Well! It's been another week, and a lot of weird stuff has gone on. I'm going to get right to it, right after I post this GIF:
|Which is why I do this; it's my version of meditation.|
Last week kicked off with the Grammys, an award show that, if pressed, I could name maybe three of the "artists" who were up for awards this year. And, more importantly, I could not possibly care less about the awards because the show is so boring.
Y'know...it wouldn't kill these Grammy Awards to have a wet t-shirt category.— Marcmywords (@Marcmywords2) February 13, 2017
That was followed by Valentine's Day. And it appears that I'm not the only one who isn't a fan. But it was good for a laugh or two.
Auto correct changed handbag into gangbang and now I'm really looking forward to Valentine's Day.— Sandra (@Sanbel11) February 6, 2017
Myself, I went to go see LEGO Batman: The Movie and absolutely loved every single frame of it.
A review:— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) February 14, 2017
LEGO Batman: The Movie
Doughy guy sitting next to me who started crying at the end
Seriously, stop reading this and go see it right now, if you haven't already. And even if you did, finish reading this, and then go see it. If you disagree with its awesomeness, I will fight you.
And it looks like Angry Orange is sprinting as fast as his doughy body can carry him toward either impeachment, treason charges, or straight-up insanity. Or possibly all of the above. And he's making more and more enemies as he goes on.
|And you just made the list.|
Recap of Trump's press conference:— Elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) February 16, 2017
-he doesn't remember his lies
-uranium is nuclear weapons and stuff
-all black people know each other
Along with that, just about everybody he has nominated for a cabinet position has either been forced to resign, backed out of the running, or just plain refused the position. It seems that his claim that he knows "the smartest people" is coming back to bite him on the ass. I don't know if they truly are the smartest, but they're smart enough to see where this administration is heading, and they want absolutely no part of it.
So what do we do? Fortunately, a couple friends of mine have suggestions.
This is simple:— Johnny Normality (@Probgoblin) February 15, 2017
1. Impeach President.
3. Do that a few more times. Like four probably.
4. Special Election.
5. President Godzilla.
If I wanted a completely unqualified but fun president, I would have voted for Robert Downey, Jr.— America's Henchman? (@TheDailySchmuck) February 17, 2017
Either of those works for me.
|Because impeachment has that effect on me.|
At least Nixon visited China. Trump can't even shake hands right.— ErinEph (@ErinEph) February 14, 2017
But, again, this information is providing some seriously entertaining ideas.
I'm considering making a mini-game about shaking hands with Trump pic.twitter.com/GkRRXF2J0x— PunchesBears ㅎ㉨ㅎ (@punchesbears) February 18, 2017
I would play that game. It's like a passive-aggressive version of Mortal Kombat.
Holy shit. 3 Doors Down has enough well-known songs to release a "greatest hits" compilation? https://t.co/8UthKBPOn5— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) February 13, 2017
Arby's offers something called a Jamocha Cream Pie. I won't order something that sounds like you're negotiating with a Thai hooker.— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) February 13, 2012
This Italian restaurant claims to treat you 'like family,' yet no one is crying, throwing food, or asking me to wipe their butt.— Angie B (@angibangie) February 12, 2017
My 6 Favorite Candle Scents:— Danny Charnley (@DanKCharnley) April 9, 2014
1. Thighmeat Juice
2. Arby's Musk For Men
3. Jeremy Piven
4. Vanilla Sadness
5. Italian Bandana
6. Girth #9
Babies named Travis are born with Lynyrd Skynyrd tattoos and an innate desire to defend the integrity of the WWE.— Bob Phillips (@BobTheSuit) February 13, 2017
That guy at Build-A-Bear was not amused... pic.twitter.com/QLD0wwHzi9— Barry Bishop (@Beelzecub) February 14, 2017
You would think that, with all the advancements in technology, someone would have come up with a way to make pimpin' easy by now.— 🇨🇦 Lorne Boozer (@LorneBoozer) November 25, 2016
My boss at Arby's doesn't care if I mess up orders as long as I arch my back and bend at the waist.— Mr. Bea Arthur (@FuckabillyRex) February 15, 2017
#AlanisMorissette had $2 million in jewelry stolen from her home. It's roughly 3 tons of macrame, hemp and mood rings.— Dave Landau (@LandauDave) February 15, 2017
If you armpit fart a Billy Joel song when you get to the front of the Arby's line, they have to give you a free handful of beef— Erin 🎶Gloria🎶 Ryan (@morninggloria) February 7, 2017
The girl at my local library pronounced it "lie-BEARY" so yes, officer, that is how I ended up here with this megaphone and Speak & Spell.— Charlie Bukowski (@LePetitOiseau_L) February 10, 2017
*Opens a window and the wind blows 42 corndogs from my desk.*— Ashley (@ashmensch) February 18, 2017
"Oh no! My research!!"