I know what I said at the end of last year about everyone being a lot less murder-y seemed like it might me a tough one to do, but I'm happy to report that this has actually been moving in a positive direction. That's great. Let's keep at it and see if we can continue that trend.
However.
Perhaps it's the way I worded it, or maybe there were some crossed wires in there somewhere, but it seems that the lack of murdery-ness has been replaced with taking some amazingly talented and legendary actors and musicians this year, and I'm hoping that you guys can put the same effort into seeing that this stops, if that's not too much to ask.
Dear UK, please stop killing off your extreme amazing talent and why don't you take Coldplay instead for your sacrifices?
— Beatriz (@wittwitbarista) January 14, 2016First David Bowie, now Alan Rickman. If any more beloved Brits die this year I'm going to suspect George R. R. Martin.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) January 14, 2016I mean, Lemmy Kilmeister, David Bowie, Alan Rickman (that one really hurt), Dan Haggerty...All over the course of one freaking week! At the very least, could we spread it around a bit to make it not such a shock?
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| Yeah, if you could just do that, that'd be great... |
Anyway, it's been a week. There was another Republican debate. I don't know what happened, and I really don't care. All's I want to see from those guys is one final no-holds-barred cage match where everyone gets in there and throws down until there's only one left. Problem solved.
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| And then...NACHOS FOR EVERYBODY! |
#SOTU when Obama roasted all of Congress pic.twitter.com/AVeFJM621p
— Jermaine Warren (@iamjermainew) January 13, 2016Well, his people did say it was going to be different from the norm. Nobody was expecting a comedy roast, though.
And, of course, there were tweets. Lots and lots of tweets coming from the fine, funny folks at Twitter. By an amazing coincidence, I happened to grab a small pile of them to stick in your eyes, so what say we take a look at 'em, shall we?
In no particular order...
NOT okay. pic.twitter.com/c1tq4LHfmy
— WAG (@dwaghalter) January 10, 2016My favorite restaurant is Red Lobster because you can fart as much as you want and no one notices.
— Danny Charnley (@DanKCharnley) January 7, 2016The Eagles just sound like a big, soft blond mustache.
— Andrew Rein (@andrew_rein) June 18, 2015The Inuit have over 200 words that mean both "crisis" and "opportunity," or as they call it, "maize."
— Matt Crowley (@MatthewPCrowley) January 4, 2016I was once given two meths, I didn't even do them, they touched my hand now I'm in guam with half a shirt and my sock is rolling up my shoe
— That Rascal, Puff (@ThatRascalPuff) January 11, 2016The kids begged me for Aleister Crowley for xmas but now guess who's been stuck scrubbing all his sigils and orgy stains out of the carpet.
— Molly Manglewood (@undeadmolly) January 13, 2016WIFE: You said you were going to put the dog down
ME: *in tears* I TRIED BUT HE HAD SOME REALLY DEVASTATING COMEBACKS
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) January 8, 2016"Ma'am, your breast..."
"Say 'bosom.' It's classier."
"Ma'am, your bosom is in your soup."
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) January 14, 2016Seriously, if you're at the undercard debate, why say the same things as the winning guys? Why not promise everybody a hoverboard?
— Peter Sagal (@petersagal) January 14, 2016Like Grandma always used to say "where the fuck are those bagpipes coming from?"
— Devon Hunt (@Rikidus) January 13, 2016And there you have it! now get out there and have an awesome week! And to get it started, here's an SNL sketch featuring Adam Driver as his Kylo Ren character from Star Wars: The Force Awakens, appearing on Undercover Boss: Starkiller Base.
All the best,
Derek and Bosco
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