Once again, the battle between Derek and Larry to destroy each other's will to live with a soul-crushingly stupid movie escalates, and this time poor Jake is present to witness the horror of Larry's selection, Ernest Goes to Hell...er, Camp. We meant Ernest Goes to Camp.
|Larry: "Here, eat this shit."|
Working along with him at the camp are Nurse St. Cloud (Victoria Racimo), Chef Jake (Gallard Sartain), Chef Eddie (Daniel Butler), camp owner Mr. Tipton (Larry Black), and Nurse St. Cloud's grandfather, Chief St. Cloud (Iron Eyes Cody, who, it turns out, is actually Italian).
Rather than sending him flying into a blood-fueled rage that ends with numerous mini-thugs dead on the school bus floor and Ernest being led away in handcuffs, he finds it endearing and quickly becomes friends with them.
|Every one of them looks like the would be proud of their appearance on COPS.|
As punishment for fighting, the young hoodlums are forced to dig a trench, Cool Hand Luke-style, and then told to go swim to bathe themselves. When one of the lifeguards (Eddy Schumacher as Stennis) throws Moose (Hakeem Abdul-Samad), the smallest of the group, into the water despite his insistence that he can't swim, the others push him and his lifeguard chair into the lake, and Stennis ends up with a broken leg.
Ernest runs to the boys' defense, and is assigned as their counselor, achieving his dream, at last. Sort of. He takes them on a nature walk, and is attacked by a badger, and the boys give him first aid, wrapping him head-to-toe in Ace bandages, only to tie the end to the bus and unwrap him in what one can only assume was supposed to be a humorous manner. Really, it just makes the view sad and kind of achy.
|Or, in the case of Eddie and Jake, somewhat aroused.|
Krader and his guys try and try to get the Chief to sign over the deed to the land, but he's having no part of it. Until Ernest the idiot steps in to completely mess up everything, as he is wont to do.
|No, really...The whole "rape of the land" section is just lawyer-speak.|
|Worse than the beating Sonny gave Carlo in The Godfather.|
|And die in a mist of disintegrated flesh and bone by doing stupid things.|
Larry picked this because, not only did he want to hurt Derek, but he also actually likes this movie. He is, however, fully willing to admit that it is stupid, but he feels that it's a fair trade-off. He is wrong.
Derek didn't like it, but he has certainly seen worse. His biggest issue with the movie is that, although it is only rated PG, it is surprisingly violent, and he is certain that numerous basically innocent people were killed by Ernest and his evil minions.
Jake fell somewhere between the others. He chalks it up mostly to nostalgia, and is willing to give the stunning amount of super-violent scenes a miss because, according to him, the 80s were a different time.
So dust off that denim vest, hit yourself in the face numerous times with a metal shovel, and enjoy this week's episode! KnowhutImean?