Aside from that, it's also time for a pile of funny from the hilarious folks at Twitter.
Oh, sure, you could go and find some of your own (and I really think you probably oughta should), but if you're still feeling a little bit nervous about dipping a toe or two in the waters of insanity, allow me to give you a small, damp loofah of absurdity provided by the people that I happen to find amusing.
So let's get to it, shall we?
Our tests show ur son has Robert Downsey Jr Syndrome his whole life he'll have perfect facial hair & kind yet mischievous eyes, I'm so sorry— Ijustwantmykidsback (@TheVeryBestDad) August 27, 2014
HEY CALEB- YOUR COW IS INFERTILE AND YOUR SISTER LIKES DANCING. -Amish trash talk— Viktor Winetrout, Jr (@Cpin42) July 17, 2014
I would run Fraggle Rock with an iron fist— brian (@anerdonfire) September 16, 2014
Your book cover will never be this excellent. pic.twitter.com/OXGPdIUe3x— Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed) September 22, 2014
The word "crematorium" has no right sounding so delicious— Brian Cullen (@bucketcullen) September 23, 2014
"My other car is a vehicle with a bumper sticker describing this car."— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) September 24, 2014
this cow's frank and open sexuality is making me slightly uncomfy pic.twitter.com/OICHw3FSdr— Elizabeth S Olson (@white_lightning) September 25, 2014
[Gets on one knee] Margaret- [Pulls out ring] Will you- will you please hide this, Gollum won't stop following me.— Thynebear (@Thynebear) September 24, 2014
Yeah, but can you maintain an erection while watching old people eat coleslaw?— Bmad (@1_swarthy_dude) May 12, 2014
I could deal with child-abduction movies if they cut away early to John Waters, smoking extravagantly, saying "oh they're FINE"— James Lileks (@Lileks) September 27, 2014
And there you have it! Good times all around. As always, I hope you have the most absolutely awesome of weeks, and I'd like to give it a cheerful shove in that direction with an 8-bit version of The Matrix! Enjoy!
All the best,
Derek and Bosco