Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, guys! Sorry the list is late this week, but technical issues beyond my control have caused me to not have an interwebs connection. (My neighbor, who was kind enough to let me leech off of his connection, is moving, so now I got nothin'.) As a result, the lists might be a little sporadic for a while. They'll get here, but maybe not on late Sunday/early Monday like usual.)

Anyway, an odd week. First, Twitter decided to change the well-known "favorite" star to a "like" heart. Obviously, this is way more important than any stupid politics or anything, so it was a huge issue for the denizens of Twitter world. Who spent entirely too much time complaining about it.

BEFORE: *kicking in door* Im starring the SHIT out of you NOW: *traipsing thru grove of lillacs* & a heart for u & a heart for u & a heart f

— ManicBrunch (@Puercotron) November 5, 2015

In other news, retired neurosurgeon and current Republican presidential hopeful Ben Carson said a lot of stupid things, including that he believes the pyramids in Egypt were built to store grain, and not dead pharoahs.

"Ben Carson makes stuff up" said Donald Trump, self-proclaimed zillionaire, demigod and unicorn owner.

— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) November 6, 2015

He was also called-out on his statements about his past that aren't quite holding up in the harsh realty of daylight.

All that aside, the people over on Twitter were hilarious, as always. And, also as always, I had a heck of a time just picking ten. It was "Bruce-Willis-crawling-through-air-ducts-in-Die-Hard" difficult. But I did it. Wanna see?

In no particular order...

What the hell is a Fetty Wap and can I get it with chips, cheese or salad?

— Wreck-It-Red (@MrRedWest) November 2, 2015

there are going to be 5 billion people online soon... and I'm gonna have to work overtime to make sure every single one of them sees my ass

— MY what a gassy baby (@robertjbennett) November 2, 2015

*interrupts your heartfelt story* Oh NOW I hear your New York accent!! Say "dying wish" again! Ok now say "coffee"!

— Marl Beans (@Marlebean) August 5, 2015

[in a china shop] BULL: cool it, guys, it's just a dumb stereotype... [bull sees a spider] SHOP OWNER: NOOO!! [woman driver plows into shop]

— Above Ground Pool (@Jeff_G_Nixon) June 5, 2015

When you want, but clearly can't handle, the juitttth. pic.twitter.com/0Vs9APeS7D

— James (@JaySaysStuff) November 6, 2015

Gary Busey runs a seminar on how to pleasure a woman. "Fried chicken!" he blurts while batting a beach ball against the wall, "And yams."

— Mr. Bea Arthur (@FuckabillyRex) November 5, 2015

I have so much butt hair my diarrhea comes out as filtered drinking water.

— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) November 2, 2015

Sorry about all the god tweets. I've spent the morning staring at my sinful vagina in a mirror and got all fired up.

— Mariya Alexander (@MariyaAlexander) November 6, 2015

[5 minutes after being trapped in an elevator] Finally, an excuse to drink my own urine

— Fury Pesto (@RocketRankoon) November 8, 2015

This guy can't keep his dick dry, I bet. pic.twitter.com/kJBohJS53h

— Keating Thomas (@keatingthomas) November 8, 2015

Not too shabby, as my dad likes to say. So have a good rest of the week, will ya? And to get you started, here's a trailer for the Star Wars Holiday Special, edited together with the music from the The Force Awakens trailer.

Incidentally, you should totally give a listen to our episode about the Star Wars Holiday Special from last year's Holiday Moviepalooza because it's getting close to that time of year again!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco