The funny was in high gear this week, what with #OperationAmericanSpring, #GodzillaProblems, and so many other hilarious hashtags. (Many of which, I feel I can say with no small amount of modesty, I did pretty darn well at.) But we're not here for those. If you want to see those, by all means, go ahead and search for them on Twitter. And, as always, if you're not on Twitter, JOIN! It's good times, and you'll meet some of the weirdest people planet Earth has to offer. (But it's the good kind of weird...mostly...)
And so, without further ado, and in no particular order...
Unless the answer is "Batman", I really don't care who you ran into at Costco last week, Phil.— Blank. (@sarcasm_inc) September 6, 2013
Bob Marley had posters of spoiled white kids all over his hut— Jason Lastname (@JasonLastname) May 13, 2014
The way most Americans disdain the poor you would think they did something REALLY terrible like beat their sports team.— Bobcat Goldthwait (@bcgoldthwait) May 13, 2014
Allow me to slip into something more comfortable. *hides in pillow fort*— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) May 13, 2014
Give a man a fish & he'll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.— Naïve American (@Nahdude83) January 23, 2014
Drank too much Red Bull and puked in some bushes, now three of them are breakdancing and one is taking me hang gliding next weekend.— Jerm Himselfish (@JermHimselfish) May 14, 2014
Dr: Ok let's take your temperature Me:*bends over* Dr:Oral Me: Yes please— Oh, THAT Duchess... (@THEDUTHCHESS) March 28, 2013
Ad man: "So theres these red and blue cartoon bears who get bits of toilet paper stuck to their assholes all the time" Charmin: "Go on..."— Maggie Mull (@IAmMaggieMull) May 14, 2014
Just threw a piece of gum out of my car window and caused a smart car to crash.— Dakota (@One_FineMess) May 3, 2014
Starbucks job interview: "What's your name?" "Alyssa" "Spell that please" "L A R I S S A" "When can you start?"— Monte (@KimMonte10) April 29, 2014
And there you have it! But before I go, I wanted to throw another fun video your way. I'm sure a lot of you have already seen it, but for those of you who haven't, you should watch it. Then go to Bad Lip Reading and check out the other hilarious videos there.
Enjoy your week!
All the best,
Derek and Bosco