Before I start, though, I just wanted to wish all of you a happy Memorial Day. Have fun, cook out, enjoy yourselves, but watch out for sunburn!
And now, on with the silly! And remember: If you think these people are funny, you ought to check them out on Twitter, as well as millions of others who will make you laugh until you snort out your major organs!
Slowly, Waldo's wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
— donni (@donni) August 1, 2013
"Stop showing your butthole to your sister" seems like something that I should never have to say.
— Sara (@smilely_gal) November 26, 2012
THANK YOU Central for my awesome email address and username...... Like really😒 pic.twitter.com/G6ab4Ikoik
— Megan Finger (@meganfinger) March 14, 2014
Whoever named the platypus should name everything.
— Jewpac Shakur (@jewfacekilla) May 18, 2014
Think I may have used too much ancient sea salt in this spaghetti. It just floated off my plate hissing, "There is no food, only Zuul!"
— Nathan Buckley (@duplicitron) June 30, 2012
X-Men: Days of Future Past X-Men: Nights of Today's Yesterday X-Men: Mornings of Foregone Fortnights X-Men: Out of Ideas - Just Claws-n-Shit
— Growly Grego (@GrowlyGrego) May 10, 2014
"As for weather on the east coast-" *Don draws a dick on the map* The anchors laugh. Don is fired. In 36 hours a dickstorm levels Baltimore
— damn fine hat (@BromanConsul) August 26, 2013
batman: "i need a mask, to hide my identity" superman: "and we should all wear capes" robin: "and panties on the outside!!"
— Kelgore Trout (@KelgoreTrout) April 26, 2014
Is it true that women use their breasts to smother their prey before consuming it with their vaginas?
— Shkeeber (@shkeeber) May 23, 2014
I wrote a nostalgic Hollywood screenplay about growing up in the 80's and 90's. It's just two hours of scrambled soft-core porn.And there you have it! Enjoy the rest of your week! But before you go, enjoy this awesome video clip from one of my own favorite radio show/podcasts, Wits!
— Terry F (@daemonic3) May 24, 2014
All the best,
Derek and Bosco