He's really not good at this.
He's also not really good at putting deals together, despite his insistence that he is really, really good at putting deals together. Really...The best, he says, over and over again, in the hope that someone, somewhere will believe him. But, just as he may have started turning some people toward the possibility that he might have some sort of skill, he offers up what he thinks is the BEST health care plan EVER. And it tanks so hard that t never even gets a vote.
Things Donald Trump has accomplished so far as President:— David Cornelius (@david_cornelius) March 25, 2017
1. Frowned at mean German lady
2. Made the big truck go honk honk
So, yeah...He hasn't managed to get much done the regular way, so he does whatever he can with executive orders. Unfortunately, most of those get shot down, too. I bet he's really sad...
God...That was exactly as irritating as I expected it to be.
|Brain freeze is the worst.|
And then he dispatched the death squad...
|What? You can hear me? Oh, god...|
Strangling the hobo before offering the lady an opportunity to rummage through the hobo's bindle. #relationshipfauxpas— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) March 27, 2017
You're welcome, theoretical young people.
|It wasn't the advice you wanted...Nor was it the advice you deserved...|
my brain: don't tweet controversial things— your daddy (@Kappa_Kappa) March 26, 2017
me: [typing] what do priests & Hiroshima have in common? They've both been blown by a Little B-
went to a Brazilian steakhouse w a group last night and was going to yell I WILL EAT YOU ALL UNDER THE TABLE but stopped myself just in time— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) March 26, 2017
Not exactly a fortune, but reassuring nevertheless. pic.twitter.com/fPS9pHhHoe— Abby Normal (@MrsTomServo) March 27, 2017
It has come to my attention that the 'teens' do not adequately appreciate how 'real' I am keeping it.— Doctor Happyknuckles (@drhappyknuckles) March 28, 2017
SO embarrassing how the night I lost my virginity I cried out "Immortality through progeny!" before we even finished dinner.— Abe M. Bee (@dubiousrhetoric) March 27, 2017
I just saw a homeless guy yelling at a dumpster and wearing a Disney princess t-shirt and I've never been more jealous of anyone ever— beth can't with this (@bourgeoisalien) March 29, 2017
Men's sweatpants with words like "Bacon" across the ass.— Deviously Marvelous (@DvuslyMarvelous) March 19, 2017
If I have any little kid followers, it might interest you to know that I just saw a truck!— Ben Acker (@bnacker) March 30, 2017
2 days after my mom visits, I get a shipment of Charmin. Every time she poops, she presses my Amazon button hoping for dispenser-magic.— Fontina Turner (@Bacon_And_Legs) April 1, 2017
And there you have it! And now, because I know it will bring on traumatic nightmares for my pal @redtache, instead of a video, I'm just gonna leave this GIF of Ray Milland doing the Twist with all the energy and vigor of a sloth at a funeral. Feel free to suggest music to play while you watch.
|You look at it, @redtache...LOOK AT IT.|
Derek and Bosco