UHF (The Lost Episode! Sorta!)

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(A Note from Derek: A few years ago, the guys and I sat down to watch a movie. The recorder was set up after, and we did what we usually do. But something went wrong, and my computer crapped-out, taking the unedited audio file of that particular episode with it. Now, it seems only appropriate that, upon the triumphant return of Larry to the show, we should have a second go at tackling this classic of cinema. So, welcome back, Larry! And welcome back, Lost Episode!)

Oh, the 80s...Such a great time, musically. Hair bands were all the rage, everybody was dressed like they were going to a bondage orgy, and Bob Geldof wanted to feed Africa. Also, an accordion playing parody writer named Al Yankovic was getting some major attention for his songs. It started with recording a few songs in the bathroom across the hall from the college radio station he worked at, and eventually led to artist-endorsed parodies of superstars of the time, such as Madonna and Michael Jackson. And then it was time to conquer a new frontier: the cinema. And in 1989, that dream came to fruition with this week's movie, UHF.

"Weird Al" Yankovic is George Newman, a guy who has trouble keeping his mind on his work, largely because he daydreams about being the star of action and adventure movies. When he and his roommate Bob (David Bowe) get fired from yet another job because of George, their outlook is not good, especially for George, whose girlfriend Teri (Victoria Jackson) is pretty close to giving up on him, as well.

During a convenient meeting with his Aunt Esther (Sue Ane Langdon) and Uncle Harvey (Stanley Brock), George is put in charge of a low-wattage UHF television station that his uncle won in a poker game. When he takes Teri to have a look at the place, they meet the soft-spoken and odd Philo (Anthony Geary), the station's program manager and resident scientist. He tells them that the station basically shows old reruns, but George informs him that he has different ideas.

Keep dreaming, Al. Keep dreaming.

The next day, George and Bob come to work, where they meet receptionist/aspiring reporter Pamela Finklestein (Fran Drescher), who warns them that the station is not exactly a money-maker. A quick look at the books confirms this.

At the same time, the station received a package that is meant to go to the town's network affiliate station, and George volunteers to take it to Channel 8 and deliver it himself. When he gets there, he meets R.J. Fletcher (Kevin McCarthy), who immediately tries to fire him, only to be told George doesn't work there. Fletcher then accuses him of spying and has him escorted from the building. On the way out, George meets Stanley Spadowski (a pre-openly racist Michael Richards), a janitor who has just been fired by Fletcher, and offers him a job at U62. Stanley enthusiastically accepts and follows him out of the building.

Their faces say it all.

Back at the station, George and Bob are trying new programs to bring the ratings up, but their first attempt, Uncle Nutzy's Clubhouse, does not do the trick, and Bob has to let George know that the station will be bankrupt by the end of the week. Determined to not let this happen, George and Bob stay up all night and try to come up with more shows. George falls asleep at his desk and dreams of being a rock star and singing about The Beverly Hillbillies, only to wake up in the morning and realize he missed a date with Teri and her parents. He tries calling her, and she breaks up with him.

About to lose yet another job, and distraught about losing his girlfriend, George has to do his show, where he gets so depressed he leaves in the middle of it, putting Stanley in charge of the show while he and Bob go to a bar to drown their sorrows. Once they get to the bar, however, they realize the entire crowd is watching Stanley on television, and they immediately head back to see what happened. They arrive just as Stanley is finishing up, and George offers him the opportunity to do the show every day. After some haggling to ensure he will still be able to do the janitorial work, too, Stanley agrees, and the show is re-titled Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse.

That kid definitely got hurt, right?

Newly energized, George and Bob start making up new shows and bringing their friends in to host them. Among them are Wheel of Fish starring Kuni (Gedde Watanabe) the Karate teacher, and Raul's Wild Kingdom, which features the host (Trinidad Silva) teaching poodles how to fly. Bob and George both claim they didn't hire Raul, so nobody knows how he got there. Another show involves Philo, who teaches viewers how to make things like plutonium with household items. Even George get's another show, Town Talk, which is pretty much a parody of Geraldo Rivera's old talk show, but with slightly more integrity.

Soon, the stations rating beat even Channel 8, which infuriates Fletcher, who starts planning a way to take U62 down. He finds out who owns the station and contacts Uncle Harvey to make an offer. Harvey, whose gambling has hit a bump, finds himself $75,000 in the hole to a gangster called Big Louie, so he agrees to Fletcher's offer. But when Aunt Esther finds out about it, she tells Harvey he has to give George a chance to raise the money first. Harvey agrees, much to Fletcher's annoyance.

Annoyed? Or constipated? YOU MAKE THE CALL!

When George is told he can make an offer, he comes up with the idea of holding a telethon to sell shares in the station, making it publicly-owned. Stanley is the host, and things start out really well. So well, in fact, that Fletcher sends some thugs to kidnap Stanley and keep him off the air, hopefully causing U62 to not meet their goal. He also goes on the air to denounce U62, but Philo interrupts Channel 8's video feed with video taken earlier of Fletcher telling Teri how he truly feels about the people in the town. It's not good.

When Philo discovers that Stanley has been kidnapped, he tells George, who launches a rescue to save Stanley. He rushes to Channel 8 and bursts through the doors, only to be taken captive himself. Fortunately, he planned ahead, and Kuni and his students attack the thugs and get George and Stanley out of there. They all head back to the station to finish out the telethon.

With the last few minutes left, they are still $2000 short, and Fletcher shows up to shut the whole thing down. He pulls the plug. (Although it is not clear on what, as everything still appears to be working.) As he is about to get onstage and tell everyone to give up, Big Louie and Uncle Harvey show up, looking for the money from George...

Working in TV is rough!

But will George and the rest of the town get the rest of it together in time? Or will Fletcher turn the station into a parking lot? Will Pamela ever realize her dream of being a not-very-good reporter? Will Stanley ever understand what's going on?

You'll have to tune in to find out!

Larry is back, baby! And he was super-psyched to come back to this fine film! He also was really happy that our pal Redtache sent along a stand-in, as can be seen in the photo below.

Jake doesn't have a lot to say, other than that he quite enjoyed the movie. What more is there to say, really?

Derek also doesn't have a lot to say, but he does anyway, as usual. He likes the subtle jokes as much as the very broad ones, and he is a big fan of the various movie parodies.

So bust out that Hawaiian shirt and those Vans, put out a plate of Twinkie Wiener Sandwiches, and check out this week's episode!