Night of the Living Dead (1968)

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(Unfortunately, the guys had to start with a short roster this week. Jake couldn't make it because he was sick, so Larry and Derek had to do the show as a duo. We'll return to our regularly-scheduled hosts next week. Also of note: The word "zombie" is never used in this zombie movie. We have made up for this error by using the word "zombie" as many times as possible while writing about this zombie movie.)

As Halloween is this month, the guys decided that they needed a theme. And that theme is Month of the Living Dead, so they're watching the first four movies in George A. Romero's library of zombie films!

Formal attire is clearly not required.

This week, the guys watched Night of the Living Dead, the first in the series. It's the story of Barbara, a soul-crushingly bland woman who only wishes to visit her father's grave without having her brains consumed by a crowd of reanimated dead people.

Unfortunately, it appears that she chose to do it on Opposite Day, because after her brother, a colossal jerk named Johnny who looks like he runs a novelty shop...

Johnny models the new Crazy Eyes Glas...What? Those are his actual eyes?

Disregard.

...bitches and complains about having to make the trip on a Sunday, they are attacked by a zombie. Johnny is killed with exactly the amount of dignity he deserves, and Barbara runs away.

After a brisk jog (during which she manages to fall down at least twice and lose both of her shoes), Barbara finds an old house in which to take refuge until the creepy old dude sees a squirrel and wanders away.

She's emoting so hard right now!

Once inside, she finds Ben, the smartest person in this whole damn movie.

After ten minutes with Barbara, he decides the zombies aren't moving fast
enough and takes matters into his own hands.

Ben is barricading the house to keep the zombies out, and he enlists Barbara to help. She would have been more helpful if he had just nailed her across one of the windows.

Once the house is deemed sufficiently safe, a bunch of people come wandering up from the basement. There's Tom and Judy, as well as Harry Cooper and his wife, The Helen Cooper. Their daughter, Karen, stays down in the basement. Harry is a bossy asshole, but before long he and Ben are getting along like family.

Specifically, an Irish family during a wake.

A plan to take Ben's truck to the gas pump outside the house (that's a thing, right?) is formulated, and during its execution, zombies are run over, Ben shoots at the gas pump, and Tom manages to set the truck on fire with himself and Judy trapped inside. It explodes.

Who would have guess that using bullets to get the gas in the truck wouldn't work?

Ben is, naturally, feeling a bit upset about the fact that he is surrounded by idiots, and this leads to people getting shot and other people getting beat up, and, finally, the zombies getting into the house. He hides in a cabinet under the stairs until daylight, hoping that the zombies might be light-sensitive, like vampires or Olsen sisters.

After hiding out all night, he comes out from his hiding space and everything is all awesome and good and stuff.

Just kidding. He gets murdered to death. A lot. By Stacey Keach and
Michael Douglas, apparently.

Larry loves this zombie movie. He does, however, despise Harry Cooper with all his heart and soul, as any right-thinking person should. He also thinks Judy is his kind of woman! (Quiet, good with children, devoted to her man, unable to escape from a seatbelt or other restraints...)

Derek hates everybody in this movie except Ben. They're all just really, really terrible people. All of them. Even Karen, the Coopers' daughter, who was bitten by a zombie. She eats her dad! Stupid jerk kid...

Jake makes a brief appearance as Arnold Schwarzenegger, despite being nowhere near the recording session at the time.

There's also news in The Lobby, this weekend's releases in Coming Soon, Larry's List, the return of One Thing, and Derek and Larry have a go at creating their own zombie movie and mythos.

ADDED BONUS: They guys announce the show's very first Nemesis For Life!

So barricade the doors and windows, get out your shotgun, and tune in for some zombie goodness!