June 30, 2014

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Everybody likes funny things! Sure, who doesn't? So why aren't you a part of Twitter yet? There's lots of hilariousness on there, AND YOU'RE MISSING OUT! Join. It's free and relatively painless. Don't make me come over there.

Anyway, it was another hilarious week, and I had to choose carefully, or we'd end up with another list of forty or fifty tweets, and nobody wins when that happens.

So, without further ado, let's see what's funny, shall we?

And there you have it! Good times!

Now, before I let you go for the week, let me just throw a couple things at your face and see what sticks, okay?

First, as this coming Friday is July 4th, I figure I should probably wish you a happy one now, so as to avoid being all late with it. So, happy 4th. Go blow stuff up...responsibly.

Second, Sausagefest is starting to come together. Still working on acts to be a part of it, so stay tuned for more details. And, if you find yourself in the Port Huron area for Labor Day weekend, let me know so you can come on by and see the show live! A good time will be had by all!

And, finally, I have another video clip for you. And, again, it's from the other podcast you should be listening to, aside from the Ugly Couchcast (and my newest podcast with Larry Sieczynksi and Jake Streeter, Here Be Spoilers), which is Wits. Sure, it's public radio, but this is the good kind. It's funny, and they have fun guests. In fact, here's a clip from a show that included David Cross and Har Mar Superstar:

See? What's not to enjoy? Check out the show. You'll love it.

Enjoy the rest of your week. And have a safe and happy July 4th!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

June 25, 2014

The Pilot Episode

This is the very first episode of a new weekly podcast I'm doing with a couple of friends, Larry Sieczynski and Jake Streeter, called Here Be Spoilers. And make no mistake, people: There WILL be spoilers in this show. So, if you haven't seen the movie and don't want us to ruin it for you, do not listen.
But, if you don't mind finding out a few funny things about some movies we've watched, by all means, have a blast. We did.

The first movie we decided to talk about was A Million Ways To Die in the West, Seth MacFarland's western comedy. (SPOILER: We loved it.) And while it's nice to do a new flick from time to time, we will more than likely just raid our collective movie collections and talk about those.

Anyway, here it is. We all hope you enjoy it!

All the best,
Derek Larry and Jake

June 22, 2014

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

It's that time again, kids!

Look...I keep bringing these tweets to you to show you just what it is you're missing by not being on Twitter. WHY HAVEN'T YOU SIGNED UP YET?! You could be showing me up by finding even funnier tweets than I've been digging up! You could display your superiority at grasping humor over me! Who wouldn't want that? So get over there and get an account. Trust me; you'll love it.

Anyway, it's been a funny week over there, and the choices were tough. But that's what I do. I make the tough choices.

Let's have a look at those choices, won't we?

And there you have it! We here at the Ugly Couchcast hope you all have an awesome week! And to get it started in the right direction, here's Christopher Walken dancing to a Fatboy Slim song.

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

June 15, 2014

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

It's Sunday, kids, so you know what that means!

But before I get started with the re-tweets, I want to take a moment to wish all of you dads out there a very happy Father's Day. Enjoy the day. Toss a critter of some kind on the grill. Watch a sportsball game on the television. Enjoy!

I also want to throw a special "Happy Father's Day" out to my own dad. He's a pretty groovy guy, despite not being a regular reader/listener here at The Ugly Couchcast.

"It's clear to me; your mother dropped you on your head." - Actual quote.
This guy worked his butt off, along with my mom, when I was a kid to make sure my brother and I could do all the cool activities we wanted to do, and I want him to know I really appreciate it. Thanks, dad!

Okay, enough of this touchy-feely shit.

As always I want to recommend you get on over to Twitter and join. There are hundreds of thousands of people on there that are at least as funny as the stuff I post on here, if not funnier. So come on over to the Dark Side and join us.

Also, while you're here, why not give a listen to the latest Ugly Couchcast podcast, featuring my buddy Jake Streeter. He makes his own action figures and uses the word "varmint" un-ironically.

And so, in no particular order...

And there you have it. I do, however, want to add an extra one because it seems that someone's a little bitter that he's not getting the attention he used to:

And so, I invite you all to have an awesome week! Let me give you a head start by showing you this inspiring video clip:

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

June 9, 2014

This Ain't Chinatown, Jake! (Extended Director's Cut)

Right-click and choose "Save link as..." to download!

Guest: Jake Streeter

Jake does his killer Ray Charles impersonation.
"Hey, momma, don't you do me wrong..."
(NOTE: This episode had so much funny stuff in it that I was reluctant to cut anything. As a result, it's over three hours long. Listen to it in chunks or all at once...But absolutely listen!)

Action figure mash-up artist Jake Streeter stops by the couch to talk about his creations (check 'em out on Instagram), the importance of Taco Bell when planning a project, what it takes for the NRA to turn their backs on a group of gun nuts (he says "varmint" a lot when he gets excited), some of his favorite episodes of The X-Files, video games, ripping into a ten-year-old while playing games online, and his kick-ass Jessie Ventura impression.

Derek, as usual, steers everything right off the rails by bringing up Robocop. The whole thing degenerates into ragging on all kinds of stupid films, why TMZ sucks, and an intriguing conversation about remaking every movie with Chris Tucker as the star. He also talks about his accidental trip to New Jersey and more tales of Dennis Roof.

They discuss fun words to say, a fascination with special FX, Worf the Klingon's forehead, and why Michael Chicklis was almost better than a Spandex-clad Jessica Alba in the Fantastic Four movies. (Hint: It wasn't because of his Spandex Speedo.) There's also endless mockery of Southerners!

June 8, 2014

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

All right, lovers of people who are funnier than me, it's that time again! I've exhaustively scoured my own Twitter timeline for tens of minutes to bring you the best of what I was able to find with as little effort as possible. Why do I go through so much for you, the eight or nine faithful readers who come here whenever you can remember that I have one of these blog thingies? Because I care. I actually even put on pants at one point! (Not, you know, right now or anything...)

Oh, sure, I could have gone the lazy route and just thrown in a bunch of my own tweets that I thought were funny. But I love you guys too much to subject you to that sort of silliness. (Besides, I'm pretty sure all of you follow me on Facebook anyway, so the odds are you already saw that stuff because I tend to cross-post a lot. That's not lazy; that's smart brand promotion. There's no such thing as bad publicity!)

Anyway, whatever the reason I do this (because I love you guys...Don't you ever listen to me?), it's time to get on with it because I have some editing to do for a podcast I hope to have up tonight.

As usual, let me suggest that you come on over to Twitter and join so you can find even more (and possibly better) funny all your own. Then you can start your own blog and use it to show just how out of touch with modern humor I am! You get to show your creativity, more Twitter people get attention they deserve, and I get some bonus promotion for myself! Everybody wins!

And on that note, let's do this!

And there you have it! Good stuff, as always.

Now, before I go, let me just throw this one last little tidbit at you: As I'm sure I've mentioned before, I'm no fan of Miley Cyrus. I didn't like her when she was "sweet, homegrown Disney girl Hannah Montana", and I don't like her now as "filthy, slutty, drugged-up coke whore Miley". When I first saw the video for "Wrecking Ball" (my first time hearing the song because I wanted to see what the big deal was), I came to two conclusions. Allow me, if I may, to share them with you.

  1. The more she shows of her body, the less I want to see the rest of it. She has no ass. She needs to accept it and move on with her life. That MTV thing was sad, more than anything. Put pants on, girl and try to regain a little dignity.

  2. The song itself really isn't that bad. Don't get me wrong, seeing her "perform" it makes me want to punch a wall. But the song itself, which I heard dozens of times on the radio at work after seeing the video, really isn't that bad. It's her. She's dreadful. Don't believe me? Check this out:

Surprised? I'm not. I made the same decision about Britney Spears when I heard Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa's cover of one of her songs.

So, the next time you hear some shitty bubblegum pop song from a former Disney skank, sit down and actually listen to it. Then find a better band that took the time to record a superior version and enjoy the heck out of it.

Have a great week!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

June 2, 2014

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

It's Sunday night again, kids, and you know what that means: Time to make with the Twitter funny!

I've got nothing else to add, other than to tell you that you really oughta go join up and get in on the vast wasteland of wackiness that is Twitter.

And so, in no particular order, let's get this party rolling!

And there you have it, True Believers! (Sorry...Watching Spider-man...)

But before I go, I wanted to let you all know that big things are afoot for this year's Sausagefest! Stay tuned for details in upcoming shows and posts! Until then, have a great week!

Here's a little something to send you off on a good note. It's an animated video called "We Sell Your Crap" that I made with my kids a while back. Enjoy!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco