Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, guys!

Well, here we are...2016. Turns out 2015 let us down, if Back to the Future II was our measuring stick. No hoverboards, no time traveling DeLoreans, and no flying cars. Reality sucks. The closest thing we got to anything from Back to the Future II was Donald Trump as a very realistic Biff Tannen simulacrum.

Oh, hi, 2015! What are you doing h--...WHY?!?

There were too many horrible things to list that happened last year, not the least of which was this:

Most Horrifying Memory Of 2015 You Will Carry Into The New Year Is The Today Show Cast Dressed As Peanuts Characters pic.twitter.com/FEkevkTRyV

— leon (@leyawn) December 31, 2015

And how did we start out the new year? Lemmy Kilmeister died. A bunch of assholes with guns took over a nature center in Oregon. Donald Trump didn't turn into a pumpkin at midnight on December 31st. Again, reality sucks.

Happy New Year!

Myself, I started the new year by learning things I didn't want to know...

Ran over a mouse with my bike on my way home tonight. It was every bit as traumatic as running over a cat or dog with a car.

— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) December 31, 2015

And finding new things I wanted to hear more about...

I keep seeing this ad and wondering what it's made of and if it comes in green... pic.twitter.com/f6px6EgTcf

— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) December 31, 2015

Overall, it's been a weird year already. Add tot his the fact that my girlfriend Tonya's cat, Jack, passed away last night. She'd had him for about 13 years, and she was there when he passed. He was a good cat, and I suspect that he thought he was a dog, which is why he and I got along so well. He'll be missed.

And, of course, there were tweets. So many tweets. In fact, I happen to have a list of them that I thought I might throw at your face!

No, dammit! Your face!

And, as always, if you dig what you read, by all means, come and join us over on the Twitter machine!

Now, in no particular order...

I'm not feeling well. Pinterest: Hot tea and aromatherapy. Facebook: We'll pray for you. Twitter: Rub one out, can't make it any worse!

— That Girl (@myonlymizztake) September 3, 2015

Just looked up from my phone & realized I've been giving fan boat tours of the Everglades for God only knows how long.

— Brandon (@UNTRESOR) December 29, 2015

Steven Tyler's mic stand has so many scarves on it that I always thought he was just screaming at Johnny Depp and trying to strangle him.

— Elizabeth is Ruined (@Elizasoul80) December 30, 2015

My mom is the Dewey Defeats Truman headline of sharing information.

— Hot Breakfast (@amydillon) December 30, 2015

Wow 2015 sure was adjective. Let's hope 2016 is similar/opposing adjective.

— Juan King (@badongism) December 31, 2015

Your fart can muffler and matte black rims say "Monster Energy addict" but your upside down sideways visor says "unemployable date rapist."

— Horatio Quartzjixler (@Quartzjixler) November 28, 2015

New year's evening is like xmas deja-vu. I grill steak at 3 am and pass out eating it through the mouth hole of a smelly Dolly Parton mask.

— whaləsməlls (@whalesmells) January 1, 2016

Oh so when Ronda Rousey beats people up she's "cool" and "empowering", but when I do it, I'm "no longer welcome at anime expo" and "crying"

— Emma Bowers (@EmmaBowers) November 15, 2015

- Dad how'd you meet Mom? - Well son I saw Mommy at Comic-Con dressed as Slave Leia & a band shot out of my adult braces & broke her glasses

— Steve Dutzy (@SteveDutzy) January 3, 2016

Relax everyone. We can all make up for our wasted lives in that leap day in February. 😎

— New Year, New P_B (@Pat_Bren) January 1, 2016

And there you have it! A good one to start the year on, I would say.

Bring it, 2016!

I do, however, want to throw a special shout out to a young lady who goes by the name @gaileyfrey on Twitter. She sat down recently with her husband, some wine, and a set of the original Star Wars trilogy, and, while viewing it for the first time, live-tweeted the whole thing. If you haven't checked it out, you should.

All my Star Wars 4-6 first-watch livetweets, in order: https://t.co/Wpy4PXkcEz https://t.co/x3BX06H05r https://t.co/gDkJo0HoB8

— Burr Shot First (@gaileyfrey) December 27, 2015

So go out there and have a great week, will ya? And to get you started, here's a clip I was sent by my pal Ryan Laughman!


Ralph McTell's 100 easy tunes for guitar by RyannStjohn
All the best,
Derek and Bosco