April 3, 2017

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, guys! I'm back. I had a nice, restful week away from the list to renew my enjoyment of the hilarious people on Twitter, as well as spend at least one day not wanting to punch a wall because of the dumbass things Angry Orange and his pet monkeys did. Just the one day, though...

For now...
Anyway, over the past two weeks, Angry Orange has been drawing attention to the possible connection between him, his campaign, his White House staff, and Russian president Vladimir "Hard Pecks" Putin. Admittedly, he's trying to draw attention away from it, but he's not very good at it. Basically, he keeps bringing it up to insist that it isn't a real thing, thus re-energizing the people who had stopped talking about it, as well as drawing the attention of people who may have not heard about it.

He's really not good at this.

He's also not really good at putting deals together, despite his insistence that he is really, really good at putting deals together. Really...The best, he says, over and over again, in the hope that someone, somewhere will believe him. But, just as he may have started turning some people toward the possibility that he might have some sort of skill, he offers up what he thinks is the BEST health care plan EVER. And it tanks so hard that t never even gets a vote.


So, yeah...He hasn't managed to get much done the regular way, so he does whatever he can with executive orders. Unfortunately, most of those get shot down, too. I bet he's really sad...


God...That was exactly as irritating as I expected it to be.

Brain freeze is the worst.
On an amusing note, FBI Director James Comey's super-secret Twitter account was found out due to some serious sleuthing from journalist Ashley Feinberg. Rather than dispatch a death squad to "take care of the problem," Comey played it cool and acknowledged her hard work.


And then he dispatched the death squad...

What? You can hear me? Oh, god...
And, finally, with the terrible way I see young men talking to and about women, calling them "harlots" and "roundheels" and "harpie" and all, I felt it was time to share some of my earned wisdom with some of these young'uns on this here interweb machine how to treat women when you take them out.


You're welcome, theoretical young people.

It wasn't the advice you wanted...Nor was it the advice you deserved...
And then there were tweets! So many tweets! And so few spaces to cram them into! But I went ahead and did that, because it's kinda my brand. So let's see what ten I decided to put in there, shall we? In no particular order...


And there you have it! And now, because I know it will bring on traumatic nightmares for my pal @redtache, instead of a video, I'm just gonna leave this GIF of Ray Milland doing the Twist with all the energy and vigor of a sloth at a funeral. Feel free to suggest music to play while you watch.

You look at it, @redtache...LOOK AT IT.
All the best,
Derek and Bosco