April 24, 2017

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, everybody!

Well, we made it through Easter without Zombie Jesus eating our brains, so I figured it would be a good idea to make another list. And get this: I'm using GIFs from the hilariously funny Swear Trek Tumblr page. If you like Star Trek, check it out.

Sensors indicate hilarity!
Last week, liever every single week since he lied his way through the oath of office, Angry Orange has had a bad week. For Easter, the traditional White House Easter Egg Roll took place, despite what I am sure was his complete and utter displeasure. Oh and the couldn't bring any celebrities in to entertain the kids, as presidents in the past have. Instead, kids got to meet the White House staff, with bleached-blonde spokesgoblin Kellyanne Conway taking time away from guarding her bridge so she could frighten children on a more individual basis. But most disturbing was the creepy Easter Bunny that was shown hanging with Angry Orange and his wife.


And speaking of disturbing White House visitors, insane cat lady Sarah Palin showed up with anthropomorphic Confederate flag/double-wide trailer hybrid Kid Rock and draft-dodging pants-filler Ted Nugent. Presumably, they were there to help Melania decide on wallpaper samples for the private residence once she and little Barron hop in their gold-plated, bald eagle head-lined limo and move in with daddy.

It looks like a pile of camouflage and failure, covered in a fine mist of Axe Body Spray.

And now, as we cruise toward the first 100 days of Angry Orange's attempt to destroy the country and possibly kill everybody in it, his list of accomplishments is looking less full than even his inaugural audience.

However, he continues to argue that he's getting shit done, but nobody knew how hard this job would be!

Stay strong, you big orange asshat! If we're lucky, you'll be impeached before you hit 200 days...

We now go to the White House for a Healthcare Update...
In other news that will make Angry Orange cry, angry screaming grandpa Bill O'Reilly has been given the boot from Fox News. Turns out that causing your bosses to pay out millions of dollars in what is, essentially, hush money because you can't stop pawing the help is a bad career move.

The week before last, Bill-do Baggins went on "vacation" while this was being straightened out, insisting he would be back, as did the network. A few days later, in the face of advertisers running away as fast as they could, Fox decided it just wasn't worth it to keep him. Good riddance, you screamy shit bucket.

Right there with you, Bones.
As for myself, well...I had questions.

And I also acknowledged 4/20, a "holiday" for fans of herbal entertainment, although I don't partake myself.

Fun side note: When I posted this same comment on Facebook, I immediately got a response from some person I don't even know, who defended his use of pot, thereby proving my point.

There it is...
Here's the thing: I have no problem with people who use pot. I look at it the same way I look at religion; if it works for you, have at it. But I'm not interested. And, for the most part, people accept that. However, a random scroll around Twitter will show you thousands of people who enjoy pot, and feel they have to announce it as loudly and widely as possible. Nobody cares. Enjoy your pot, but there's no need to tell me about it. There should be a name for those people.

Yeah, that's them.
And then there were tweets! The folks on Twitter were, as usual, rocking the funny in a big way. Let's have a look, shall we? In no particular order...

And there you have it! Now get out there and have a great week! And to help it along, here's Harry Potter rapping.

But, Harry...What about Voldemort?

Ah, dang it.
All the best,
Derek and Bosco