October 3, 2016

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Okay, guys, look...I've had a nice little break from talking about Trump, and I've been enjoying it. But I would be remiss in not talking at least a little bit about this past week. To be blunt, it has not been very good at all. In fact, it was...

Cut me some slack. I made this in about five minutes.
To be honest, I'm not really interested in rehashing all the stupid stuff he did this week. But I do want to talk about the start of his shitty week, which was last Monday, about twenty minutes into his first real debate.

Up to that point, he had been pretty good (for him), aside from an extraordinary amount of sniffing, which some on Twitter suggested was either from using cocaine or possibly adderall.

But then Hillary Clinton pointed out Trump's refusal to release his tax returns. What, she asked, was he hiding? Could it be that he isn't as rich as he claims to be? That he might have some shady dealings he didn't want anyone to know about? Or maybe he didn't pay taxes and didn't want anybody to know know that, considering how often he goes on and on about people screwing over the American public by not paying their taxes.

Right about then, Donald lost his shit, and he never regained it. In fact, he still hasn't. It's been pretty entertaining to watch his meltdown online while his surrogates scramble to make it seem like he's not an insane asshole who hates anybody who has a different skin tone than him. (Which is pretty much everybody, except maybe Chester Cheetah.

Many people say I have the BEST skincare regimen. FANTASTIC.
Anyway, that's all I wanted to talk about, as far as he goes. But, in order to help you smile your way through my continued rambling about the debate, I've enlisted the help of some weird-ass Nicolas Cage GIFs. It seemed appropriate for some reason.

Now mind you, I wasn't the only one watching the debate. Far from it, in fact. Somewhere around 86 million people stopped whatever they were doing to watch it last Monday, and they kept watching it, which is pretty unusual, from what I understand. But not really that unusual, if you are the type of person who wants to watch a nervous breakdown happen on live television. And it turns out that a good portion of us here in the U.S. are exactly that type of person.

Before the debate, there was a lot of speculation about whether or not the candidates were going to be treated equally, as in exactly not the way it happened at the Commander-in-Chief Forum. Using tweets from people I found around, I was able to put together a brief transcript of how a lot of folks felt it might go...

But, as we all know, it didn't go like that, which means Trump believes he was the one who was treated poorly.

When that didn't work, he went on TV and straight-up claimed to have won the whole debate, citing online polls that are clearly labeled as "non-scientific polls". And, in one case, a poll that never happened.


I'll finish this part out with a prediction I made last Monday.

If it turns out I'm right, I'm totally buying a Powerball ticket.

I...I don't know what to say about this.
Now, on to other, more awesome stuff. First off, a big ol' shout out to Firefly and Con-Man star Alan Tudyk, who was recently married to choreographer Charissa Barton!

That's awesome, and we here at Ugly Couchcast Industries wish them the very best!

And one other thing I forgot to mention while we were recording this week's episode of Here Be Spoilers, a little message from the gang at the new Mystery Science Theater 3000...

It's a good time to be alive.

And the prettiest princess at the ball.
And then there were tweets. Ten of them, in fact, and I am going to throw them in your face like a professional wrestler throwing chalk into the eyes of his nemesis. That's a thing that happens, right?

In no particular order...

And there you have it! An excellent pile of tweets. Now get out there and have an awesome week. To start it out, here's the SNL cold open from this past weekend that gave their own spin to the debate. Plus it has Alec Baldwin and Kate McKinnon, so it's a win regardless.

No go have fun, ya goobers!

And good luck forgetting this image!
All the best,
Derek and Bosco