February 6, 2017

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Oh, kids...What a week! So much insanity and stupidity, I don't even know where to start.

Let's start with the cool part first, shall we?

There was a Women's March held in Washington, D.C. (and all around the world--literally millions of marchers), to protest Angry Orange's (and his compatriots'--or comrades', if you prefer) threats to defund Planned Parenthood, women's inequality, and a lot of other stuff that really shouldn't even be an issue in these supposedly enlightened times.

This photo is worth the click to read all the signs that I fixed for them.

Of course, there were still a few good laughs to be had from the creative and hilarious marchers' signs.

Naturally, Angry Orange only had one takeaway from the whole thing: Denial. "There were more people at my inauguration! People love me!" he insisted. And, aside from that being complete bullshit, that was all he really had to say about it, largely because they were busy prepping executive orders to screw over everybody who wasn't rich, white, male, and them. And then they started firing them off...

And everyone's reaction was pretty much the same.
He announced a travel ban for seven countries in the Middle East, revoking visas and green cards from people immediately, even if they had already undergone the vetting process of becoming an American citizen. A lot of people pointed out two things about this ban: First, the ban does not cover any of the countries from which actual terrorists who have done evil things against the U.S. And second, there were at least three other countries in the same area from with actual terrorists came from, including the 9/11 guys, that Angry Orange did not ban. And it just so happens that those three-ish countries also happen to be places where he has business interests.

And the hits just keep on comin'!
Angry Orange also announced his nomination for the Supreme Court seat that should have been filled by President Obama, but was held up because Obama had the nerve to go around being Black while President. Before the announcement of the actual nominee, Angry Orange tried to make it like his asinine television show and tease it out on Twitter, where he was quickly torn to shreds.

When he finally did announce his pick, nobody cared and so he went on Twitter again, but this time it was to tell everyone how much better his version of The Apprentice was than Ah-nuld's version. Schwarzenegger responded by offering to switch places with him, and them trolled him by posting a news article headlined "Arnold Releases His Taxes".

Eet's naht a tooomah!
One of Angry Orange's talking monkeys, Kellyanne Conway, went on MSNBC to whine that nobody covered the Bowling Green Massacre, an event that never happened. This was her justification for the Muslin travel ban that they insisted was not a ban on Muslims.

(To be fair, there were two Iraqi men arrested in Bowling Green in 2011, for trying to send money and weapons back to al-Qaeda in Iraq. However, there was no "massacre".)

This, as well as Conway's insistence on spouting straight-up garbage lies on the networks, has led CNN to consider never having her on again, because she is a waste of space. If only the other networks would take that into consideration...

Angry Orange's top advisors, Reince Priebus and Steve Bannon.
All of this has led to Angry Orange's approval rating sinking to a record low in just a meager eight days.

Should be interesting to see if we survive to next week so we can see if he beat it.

I got nothing. Think up your own funny political quote here.
And then...there were tweets. So many tweets. Lots and lots of tweets. And I had to go through all of them to pick out ten of them that you might think are funny. And now, I'm gonna throw 'em at your eyeballs. If you dig 'em, come on over to Twitter and join in the fun!

In no particular order...

And there you have it! Not too shabby! Now get out there and have an awesome week. And to help it along, here's an oldie but a goodie from Bad Lip Reading.

All the best,
Derek and Bosco