Re-View: The Blob

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Jake couldn't make it to the recording this time around because of work stuff, but that's okay because the guys were re-watching 1958's The Blob for Larry's benefit. Whether he actually did benefit from it is up for debate, as he did not seem especially impressed with the story of Steve (played by a young Steven McQueen) and his deep, abiding love for a murderous lump of phlegm from outer space. Joining Steve in this whirlwind romance are Aneta Corseaut as Jane, Earl Rowe as Lt. Dave, Stephen Chase as Dr. Hallen, John Benson as Sgt. Jim (a bitter veteran and police officer), and a whole bunch of has-beens and never-wases! (You can hear the original podcast here!)

When a meteor falls to Earth, a weird old man who lives in the woods (Olin Howlin) abandons his small dog to go poke the meteor with a stick. It seems the meteor is just a hard candy shell for the flesh-eating nougat within, much like a Cadbury Creme Egg, which also wants to kill you, but with diabetes. Young Steve and his girlfriend Jane see the meteor go down and head out to find it. Instead, they find the end result--the weird old man with his arm encased in murder snot. They put him in Steve's car and take him to Dr. Hallen, who looks at the goo and frowns a lot.

Gross.

Steve and Jane, meanwhile, meet up with Steve's hoodlum friends to race cars backwards, only to get busted by Officer Dave, the sensible cop. Dave lets them off with a warning after Steve jabbers incoherently at him for a little bit. Realizing they are unstoppable, Steve and the gang decide to investigate the old man's cabin by breaking in and stealing his dog, and checking out the site where the meteor landed.

Must...not...laugh...

At the same time, Dr. Hallen discovers that the goo monster has completely consumed the old man, so he calls for a nurse, just in case the goo is still hungry. She arrives and freaks out, so Dr. Hallen throws some stuff at the goo and tries to shoot it, which is about as effective as trying to pick up a sleeping cat. The goop attacks Dr. Hallen, just in time for Steve and Jane to arrive to check on the old man, and Steve sees Dr. Hallen being eaten. When Jane comes to look, the dog--clearly the smartest member of the cast--runs away.

But I hate cranberry sauce!

Steve and Jane decide to go to the police. (About Dr. Hallen being eaten; the dog will have to wait.) They are met by Sgt. Jim, who hates all teenagers because he thinks they all resent his war record. He isn't impressed by their story of murder snot, but Officer Dave steps in and offers to go take a look at Dr. Hallen's house, much to Sgt. Jim's disappointment. What they find is a mostly undisturbed and unoccupied house. They do find Dr. Hallen's rifle, which has recently been fired, but that's not enough to impress them, so they blow off the whole thing after speaking to Dr. Hallen's maid, who tells them that he is out of town all weekend for a conference.

Steve and Jane go on their way and accidentally find the dog cowering at the local grocery store. As they get it, they realize they store is still unlocked, despite being well past closing time. So, in the way of teenagers everywhere in movies (even 30-year-old teenagers like these), they go inside to see what's up. They find nobody inside, but after knocking over a bunch of stuff (causing Jane to drop the dog, which runs away again), they notice the hate-phlegm oozing toward them and run into the meat locker, only to discover that it won't follow them in there.

You're gonna wanna go up your ass and to the left to get away.

After what they deem a safe amount of time, they leave the cooler and go find their friends, all of whom are at the movies, and ask them to help get the rest of the town's attention so they can warn everyone about the booger creature. Always up for causing some mayhem, their buddies agree and leave, just in time to avoid being attacked by the evil loogie, unlike everyone else in the theater.

The cops show up and check out the grocery store, but Sgt. Jim doesn't find anything and threatens to arrest everybody. Before he can, however, the crowd from the theater comes running out and into the streets because the goop is chasing them. In the confusion, Jane's little brother, who should have been in bed a long time ago, appears out of nowhere and tries to shoot the monster with his cap gun. When that doesn't work, the little bastard runs into a nearby diner to observe the carnage to come. Steve and Jane follow him in there, just in time for the diner to be covered by the angry gelatin monster.

Murder craisin! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Will they survive? Or will they be consumed slowly, in what could possibly be the grossest way possible? And what about the cops? Will they finally realize Steve and the gang weren't lying? Will Sgt. Jim come to understand that his perception of the kids' disrespect for him is nothing more than the manifestation of his own insecurities? Or will he finally snap and go on a killing spree, the likes of which the small town has never seen before or since? Also, where the heck is the dog? And is he an accomplice to the murder goo?

You'll have to tune in to find out!

Larry did not care for this movie because all the teenagers looked the same age as the adults. Also, he was worried about the little doggie. His biggest problem, however, was that he felt there was "too much story." That's one he'll have to explain himself.

Derek liked it the first time, and he still does. He has learned to appreciate the natural feel of the dialogue, and he also spent most of the movie hoping Sgt. Jim would snap and possibly pistol-whip Steve and his friends. He, too, is worried about the little doggie, but suspects it was up to something nefarious.

So stock up on Kleenex and Mucinex, fire up that Neti Pot, and listen this week's episode!