October 28, 2015

Land of the Dead (with Bonus Stuff!)

To download this week's episode, right-click here and choose, "Save file as..."

To download the guys' running commentary of this week's movie, right-click here and choose, "Save file as..."

As October winds down and the guys start trying to find movies that are specific to Thanksgiving for November (there are not as many as you might think), they're here to offer a Very Special Episode of Here Be Spoilers.

What's so special about it, you may ask? Well, for starters, it finished out October's Month of the Living Dead. Also, the guys decided to record their unscripted comments as they watched the movie so you can sync it up to the movie and listen to that, too! (Directions to follow.)

So simple, even a dead guy can do it!
Anyway, down to it.

What do you get when you give George Romero access to two-thirds of the primary cast of Super Mario Bros., a couple of the folks involved in Shaun of the Dead, Dario Argento's daughter, tool-using zombies, and the most badass RV known to man?

Tonight...we camp...IN HELL!
You get Land of the Dead, the fourth in the ongoing Something, Something of the Dead series Romero started back in 1968. And we're here to tell you that this is the best one yet!

"I'm not intimidated that your pecs are bigger than mine at all! Why do you ask?"
Riley (Simon Baker) is a guy who gets stuff done for Kaufman (Dennis Hopper). But now he wants out. He wants to leave this town and its vast population of brain-eating undead, and head for Canada, where the zombies are much more polite and apologetic. He can't leave, though, without doing one final job for Kaufman: Get Kaufman's zombie-fighting tank, Dead Reckoning, back from Riley's former number two guy, Cholo (John Leguizamo), who has stolen it so he can ransom some money out of Kaufman himself and leave, as well.

Fun Fact: Was not at all aware he was in a movie.
Complicated enough for ya? It gets better with the addition of Big Daddy (Eugene Clark), a gas station worker-turned-zombie that starts to notice things, including how guns work. Remember Bub from the last movie? Yeah, this guy is the same, but angrier.

"Are you losing weight, Dave?"
Big Daddy starts organizing the other zombies and gets them headed toward Fiddler's Green, Kaufman's stronghold. Does Big Daddy know that Kaufman is sending soldiers to destroy as many zombies as possible? Or is he just captivated by the shiny lights, like so many of us would be? Who knows. The guy's dead and not able to talk, but he doesn't let that hold him back! He has a goal, and he is going for it!

Along with his new Number Two, Charlie (Robert Joy), Riley goes looking for Cholo, taking a few minutes to rescue Slack (Asia Argento) from a vicious little pimp named Chihuahua (Phil Fondacaro), and also to gather a small group of soldier/mercenaries working for Kaufman.

All of this, just to catch the guy who played Sid in the Ice Age movies.
 Does Riley catch up to Cholo? Will Kaufman get Dead Reckoning back? Will Big Daddy and his army of zombies reach Fiddler's Green? Why do most of the main characters want to leave Pennsylvania so badly? It's a nice state, if you ignore all the zombies trying to eat your flesh and stuff.

Jake is happy to tell everybody that this is his favorite Yadda-Yadda of the Dead movie. Not only are the story and the effects way better than the ones that came before it, but there are a few neat Easter eggs in there. See how many you can find!

Larry also loves this flick, particularly the way Big Daddy manages to get things done, despite being all dead and stuff, and also the explosions. So many great explosions. But what he really digs is Dead Reckoning. Who wouldn't want to go camping in that thing?!

Derek actually enjoyed this one for good reasons! Good story, cool zombies, fine acting, and nifty effects, He also has way too much fun making jokes at the expense of Pillsbury (Pedro Miguel Arce) during the commentary.  He asks that Mr. Arce not hunt him down and beat him like an old rug.

There's also a lot of Star Wars talk, among other things, in The Lobby, new movies Coming Soon, Hollywood Purgatory, and Larry's List!

So download the commentary here, and the podcast here, and have a great Halloween!

(Editor's Note: Just a suggestion from us here at Ugly Couchcast Industries...To fully enjoy the entire Here Be Spoilers immersive experience, we recommend that you listen to our unscripted. on-the-fly commentary of this week's movie first. But hey, don't let us tell you how to live your life. Do what you want.)


How to sync up the guys' commentary to Land of the Dead

Load the commentary into your computer or mp3 player or whatever, and start it. When Derek tells you to, pause it and start your movie. When the Universal logo disappears completely, start the commentary and enjoy!

You may have to pause either the movie or the commentary for a second or two at some points during the movie to keep it on track, but it shouldn't be too big of a problem.

October 26, 2015

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

You guys...You make this hard for me to do every week, ya know that?

Here's why: Each week, I have to search through all the funny tweets you wrote--tweets that made me laugh loud enough to scare Bosco, or at least snort Coke out my nose. (I would not recommend this.) And, as I go through them, I have to make a lot of tough decisions about which ones to include and which ones, sadly, to pass on. If I could, I'd post all of them, but then it wouldn't be so much a list as a recreation of my own Twitter feed, but without all the poorly-written ones from me.
But only Bosco would hear me.
But I still forge ahead, looking for those perfect ten to show you just what you are missing by not joining Twitter and finding some funny on your own. Maybe one day you'll see the light and GET OVER THERE AND FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. (Subtle, right?)

Anyway, it was a heck of a week last week. presidential hopeful and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton sat down to talk to the yahoos running the 478th Benghazi hearing designed to show that she personally went there and karate-kicked those four Americans to death, stopping only to give piles of free government money to gay immigrants and forcing any Christians she ran across to convert to Islam while receiving federally-funded abortions. I think.
Trey Gowdy gives his opening statement to an attentive audience.
To be honest, I gave up caring about these hearings when the last few committees reported that Clinton had not ordered security to stand down. But I found it interesting that so many people came forward to say that these hearings were--GASP!---bullshit designed to make Hillary look bad during the presidential campaigns.

Now, normally, I would take statements like that with a grain of salt because, like so many other average citizens, I am an idiot, and I'd like to assume that somewhere in the governmental machine, someone is sitting at a desk and actually trying not to destroy everybody for personal gain. But this time I paid a little more attention because the people who were saying this stuff were, in fact, the guys who were running the hearings.

When the guy running the show (Trey Gowdy), as well as another guy who, at one point, was supposed to take over the Speaker of the House position when John Boehner leaves (Kevin McCarthy), and one of their investigators (Maj. Bradley Podliska) all say it's horseshit...Well, maybe you should pay attention.

And speaking of the Speaker of the House, the above-mentioned McCarthy decided that, nah...He didn't want the job. There was a lot of speculation as to why, but it all boils down to McCarthy taking a look at what was going on between Boehner and the loonies in the Freedom Caucus, and he uttered those two important words that have saved so many lives and careers in the past: "Fuck that."

Smart man.

Unfortunately, that means Paul Ryan has decided to step in and take the job. There's more about that, but I'm frankly sick of talking about it.
Let's go back to the studio for the weather report...
And, finally, there's a serious thing to talk about. This past weekend, the strongest hurricane on record, Patricia, hit Mexico, putting thousands out of their homes, destroying loads of property, and, according to some douche nuggets on Facebook and Twitter, completely ruining the vacations of hundreds of tourists! ("This shit doesn't happen when we go to the Wisconsin Dells, Martha!")

Now, yes, this is pretty upsetting. All those folks injured or, worse, killed; those whose homes were damaged or destroyed...It's terrible when stuff like that happens to anybody. (Except you, Todd. You know why.) But even more upsetting is the fact that this hurricane, so late in the season, was so strong and so huge. Let's throw it over to my pal @PaperWash to see a comparison to the last big-ass, hurricane that hit close to that area:

They're getting bigger. Yikes. Global warming? An angry god (or gods)? I'm not picking sides, although I have my opinions. (Damn you, Todd. You dick.) But regardless of the reason, it's extremely worrying.
Almost as worrying as whatever is happening here.
Meanwhile, I spent some time last week looking inward and asking myself the hard questions. And maybe...Just maybe...I learned a little something about myself.

Oh, yeah...And some folks over on Twitter made me laugh. What say we get to those, being as that's why you're here, I assume? In no particular order...

BONUS EXTRA TWEET (requested by @redtache):

And there you have it! See what I mean? It gets more and more difficult each week, but I keep doing it. For you. And to validate my need to ramble about other stuff under the guise of humor. It's win-win!

Anyway, have an awesome week. And, to start it off, have a look at the unofficial Star Wars trailer some genius created by editing together all of the released footage from The Force Awakens so far.

As an added bonus, here's John Boyega reacting to seeing himself in the trailer during Monday Night Football last week:

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

October 21, 2015

Day of the Dead (1985)

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First, there was Night of the Living Dead...

Then there was Dawn of the Dead...

Now there's Day of the Dead! And the guys sat down to watch it...so you don't have to!

What up, cap'n!
Day of the Dead, like its predecessors, is about zombies and the terrible people they eat. However, unlike those films that came before it, this one has a bunch of people who look like better actors! For instance, there's the guy who looks like Nathan Fillion:

He's a horrible piece of garbage who is the highest ranking soldier in his group of about ten dudes and a lowly woman who are all hiding underground in a mine somewhere in Florida. He uses his power position to pretend he knows what he's doing, although it's pretty clear about five minutes in that he does not. Every word that comes out of his mouth is yelled at top volume.

Then there's the guy who looks like John Goodman as Walter from The Big Lebowski:

By an amusing coincidence, the character's name is also Walter, which led the guys to speculate whether this was meant to be a prequel to The Big Lebowski. Even if it's not, they decided to pretend it was. He also yells everything, occasionally punctuating it with a shrill, wheezing laugh.

Walter's partner looks like"Road Rash", the bouncer at Club Scum in Hobgoblins.

When they're not yelling at everyone--including each other--these three imbeciles corral zombies for Dr. Frankenstein (not his real name) to experiment on, ostensibly to find a way to stop the dead from coming back to life. (Nobody, it seems, saw the first two movies.)

In the meantime, I shall turn them into clowns for our amusement!
He doesn't yell nearly as much as the others, and even manages to give a monologue or two that give the appearance of actual acting. Needless to say, he is one of the most talented of the non-dead.

His assistant, whose name we are too uninterested to look up, looks like a young Dave Foley from The Kids in the Hall.

He, too, has a positive attitude about menstruation.
He really doesn't last long enough to do much yelling, so there's not much more to add about him.

One of the other soldiers is names Martinez. Despite him being, as fake John Goodman calls him, "a goddamn spic," he looks a lot like actor/comedian Jason Mantzoukas:

What's up, Jerks!
Although it's not really explained, he's unhealthy, and, of course, the other soldiers treat him like something they found stuck to their shoe. He gets his revenge, though...Oh, yes...

Then there are these two guys:

Comically Jamaican Guy and Emaciated Mr. Bean!
Comically Jamaican Guy, as is normally the case in the Romero zombie movies, s the most rational, clear-thinking person in the group. Mr. Bean up there is an alcoholic. He's all but useless. Neither of them yell very much at all.

And finally, there's Sarah, the token female character:

Martinez is sad that Sarah will not share her stash of sweet, sweet heroin.
Unlike her predecessors, Sarah actually contributes. She displays grim determination as she takes care of Martinez, including cutting his arm off when he gets bitten by a zombie (trust us; it helps), helps corral zombies for Dr. Frankenstein, and is even willing to shoot Nathan Fillion and his cronies! A big change from the comatose Barbara from Night of the Living Dead and whatever the hell the name was of the pregnant, clothes modeling woman from Dawn of the Dead.

All of these people are just awful. Really. You start rooting for the zombies to eat them right away, even before we get to meet the most charismatic and interesting character in the entire movie: Bub.

You do not want to miss the dramatic manscaping scene.
Bub is Dr. Frankenstein's real experiment. The doctor believes that it is possible to train the zombies to work for the living, as opposed to them just eating us. And, although there are a few test subjects that just don't cut it, Bub turns out to be pretty good at picking up old habits, such as using the phone:

No, you hang up! Tee-hee!
And listening to music.

It's like Adele is singing just to me!
The real breakthrough, though, comes when the doctor discovers that Bub used to be a soldier, and has Sarah give Bub her gun, because what could possibly go wrong there?

Oh. Right. That.
Suffice to say, lots of people get eaten (Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness make-up effects guy Greg Nicotero!), and you really won't care at all. As we said, they're all just awful. And then Martinez does his best to make sure there are no survivors at all, including himself, by allowing a huge crowd of zombies to use the elevator into the underground hideout. It's messy.

Derek did not like this movie. At all. The only redeeming qualities, to him, are the make-up effects and Bub. So he spent most of his time trying to figure out who all these terrible actors looked like. He also kept calling the Jamaican guy "the 7-Up guy", despite the fact that he looked nothing like him, and his voice was too high. Derek is an idiot.

Jake agrees that it's not very good, but he still finds it to be entertaining. He also tries to figure out the timeline and this movie's placement in it for the entire "Living Dead" series. Although he doesn't come up with a definitive timeline, he makes a little headway.

Larry loves this movie, and he doesn't care who knows it. He is, however, willing to concede that some of the actors were maybe hamming it up a tiny bit too much, but that doesn't take away from the story for him. It just makes him want the zombies to eat everyone faster. Especially that asshole Rickles. Man, did that guy suck.

There's also news in The Lobby, new releases in Coming Soon, Larry's List, Hollywood Purgatory, and another round of Movie Mash-Up -- Larry's game show!

As a bonus, the guys have a frank discussion about which "Saturday Morning Cartoons of Old" should be rebooted into movies and which directors could make them the most disturbing versions.

So tune in and give it a listen! And remember: Next week, we finish off the Month of the Living Dead with Land of the Dead! See you then!

October 19, 2015

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hey, gang! It's another week, and another steaming pile of fresh tweets to cram in your eyeholes!

And what a week it's been! There was the Democratic Debate, which was, predictably, really just the Hillary Clinton - Bernie Sanders debate with a few guests who got to say stuff sometimes. But, according to one of them (I'm not interested in any of them enough to find out which one it was...I think Jim Webb? Or Lincoln Chaffee?), not enough time to say the stuff they wanted to say. It doesn't matter, though, because nobody wanted to hear anything they wanted to say because they were listening to Bernie and Hillary.

Although most of the analysts say that Hillary won the debate, Bernie got some good points in, and he pretty much won the night when he came to Hillary's defense to say that the public was "sick of hearing about your damn e-mails." A nice move, and surprisingly modern for a guy who still has dial-up.

Bernie's brain trust.
Over on the Republican side, Donald Trump and Jeb! Bush both have teams working on the best "Yo mama so fat" jokes they can create. In the meantime, they've been taking random shots at the Democrats and each other. It started when Trump took a shot at Jeb!'s brother, pointing out that 9/11 happened on his watch. Infuriated, Jeb! said his brother kept America safe.

Trump was not about to let that one slide. Instead, he responded in a surprisingly lucid manner and pointed out that Dubya was, in fact, they guy who was in office when the World Trade Center was attacked, going so far as to add that Dubya was on vacation for the entire month beforehand.

Though I am by no means a fan of Trump, I have to give credit where it's due. That was a solid one-two punch of factual information that wasn't in any way at all diminished by this tweet to Hillary Clinton during the Democratic Debate:

Take the time let the stupid to be properly absorbed.
Meanwhile, not having cable, I was unable to see the debate, and I don't follow Trump or Jeb! on Twitter (I see these tweets when other folks re-tweet them--thanks, you guys!). So I spent what can only be considered an inappropriate amount of time looking for animated GIFs by typing random words into Chrome. Sometimes it's a win...

That is one rockin' double cheeseburger!
Other times, it's pretty upsetting and weird.

And when I've made myself throw up, I go over to Twitter, seeking out the soothing balm that is other people's tweets that are so much funnier than anything I can throw out there. F'rinstance, in no particular order, these:

And there you have it! A pretty solid entry and a great bunch of folks, all of whom I recommend you follow when you're over there. And if you're not over there, get over there. It's awesome. Seriously.

Anyway, have a great week, and to set you on that path, here's one of the best ape-based music videos I've ever seen. (I know I've shown this before, but it's a good song and a fun video, so bear with me.)

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

October 14, 2015

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

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Welcome to Week 2 of Month of the Living Dead!

This week, the guys sat down to watch Dawn of the Dead, the 1978 follow-up to George A. Romero's 1968 classic, Night of the Living Dead.

This one takes place primarily in a mall, after television executive Francine (Gaylen Ross) and her idiot boyfriend Stephen (David Emge) leave Francine's very yell-y news broadcast and pick up a couple of S.W.A.T. guys (Ken Foree as Peter, and Scott Reiniger as Roger), fresh from shooting up a tenement in Philadelphia, while fueling Stephen's helicopter at a gas station out in the boonies of Pennsylvania. Seriously. That happens. Do all Pennsylvania gas stations carry helicopter fuel?

These are the smartest people in the '78 Zombie Apocalypse.
Once a group consensus determines that a nearby shopping mall is the best place ever to wait out a flood of zombies, plans are made to get stuff done. Oh, and at some point, it is revealed that Francine is pregnant with idiot Stephen's child.

"That means your boobs will get bigger!"
So, with all of that stuff going on--zombies outside, a moody pregnant chick inside--the only logical thing to do is go shopping! Thus begins a fifteen- to twenty-minute montage of them trying on outfits, grabbing guns and ammo, Francine putting on makeup...Everybody just generally enjoying the hell out of themselves.

At this point, Peter decides, hey, why bother just grabbing supplies when they can just stay right there in the mall that has everything they need? The only problem is that, eventually, the glass on the main floor will give out after a few days of zombies pounding on it constantly, so Peter comes up with a plan that involves moving trucks in front of the entrances and windows. It goes off without a hitch and everyone is happy and lives forever and Francine and Stephen's child grows up to discover a cure for the zombies!

Hint: Part of the cure is a new wardrobe!
Just kidding.

Roger ruins almost everything by getting himself bitten repeatedly by the zombies because he forgot to get his bag out of the second truck they moved. Now, we here at Ugly Couchcast Industries are all about accessorizing, but when you forget your man-purse and are being pursued by hordes of the flesh-eating living dead, we believe you might just want to chalk it up as a loss and maybe go back inside your fully-stocked mall and just grab a new one.

After what seems like months passing in real-time, during which we get to watch everybody smoke a lot, Francine and Stephen having dinner, and Peter keeping watch over the obviously infected Roger, the monotony is broken up not by the zombies breaking in, but by a rogue gang of bikers led by special effects guy (and apparent immortal) Tom Savini.

Somewhere, there's a painting of him that just keeps getting older.
The bikers just want a piece of the action (merchandise-wise), and rampage through the mall, inadvertently letting the zombies inside. What follow can only be described as the best zombie-cleansing ever put down on celluloid. And what, you may ask, makes this so? Observe:

Yep. And there's seltzer spraying, too!
But, alas, there is one tiny flaw in the bikers' plans to kill everyone, destroy the zombies, and take over the mall: Stephen is, as mentioned before, an idiot. He opens fire on the bikers and bad things happen to him. Then, when he's trapped in an elevator, even more bad stuff happens to him.

Tragically, he cannot handle his Fruit Gushers.
And even though the bikers appeared to be making some headway, things did not work out for them, either.

Consult your doctor about whether a zombie apocalypse is right for you.
Zombie Stephen steps up and leads the rest of the zombies up to the secret hiding place that Peter had built for them, which leads to the final confrontation between Francine and Peter, and the undead! Will anyone survive?

Jake likes the remake of this movie much more than he liked this one. Partly because of the improved effects, but also because Stephen and Francine aren't quite as useless in that one as they are in this.

Larry wants to know what the hell the deal is with this guy:

We guess the whole reincarnation thing was a bust for this dude.
Derek is visibly shaken by a single image from the movie. It involves the fat, shirtless zombie in the black shorts. We won't go into detail, other than to say that it involves a glimpse of way too much wrinkly inner thigh meat. It's...It's horrible.

There's also New York Comic Con news and more in The Lobby, new movies Coming Soon, a new Hollywood Purgatory, and Larry's List!

So grab this week's episode and give it a listen!

October 11, 2015

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hey, guys! It was another great week of Twitter-y goodness. Oh, sure, there was a bunch of stuff that happened in the real world, but, frankly, I am sick to death of talking about all of it. So instead, I've decided to focus this week's pre-list section on tacos!

You throw me the taco...I'll throw you the whip!
Why tacos, you ask? Well, lots of reasons. First, they are an awesome food object. Everybody likes them. Oh, sure, lots of people don't like lettuce on them, or tomatoes, or hard shell, or even soft shell. Some like sour cream on their tacos. Others prefer guacamole. (For the record, those people are wrong.) But rest assured, there's a taco out there for everybody.

Myself, I would prefer a constant rain of tacos. But that's just me.
Tacos have become so popular that they have developed their own little subculture here on the interwebs. Taco Tuesday is an actual thing that has pretty much become an unofficial holiday. I'm sure there's even some sort of weird, taco-related erotica floating around out there.

Oh, Rule 43...Is there no end to the horrors you present to the world?
Now, I enjoy a nice taco from time to time, but burritos are more my sort of thing. Does that make me a bad person? Of course not; there are so many other things that could do that. I don't see the point of focusing on my love of burritos.

Anyway, do you know what the best kind of tacos are? Surprise tacos.

And surprise mini tacos are their own magical surprise!
But enough about tacos. (For now.) What say we get around to this week's list of tweets, shall we? And, once again, if you like the tweets you read here, go follow these folks on Twitter, will ya? A guy can only suggest this sort of thing so much.

Anyhow...In no particular order...

And there you have it! Almost as awesome as being strapped into a machine and being force-fed tacos!

I know that was a reach, but I really wanted to put this last one in here.
So...Have a great week! And to start it off, here's a word from our sponsor, Taco Town.

(For the record, I would eat that taco.)

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

October 8, 2015

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

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(Unfortunately, the guys had to start with a short roster this week. Jake couldn't make it because he was sick, so Larry and Derek had to do the show as a duo. We'll return to our regularly-scheduled hosts next week. Also of note: The word "zombie" is never used in this zombie movie. We have made up for this error by using the word "zombie" as many times as possible while writing about this zombie movie.)

As Halloween is this month, the guys decided that they needed a theme. And that theme is Month of the Living Dead, so they're watching the first four movies in George A. Romero's library of zombie films!

Formal attire is clearly not required.
This week, the guys watched Night of the Living Dead, the first in the series. It's the story of Barbara, a soul-crushingly bland woman who only wishes to visit her father's grave without having her brains consumed by a crowd of reanimated dead people.

Unfortunately, it appears that she chose to do it on Opposite Day, because after her brother, a colossal jerk named Johnny who looks like he runs a novelty shop...

Johnny models the new Crazy Eyes Glas...What? Those are his actual eyes?

...bitches and complains about having to make the trip on a Sunday, they are attacked by a zombie. Johnny is killed with exactly the amount of dignity he deserves, and Barbara runs away.

After a brisk jog (during which she manages to fall down at least twice and lose both of her shoes), Barbara finds an old house in which to take refuge until the creepy old dude sees a squirrel and wanders away.

She's emoting so hard right now!
Once inside, she finds Ben, the smartest person in this whole damn movie.

After ten minutes with Barbara, he decides the zombies aren't moving fast
enough and takes matters into his own hands.
Ben is barricading the house to keep the zombies out, and he enlists Barbara to help. She would have been more helpful if he had just nailed her across one of the windows.

Once the house is deemed sufficiently safe, a bunch of people come wandering up from the basement. There's Tom and Judy, as well as Harry Cooper and his wife, The Helen Cooper. Their daughter, Karen, stays down in the basement. Harry is a bossy asshole, but before long he and Ben are getting along like family.

Specifically, an Irish family during a wake.
A plan to take Ben's truck to the gas pump outside the house (that's a thing, right?) is formulated, and during its execution, zombies are run over, Ben shoots at the gas pump, and Tom manages to set the truck on fire with himself and Judy trapped inside. It explodes.

Who would have guess that using bullets to get the gas in the truck wouldn't work?
Ben is, naturally, feeling a bit upset about the fact that he is surrounded by idiots, and this leads to people getting shot and other people getting beat up, and, finally, the zombies getting into the house. He hides in a cabinet under the stairs until daylight, hoping that the zombies might be light-sensitive, like vampires or Olsen sisters.

After hiding out all night, he comes out from his hiding space and everything is all awesome and good and stuff.

Just kidding. He gets murdered to death. A lot. By Stacey Keach and
Michael Douglas, apparently.
Larry loves this zombie movie. He does, however, despise Harry Cooper with all his heart and soul, as any right-thinking person should. He also thinks Judy is his kind of woman! (Quiet, good with children, devoted to her man, unable to escape from a seatbelt or other restraints...)

Derek hates everybody in this movie except Ben. They're all just really, really terrible people. All of them. Even Karen, the Coopers' daughter, who was bitten by a zombie. She eats her dad! Stupid jerk kid...

Jake makes a brief appearance as Arnold Schwarzenegger, despite being nowhere near the recording session at the time.

There's also news in The Lobby, this weekend's releases in Coming Soon, Larry's List, the return of One Thing, and Derek and Larry have a go at creating their own zombie movie and mythos.

ADDED BONUS: They guys announce the show's very first Nemesis For Life!

So barricade the doors and windows, get out your shotgun, and tune in for some zombie goodness!