No, no, no. You're supposed to hose down the sex dungeon on Thursday afternoon to make sure it's ready for the weekend. It's clearly printed on the chart that's hanging on the fridge. Seriously, why did I even put it there if nobody's going to...You know what? Forget it. I'll just have the gimp do it.
Anyway, it's time for me to exploit some of the funniest people on Twitter that I've re-tweeted in the past week in order to get attention without doing any real work! And, once again, let me say that if you think these folks are funny, FOLLOW THEM. There's plenty more funny over there, and these folks deserve the attention.
And now, without any further
"Unleash the corgis!" I cry. As my corgi army descends the hill, the enemy begins to flee, overwhelmed by the sheer cuddliness of its foe.
— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) April 25, 2014
In retrospect, calling my failed Gentlemen's Club "The G-Spot" was a horrible business idea since no guys could find it.
— Terry F (@daemonic3) April 23, 2014
when i feel sad, i think of a giraffe in a turtle neck sweater. haha such a long turtle neck.
— timmy pumpkin (@TimmyPumpkin) March 11, 2014
My sister has a great career and lives in Hawaii. I peed in a Gatorade bottle last night because I was too lazy to get up.
— Cruz! (@nPhelendriqal) April 14, 2014
There’s a McDonald’s in this Walmart. And in that McDonald’s there’s a Starbucks. And in that Starbucks there’s a Walmart. And in that Walma
— Bill Mc7 (@BillMc7) April 27, 2014
Excuse me sir, but your goatee looks a little rapey.
— Root Beer (@MrNickJC) April 30, 2014
Sweetheart go draw on your fancy eyebrows, it's payday & I'm taking you to the Garden of Olives.
— That Mothafucka (@Sal0630) April 30, 2014
is nobodey else concerned that 'charlottes web' ends w/ the birth of generations upon generations of hyper-inteligent sentient spider babies
— jomny sun (@jonnysun) May 1, 2014
I don't think there's any way to accurately describe The Fox & The Hound without using the term "psychosexual thriller."
— Lazer Cat (@Laser_Cat) April 28, 2014
I keep asking myself...What if the hokey-pokey really IS what it's all about?
— kerin cook (@kerindoesntcook) May 3, 2014
There you have it! And, before I sign off, I want to throw this out at you, because it made me laugh a lot, and what better way to start your week?
This made me laugh sooo much! Kids imagine Star Wars, adults act it out - genius http://t.co/rNqT3nls2m— Pip (@pippapip) April 27, 2014
Have an awesome week!
All the best,
Derek and Bosco