There's your problem... |
I couldn't find that picture, so here's Peter Dinklage with a mullet and a laser cannon. |
the guy code is real and it lets you into a secret shed in the woods where you can sex a towel wrapped in a rubber glove. the shed has cable
— Churlish (@Cryptoterra) October 7, 2014
Pumpkin spice Ebola. Now you don’t know how to feel, do you?
— V (@VioletThunk) October 7, 2014
One of my Snapchat leaked nudes. NSFW. pic.twitter.com/Hx5m3IgHbf
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) October 11, 2014
I've done so many kegels, I can uncork a wine bottle.
— Sassafrantz (@Sassafrantz) June 12, 2014
True: I worked 2 yrs. at a collection agency. Sometimes you'd ring the number of a debtor and the phone would ring at the next cubicle.
— Michael J Nelson (@michaeljnelson) October 9, 2014
*The delivery guy and I lock eyes as the CD of people talking skips in the background. I lower my head* "All of those pizzas are for me."
— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) August 18, 2014
1) Go to Starbucks
2) Order coffee
3) Say your name is Waldo
4) Leave
— Miss Leah (@LeahsLounge) October 8, 2014
If I was ever on that show Shark Tank, I’d just stand there doing a dick helicopter until they gave me $10k to stop.
— Weird Rash (@Weird_Rash) October 8, 2014
Kylie Jenner is 17... And drives a Bentley...
Ugh... I wish my older sister was a whore
— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) October 10, 2014
"It is a natural part of my body so yes, you must look at my butthole." -- all cats; some people
— Bill Corbett (@BillCorbett) October 12, 2014
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