Do you remember the 80s? Remember when waxworks were the height of entertainment for rich people with no souls? Sure, who doesn't! Ands remember when the creepy British guy with the oily, stringy hair tried to murder you and make you a part of the exhibit when you visited the aforementioned waxwork? of course you do. And even if you don't, this movie will bring all those memories flooding back.
This week, Jake picked the 1988 cult classic, Waxwork, starring Zach Galligan and David Warner, who really should have known better.
Galligan plays Mark, a rich college student who likes to have a drink or two with the help (Joe Baker as Jenkins), has a terrible girlfriend (Michelle Johnson as China), a group of superficial friends who all appear to hate each other, and a mother (Jennifer Bassey) who refuses to let him drink caffeine. He also has a professor (Edward Ashley) whom all the guys are pretty sure is a Nazi war criminal in hiding.
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Thoroughly friendzoned, Mark goes to the police, where a hardened detective (Charles McCaughan) completely fails to buy into what sounds like a steaming pile of horse poop. However, he visits the waxworks with Mark to have a look around, just in case.
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Mark, meanwhile, is rooting through his family's attic with Sarah, searching for some sort of clues that his grandfather may have left concerning waxworks. (Because, really, who doesn't have volumes and volumes of personal diaries written by our late relatives about turn-of-the-18th-century sideshow attractions?) Sarah finds a book about the Marquis de Sade and gets a little too into it. Mark finds some old newspaper articles and decides that they, too, need to go back to the waxworks that night, but all sneaky-like.
That night, the detective comes back and is almost immediately shoved into an Egyptian display, where he is attacked by a mummy and dumped into a sarcophagus to die.
|Safe! Or are they?!|
(No. No, they're not.)
Will he escape and rescue Sarah before she is whipped, either to death or to orgasm? Will Mark be able to save anyone who comes after them? Will this movie ever stop happening? You'll have to tune in to find out...
Jake picked this, and even he isn't sure why. He thinks that, in the hands of a more competent director, this could have been a great movie. The jury is still out on that. He also has issues with the historical accuracy of the Marquis...There's a lot of important details missing from that one.
Derek thinks this is a stupid movie, and he's glad he didn't go on Twitter and tell Zach Galligan they were watching it. Zach doesn't need that kind of negativity in his life. The one scene Derek thinks works the best is the Night of the Living Dead scene. Why wasn't the rest of the movie like that?
Larry also feels this movie was a festering celluloid turd. He did, however, think some of the gore was well done. His belief that the werewolf was a good one is questioned by the others, but he stands by his convictions, no matter how incredibly wrong they may be.
So put on your most 80s clothes and check out this week's episode!