|DRINK IT IN, BABY!|
UH-OH...HANG ON...SOMETHIN'S HAPPENING...
|Uh...Gary? Gary, you okay, buddy? Gary...?|
It's been a pretty good week here, and on Twitter, where the crazy was in full force. Among other things, Miley Cyrus hosted the VMAs (which I avoided like the plague because MTV has not had anything to do with music or music videos in years, and even when they did, most of them were terrible), although I hear Kanye West announced he was running for president in 2020. And, for those who found that too high-minded and intellectual, Sarah Palin interviewed Donald Trump.
HEY, MAN! WHADDAYA THINK YOU'RE DOIN'?
Oh, hey, Gary. I was just telling people about what happened over on Twitter last we-
BACK OFF, FELLA. I GOT THIS. THIS AIN'T SHAKESPEARE WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT. OH...HOLD ON...IT'S HAPPENIN' AGAIN...
|Yeah, you just relax, Gary. I got this. Gary...?|
Anyway, there were funny tweets galore over there, so let's take a look at some, shall we? In no particular order...
I would hate to be a sanitation worker in Pound Town.— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) August 24, 2015
People ask me if I'm tired of being single. Damn right, I am. I have had it up to HERE with all the sexual variety and disposable income.— Bridget Alexa Jones (@TheWoodenslurpy) August 23, 2015
every mumbler knows that the secrhmm to survihmm' is nommin' hmm to thrmm hmm-ay and nommin' hmm to hmmeep— ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics) August 25, 2015
BOP IT TWIST IT PLEDGE YOUR ETERNAL ALLEGIANCE TO IT SACRIFICE VIRGINS TO IT OR YOUR SOUL WILL BE FORFEIT PULL IT SHOUT IT— Captain Antagonist (@AnOrangeSNES) August 25, 2015
*Enlarges prostate to ward off predators*— Piece (@Piecezilla) August 24, 2015
Just asked a lady friend to show me her boobs and she said "of course!" in case you men think peeing standing up is the best thing ever.— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 27, 2015
I peed in the ocean this morning. Think about that next time you eat seafood.— ❤Hello Stephanie❤ (@77StephanieG77) August 24, 2015
Watching Palin interview Trump feels like some weird alternate reality where the puppets from Genesis's Land of Confusion video won.— Jason Latour (@jasonlatour) August 29, 2015
"Debra, ready for your extreme home makeover?" - YES I AM "Fellas, MOVE THAT BUS" *bus pulls away* "See? WAY better without that bus there"— Eldge (@Sickayduh) June 26, 2014
my milkshake brings all the Borg to the yard, and they're like ASSIMILATE INTO THE COLLECTIVE - RESISTANCE IS FUTILE— huntigula (@huntigula) April 8, 2015
And there you have it! Pretty cool, yes? So now, get out there and have a good week. And to start it off...
HEY, MAN! I GOT THIS! BACK OFF!
I SAID BACK OFF. AND THE REST OF YOU: GO LOOK AT THIS HERE VIDEO, OR I'M GONNA EAT ALL YOUR HAIR!
Y'ALL GET OUT OF HERE NOW! I WANNA STARE AT A SQUIRREL! TELL 'EM GOODBYE, MAN!
Please don't leave...He's going to hurt me.
I NEVER TOLD YOU TO SAY THAT!
Gah! Quit poking me! Good-bye, everyone! And if you don't hear from me, it's because Gary Busey did something horrible to me!
NO I DIDN'T! GET OVER HERE!
All the best,
Derek and Bosco
AND GARY BUSEY, YA SUMBITCH!