Just when we thought we had covered the most dumbass video game movies with Mortal Kombat and Super Mario Bros., Jake had to go ahead and find one that is, if not worse, most certainly equally stupid in the form of Street Fighter, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia (in his final role, which makes it even sadder), Ming-Na Wen, Kylie Minogue, and a whole bunch of people nobody would recognize if they passed them on the street.
|Go ahead...Identify anyone else in this picture. It can't be done!|
|Who, rumor has it, was baked out of his mind the whole shoot.|
|For the record: Guile's best friend in the whole world.|
When Guile discovers that Ken and Ryu aren't part of Sagat's people, he offers them a deal to infiltrate Bison's crew, and they accept. They stage a prison escape to gain favor with Sagat in order to get access to Bison. But they are being watched by a reporter named Chun-Li (Wen) and her crew, former sumo wrestler E. Honda (Peter Tuiasosopo) and former boxer Balrog (Grand L. Bush), whose careers Sagat had ruined before the movie started.
|Shown: NOT Ming-Na Wen as Chun-Li.|
Ryu and Ken break Honda and Balrog out of some sort of weird, Pulp Fiction-y, "Zed's dead" sort of captivity, and the four of them go to find Chun-Li and rescue her from having to hear Bison recite Shakespeare at her or some damn thing. But when they get to Bison's room, he is in the process of getting his ass handed to him by Chun-Li. He uses the distraction of the four of them interrupting to go hide in his panic room and he gasses them.
|In his excitement, Bison sort of got some in him eye.|
Derek thought that he would never see a dumber martial arts-based video game movie after Mortal Kombat. He was wrong. And he is seriously saddened by the knowledge that this was Raul Julia's final film. Nobody should have to go to their grave with Street Fighter as the last item in their resumé.
Larry liked it a little better than Derek, but only a little. He is also saddened by the Raul Julia thing, as well as how little Charlie was used in the movie, being as the character is so kick-ass in the original Street Fighter video game. (Not to be confused with the Street Fighter: The Movie video game, a video game based on a movie based on a video game.)
So put on your ridiculous costume, strike a stupid pose, and tune in to this week's episode!