And it's been another long and and occasionally upsetting week, what with Angry Orange driving us toward World War III and all, but there's also been some funny stuff. And it will all be presented with animated GIFs of weird Japanese stuff, and no captions from me. Like this one:
Japan is fucking weird...But entertaining!
First up, we lost a comedy legend last week. Don Rickles, known as "Mr. Warmth", passed away last week at the age of 90. Rickles was known for his quick-witted roasting skills, and was a big influence with a lot of well-known comics. He had a heck of a life, and will be missed.
|Rest In Peace, you hockey puck.|
Pepsi last week released a new commercial that was...let's say it was incredibly insensitive toward Black Lives Matter, among other things ("Racial tension? Have a Pepsi, officer!"), and it didn't go over too well, as you might imagine. But it did bring out the funny.
IN OTHER NEWS: TAB COLA STILL DENIES THE HOLOCAUST pic.twitter.com/6zjolc9ddg— Kendrick LaBlart (@Hamptonyount) April 4, 2017
"Now just wait one second officers.— Philip Lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) April 5, 2017
I have a Pepsi." pic.twitter.com/NW0sddKOOI
Pepsi: We've done it. We've created the most tone-deaf ad of the week. Maybe the year!— Madison M. K. (@4evrmalone) April 5, 2017
Nivea: Hold my beer. pic.twitter.com/jdNfdvqjOg
Fortunately, Pepsi took the hint and pulled the commercial.
Singer/songwriter Barry Manilow announced this past week that he is gay. Despite nobody really saying much about it over the past...forever years, he decided it was time to come out and let the world know that he's been married to his partner for a good long time.
I will now offer an incredibly controversial response to the news that Barry Manilow has come out as gay:— DrClayForrester (@TheRealDCF) April 5, 2017
All you need to know about the Barry Manilow story is he's been with his husband longer than all three of Trump's marriages combined.— shauna (@goldengateblond) April 5, 2017
However, I can't help but wonder why it needed to be announced as news. I mean, good for him and his partner and all, but this "news" doesn't change the fact that he is an immensely talented performer that has been doing what he does for what seems like hundreds of years. Good for you, Barry. Now get out there and continue to do what you do.
As for my week, it was pretty normal. For me, anyway. While listening to some old CDs (for you young'uns, those are what MP3s are before you find them on a torrenting site), I ran across a song that questions the mishandling and improper placement of rural itinerant animal handlers.
Years passed by...Then, in the middle of a peaceful sleep, her eye snap open, and @paulacolemusic whispers, "Shit...Did I ever check Texas?"— DrClayForrester (@TheRealDCF) April 2, 2017
I first posted something about this five or six years ago (because you all know how I like to be topical), and have mentioned it occasionally since then. Not once has Paula Cole responded. Even a "hey, that joke sucked" would have been appreciated. But, alas, nothing.
Another thing that happened was, while cruising around on the interwebs, as I am wont to do, I stopped over at Yahoo Answers, an activity I would highly recommend in moderation, to see what weirdness or silliness I could find.
Mom was lucky...Of course, I could also add that she never saw Craigslist, either. Thank gawd...
And then there were tweets...And I grabbed a handful to sprinkle liberally around the place for you to point and laugh at, but in a good way. Let's have a look, in no particular order...
It's time they rename FOREVER 21 to SEXUALLY ACTIVE 14.— Jenni Ross (@jenniross2) March 26, 2016
Ahhh, that would explain why it's still under my pillow... pic.twitter.com/A82cWezGbh— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) April 2, 2017
This is our center for brain health if you want to know what living in Vegas is like.— Witch Hazel (@wit_haze) January 30, 2017
Brain health. pic.twitter.com/8qaR1sjoam
A snatch & grab is not at all what I thought it was, & now I'm holding up a liquor store pantless.— Kris P Kreme (@krisv_723) April 4, 2017
The existence of Lil Wayne suggests the existence of a larger (perhaps deadlier) Wayne.— MehGyver (@AndrewNadeau0) March 31, 2017
When I see the word "SCOTUS," I feel like I'm about to read medical information about nutsacks.— Jerry (2 silent r's) (@jlock17) April 4, 2017
I carefully vet every man in my life by playing the intros to "Under Pressure" & "Ice, Ice Baby" & making them tell me which is which.— The Sassiest Semite (@LittleMissLizz) April 4, 2017
A thin braided belt and denim shorts is the international symbol for "I have had sex at a county fair".— Sarge (@BastardProphet) April 4, 2017
Shag garlic, marry ginger pic.twitter.com/lwBNmKO4ic— Tom (@tdawks) March 27, 2017
*rips jacket off of hipster*— Danny Charnley (@DanKCharnley) December 2, 2015
"THIS IS FOR MEMBERS ONLY!"
*handlebar mustache fades away*
*jeans become less skinny*
*shirt loses irony*
And there you have it!
Now get out there and have an awesome week! And to help you along, here's a shiny new Bad Lip Reading, featuring Mark Hamill!
All the best,
Derek and Bosco