May 26, 2014

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Another week, another batch of people who are way funnier than I am!

Before I start, though, I just wanted to wish all of you a happy Memorial Day. Have fun, cook out, enjoy yourselves, but watch out for sunburn!

And now, on with the silly! And remember: If you think these people are funny, you ought to check them out on Twitter, as well as millions of others who will make you laugh until you snort out your major organs!
And there you have it! Enjoy the rest of your week! But before you go, enjoy this awesome video clip from one of my own favorite radio show/podcasts, Wits!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

May 18, 2014

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

It's SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! And you all know what that means, folks: It's time for some delicious Twitter goodness!

The funny was in high gear this week, what with #OperationAmericanSpring, #GodzillaProblems, and so many other hilarious hashtags. (Many of which, I feel I can say with no small amount of modesty, I did pretty darn well at.) But we're not here for those. If you want to see those, by all means, go ahead and search for them on Twitter. And, as always, if you're not on Twitter, JOIN! It's good times, and you'll meet some of the weirdest people planet Earth has to offer. (But it's the good kind of weird...mostly...)

And so, without further ado, and in no particular order...

And there you have it! But before I go, I wanted to throw another fun video your way. I'm sure a lot of you have already seen it, but for those of you who haven't, you should watch it. Then go to Bad Lip Reading and check out the other hilarious videos there.

Enjoy your week!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

May 14, 2014

Questions, Questions, Question!

According to this blog by Kris Silva, I'm supposed to answer some questions about my writing...The problem, of course, is that I really don't consider myself a writer. Certainly not on the scale and talent level of Kris herself, or the other people she has asked, or was asked by, to do this. They write books, for Bob's sake. I write snarky little posts about movies and then throw in a few .GIFs of religious leaders mining for nose goblins.
I'm sorry, but it just doesn't stop being funny.
See? So how did I manage to get included in a list of fine authors like Sue London, Troy Blackford, Sabrina Zbasnik, Rick Gualtieri? I think the answer is obvious:

I'm someone's friend.

You see, I met Kris a while back on Twitter, and we chatted a bit about writing. I explained that I mostly wrote humor pieces about movies and my own personal life. Occasionally, I would try my hand at comedic fiction, some good and some bad. I also wrote two novellas for NaNoWriMo (link is currently down). One was called Being Kermit the Frog, which was about a man who survives an explosion in a toy factory that makes Muppet toys, only to come out of a coma believing he is Jim Henson. The other is called The (Other) Book of John, which is about a young atheist who, upon reaching the age of twenty-one, finds out he's God. Heady stuff, I know, but I never considered writing for a living. I do it mostly because it amuses me. I also write dick jokes. Lots of dick jokes.

Kris, on the other hand, writes steampunk fantasy novels, Muppet erotica (apparently, that's a thing), and is currently working on a horror-comedy called Wendigogo. She edits others' manuscripts. She makes the actual effort to get published. (And she will be...Mark my words.)

Again, I write dick jokes.

But she considers me a writer, so I have little choice but to answer these questions she has submitted. So let's do this!

1. What am I working on?

Currently, I'm not doing a lot of writing, aside from these blog posts. I'm also slowly putting together a commentary script riffing the movie Twister. My friend Larry Sieczynski and I wrote one for the classic horror flick Evil Dead 2 for Halloween last year, and we quite enjoyed it, as did the people who were kind enough to download it and give it a listen.
What he said.
I also write the occasional song and beg a DJ friend to play them on her show, which she kindly does.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?

I dunno...It's not as funny as other, better writers in my genre? Also, my "contemporaries" (or, as someone less kind might point out, my "betters") probably wear some form of pants more often than I do while writing. And they don't use their dog as their editor. Except maybe Garrison Keillor.
He also spends a lot of his time being alcoholic Daniel Radcliffe...OF THE FUTURE!
In all seriousness, I like to think I'm a bit quicker with a comeback than most, which is a product of my childhood; my family is full of sarcastic, funny people, so you really have to step up your game with them if you want to be a part of the fun. I also have a pretty solid grip on pop culture, so I can dig deep in there to pull out something odd or goofy that not everybody is going to think of right away.

3. Why do I write what I do?

Honestly, because humor is a wonderful thing, and because I suck at being serious. It's incredibly obvious in the few serious bits of the novellas I wrote. They come off as stilted and unconvincing to me. Therefore, I stick with things that make me laugh, and, hopefully, others will also get the joke.

Also, I have a fascination with the absurdities of life, and I think people relate to those things, even though they might not have personally experienced them. For instance, I wrote a piece a long time ago called "Young Derek and the Suicide Fish". It's about my first fishing experience, where I hooked a bluegill four different times within a twenty minute period. Each time I reeled it in, my mother would look at it, say it was too small and throw it back, only to have it latch onto my hook again. This was either the dumbest fish in the world, or it had just had enough of swimming around and doing whatever the hell it is that fish do and decided to end it all. Either way, I still find it funny thirty-five-plus years later.
"My gills aren't even blue! My life is a lie! Oh, how I crave Death's sweet release!"
Things like that just resonate with me, and, I'd like to think, others.

4. How does my writing process work?

Well, mostly it involves me bitching about how I really ought to get something written on this here blog thingie. Then I sit down and stare at my computer screen a lot. Next, I find some music to listen to while I write. This step is vitally important, not to mention time-consuming. (I have a lot of music to choose from.)

Three hours later, I come up with a title, which I will immediately scrap after writing the first two sentences of the actual piece because it ended up going in an entirely different direction than I expected it to. This happens more often than you might think because I tend not to do outlines for anything. Therefore, when something happens in a fictional piece I'm writing, I'm as surprised as anyone who reads it.

One thing I do, however, is research. Admittedly, it's very half-assed and mostly involves finding a funny picture that is, at best, marginally related to the subject, and then coming up with a caption that will tie it in with the piece.
Research also helps with writer's block.
(See? It works!)
When I'm writing a "slice-of-life" piece, I write it as if the reader is sitting in front of me and I'm telling it to them. This, I think, gives it an organic feel and a particular voice that runs through everything I write. Hopefully, the reader feels the same way.

Bloghop RSVP

Apparently, what I'm supposed to do now is connect this blog to a few others that will, in turn, write a similar (but more interesting) post about their own writing. I don't have four that I know well enough to ask this of them (aside from the ones who have already done it), so I'm just going to pick one:

David P. Maurer - Author, blogger of the political and general stuff, trivia buff, and occasional goatee-haver.
Also: Part-time Dante Hicks from Clerks impersonator.
I know Dave personally, and I can happily recommend any of his writing and music. He's also got a great sense of humor and is a genuinely nice guy, too! How about it, Dave?

There. Are you happy now, Kris? Jeez...

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

May 11, 2014

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week (Birthday/Mother's Day Edition)

Okay, let's get this right out of the way so I don't get a whole bunch of questions about it: It's called the "Birthday/Mother's Day Edition" because it's my birthday weekend and today is Mother's Day. That's all. There's nothing birthday or Mother's Day-related about these tweets. Got it? Good. We still cool, bro?

Anyway, it's Sunday, so it's time for me to pull some of the funny tweets that made me laugh on Twitter this past week. And, as usual, I want to suggest that, if you find these folks funny, follow them! Most of these aren't one-time things! And if yo're not already a Twitter-monkey, become one! There's even more funny out there these! It's win-win for everybody!

And, finally, before I get started, I want to wish all of you awesome moms out there a super-wonderful Mother's Day. Without you, this planet would be a total sausagefest.

So, let's get started, won't we? In no particular order...

And there you have it! Have an awesome week!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco

May 4, 2014

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

It's Sunday, so that means one thing, kids!

No, no, no. You're supposed to hose down the sex dungeon on Thursday afternoon to make sure it's ready for the weekend. It's clearly printed on the chart that's hanging on the fridge. Seriously, why did I even put it there if nobody's going to...You know what? Forget it. I'll just have the gimp do it.

Anyway, it's time for me to exploit some of the funniest people on Twitter that I've re-tweeted in the past week in order to get attention without doing any real work! And, once again, let me say that if you think these folks are funny, FOLLOW THEM. There's plenty more funny over there, and these folks deserve the attention.

And now, without any further effort ado, in no particular order...

There you have it! And, before I sign off, I want to throw this out at you, because it made me laugh a lot, and what better way to start your week?

Have an awesome week!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco