March 20, 2017

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, guys!

Before we get started, I just wanted to let you all know that there will not be a list next week. I want to take a week off from doing it to do some stuff on this page that needed to happen a while but but never did, and also to do some stuff out in the real world, too.


Anyway, this week has been a heck of a ride for Angry Orange, and I've brought in "Macho Man" Randy Savage to provide animated commentary.

Let's start from the beginning, won't we?

Two weeks ago, Angry Orange flew a rage because a magical fairy in his dream (i.e., "somebody on Fox News") told him that President Obama had wiretapped Trump Tower, so he did what any reasonable person responsible for the safety of the free world would do: He went on Twitter and accused the former president of a felonious act without any proof at all whatsoever.

Needless to say, the rest of the world was shocked. President Obama possibly most of all. Angry Orange's team of mouthpieces, however, jumped right out there and defended their boss and his crazy word-sayings by insisting on all sorts of crazy shit. Top of the "Pants-Crapping INsane" list goes to angry bag of hairless cats, Kellyanne Conway, who suggested that anything could be turned into a surveillance device. A microwave, for instance.

Naturally, Twitter had some stuff to say about that.

But wait! It gets better!

CIA Director Savage explains how it's done.
Things got serious really, really quickly, and letters flew back and forth between Congress, the FBI, the various other divisions of the Intelligence Community, and the White House, evidence was demanded, promised, and never delivered, and hearings were scheduled. All the while, the White House Gang insisted it was all true, except that what Angry Orange meant was entirely different from what he actually said. "When he said 'wiretapped'," they insisted, "what he really meant was that something pretty sketchy was being done on by somebody." (I'm paraphrasing.) But who?

Well, the hearings started today and, as I write this, every single news site I have visited is pointing out that FBI director James Comey (you may remember him as the guy who torpedoed Hilary Clinton with a bullshit letter about a continuing investigation into her use of a private email server because Anthony Weiner's wife had a laptop that contained a few emails--which the FBI had already seen--from Clinton) said, quite simply, that there was no evidence whatsoever that Obama had ordered a wiretap and, more interestingly, even if he had wanted one, the president cannot order it.

Hey, Randy...Is this batshit crazy enough for you yet?
This is from one of White House spokestoddler Sean Spicer's press conferences. To be honest, I have no idea if it has anything to do with any of the above because I'm mesmerized by his tie.

I watched it for twenty minutes when I first saw it, and at least once each day since. Still have no idea what it's about.

And I'm sure Randy would have loved it.
Other stuff of interest:

Daylight Savings returned with a vengeance last Sunday, affecting anybody who had to wake up early on Sunday morning (such as myself), and it sucked. I was stumbling around like a zombie the whole day. Fortunately, I had two days off right after that, so it didn't take long to readjust.

Not everyone had the same experience, though...

But, all in all, we survived.

As for myself, I spent some time with Ugly Couchcast CEO Bosco...

I came to a stunning realization...

And was possibly, or possibly not, "dissed", as the kids say these days...

But I also discovered long lost music...

So, all-in-all, it wasn't a terrible week for me.

Something to consider.
And there were Tweets! So many great tweets! And, believe it or not, not every one of them was political, although there were some really funny ones. But those are for the beginning of this post. Right now, it's time for some straight-up funny stuff from Twitter! So let's do this!

And there you have it! Now go have an awesome week, darn it! And to get you in the proper mood, here's Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan all coked-up (allegedly) and giving an interview!

Drop the tiny coffee creamer to let us end this, Randy.

That will do nicely.
All the best,
Derek and Bosco