now don't get me wrong; I know a lot of really nice, good Christian people. They treat others well, they do the best they can to make the world a little better, and they DO NOT go around shooting places up because that place, among many other things, performs a service that the "Christian" doesn't agree with. Sure, they might protest, and that's their right, as it is for all Americans. But protesting by killing people in not something that tends to cross their minds. We need more Christians like that, please.

A little peek into my daily skin care regimen.

And then there's Donald Trump...

Turns out that, while he's getting his base all riled up to go beat up some o' them foreigner types, it turns out that the people in the political party he belongs to (for now) are not especially happy with him about it. Turns out that his not-too-bright supporters may be a little less informed than the GOP thought, and that makes them dangerous.

You let muslin in and then you'll get rayon, chenille, chintz, shantung, and omg, taffeta Keep our fabrics pure pic.twitter.com/9aoVBU9INj

— Rabih Alameddine (@rabihalameddine) November 22, 2015

Let's hope that Trump's dropping poll numbers are a sign that, finally, the GOP has found the line that they aren't willing to cross.

Rick Perry, on the other hand, wants to make this illegal because it's so suggestive.

Also, as I said at the beginning of this post, this past Thursday was Thanksgiving. Along with the traditional eating-enough-to-kill-a-horse and football stuff, there were parades. And one of the best know is the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, which has been going on since before Macy's even existed, which is pretty impressive. As were some of the gigantic balloons..

UPDATE:Rumors of runaway Stewie ballon false, just @realDonaldTrump flying out for dinner. @absrdNEWS #MacysParade pic.twitter.com/0wYv7t8ucf

— Shadow Ofaman (@HistoryDavid) November 26, 2015

HI KIDS WOULD YOU LIKE A BISCUIT OR PERHAPS SOME MURDER pic.twitter.com/XhSYtbswpy

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) November 26, 2015

Oh, and before I forget, there were gobs of awesome tweets from the folks over on Twitter! Being the awesome dude that I am, I grabbed a few of them to give you a little sampling of just how groovy it is over there, and to convince you to join us over there! Here, have a look:

I dutch oven myself a lot for someone with an unrestricted driver's license.

— Oblivia (@aveuaskew) November 22, 2015

If you wanted to hang onto your snot for sentimental reasons a handkerchief is for you.

— Dan (@Social_Mime) November 23, 2015

I camped out all night on the sidewalk with hundreds of other people & I don't even know what they sell at "Rescue Mission".

— Dirty Joe Punster (@DirtyJoePunster) November 27, 2015

Telling me that I'm the smartest woman you've ever met doesn't say much about either of us.

— Bea Yotch (@AnitaHelmet) January 31, 2014

"Daaaaaaad, the Dog is digging up the garden again!" pic.twitter.com/PWytvKx7OM

— Michael Clarke (@Mr_Mike_Clarke) November 23, 2015

If there's a sock on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with the other one.

— Ham on Wry (@realHamOnWry) November 23, 2015

I bet at some point the disciples started looking at Jesus the way the rest of Van Halen looked at David Lee Roth

— Seamus O'flaugherty (@seamussaid) November 28, 2015

Thanksgiving sex is just like regular sex but with more gravy

— Mariya Alexander (@MariyaAlexander) November 26, 2015

Saw the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special for the first time in years. Forgot about the part where they try to deport Marcie.

— America's Henchman (@TheDailySchmuck) November 27, 2015

#ItsNotAHolidayUntil some dick blocks your car at the mall. pic.twitter.com/ujR0XEEi0X

— J❂RD❂N (@BadJordon) November 12, 2015

And there you have it! Awesome, right?

Maybe not as awesome as being hand-fed delicious meats...

Well, get a load of this: I even grabbed a video clip to get your week pointed in the right direction. It's actually the movie we are watching for this week's Here Be Spoilers episode!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco