This week, the guys put on their most sleeveless of shirts, got greased up, and sat down to watch Sylvester Stallone's tribute to the brave men and women who look like men in the world of professional armwrestling, a world that, as best as their research was able to discover, does not, in fact, exist. But they weren't going to let that stop them!
|The bald guy has Angelina Jolie's lips growing out of his neck!|
|Submitted without comment.|
|And that's when things get dark...|
Mike starts out reacting as any right-thinking person would when confronted with spending three days in a confined space with Sylvester Stallone, which is to run away as quickly as possible. Hawk recaptures him, and forces him to armwrestle other kids so he can gamble on it, makes him drive a truck illegally despite only being 12-years-old, and causes him to miss seeing his mother one last time before she dies.
When Mike finally realizes what a straight-up douche canoe his father is, he does a runner, heading back to the comfort of his grandfather's money piles. When Hawk uses the most subtle and sensible way to get his son back that he can think of--by driving his truck through the front of Cutler's house--he gets arrested and thrown in the clink, not only jeapordizing whatever chances he may have with his son, but also his appearance at the armwrestling championships!
But wait! Hawk gets visited by Cutler's lawyer, a Gerry Anderson marrionette from Thunderbirds Are Go!, who offers to drop the charges if Hawk is willing to sign-off on Mike's guardianship. As armwrestling is obviously way more important than creating a lasting bond with your one and only child, Hawk agrees immediately, heads to Vegas, sells his truck (for betting money), and gets into the competition.
|Hawks! You'll never amount to anything, you pale bastard!|
Will Mike get there in time? Will Hawk win the armwrestling championship and the accompanying prize of a $250,000 truck? Could Robert Loggia get any more tan? Tune in to find out!
Larry is terribly disappointed to find out that this film doesn't hold up after all these years. He really loved it as a kid, and now...Well...Not so much. He thinks Mike is a giant puss.
Derek cannot get over how much Robert Loggia resembles a piece of beef jerky, that tanned sonofabitch. He also can't understand a word Stallone says, and he also thinks Mike is a whiney little punk. He is also shocked to discover that there was a line of Over The Top action figures!
|This was a thing!|
|There was even a playset!|
There's also a conversation about Prince in The Lobby, a few new flicks Coming Soon, the worst of 1987 in Larry's List, Jake-ing Off over some cool improv podcasts, and the rules of Guydom are discussed Inside My Head.
So turn your hat around, spray some fake sweat on, and pin down this week's show!