It's been a crazy week, what with e-mails and meetings with foreign adversaries and Angry Orange listening to a marching band play a Daft Punk medley and whatnot, so I just want to tell you that this week's GIFs are all about LEGO™!
|Benny is happy to be here.|
World leaders got together this past week to party hard and shun the current lunkhead squatting in the White House, but there was one guy who was all about having a little private time with him...
For someone who has nothing to gain for installing him as president, Putin sure does a devious little chuckle every time he looks at Trump.— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) July 9, 2017
Angry Orange met with Rootin' Tootin' Putin for over two hours, with only translators and maybe one or two others in the room. What, if anything, did they talk about? Nobody knows, because neither of them is telling. And all those slurping noises heard through the door? Probably just the sound of Angry Orange enjoying two scoops of ice cream...
Later, during the actual summit itself, Angry Orange got up from his seat to...I dunno...maybe find out where Chris Christi is with his KFC...sweatshop enthusiast Ivanka sat down to take his place.
"be honest does this dress make me look like i'm colluding with russia"-ivanka trump— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 9, 2017
Naturally, this caused quite an uproar because, as almost everyone on Earth pointed out, she is not even remotely qualified to be an adviser to her father, so there is no way in hell she should be sitting at the table with world leaders.
|He speaks for all of us.|
Donald Trump, Jr. was in the spotlight because the rumor mill produced information about a meeting last summer where he, his brother-in-law Jared Kushner, and Paul Manafort met with a Russian lawyer who claimed to have some dirt on Hillary Clinton. Don, Jr., wanting to impress Daddy, immediately jumped at the chance to get that info, but the whole thing turned out to be a bust because, according to witnesses (at least, the ones who have been identified), the lawyer only wanted to complain about sanctions against adopting Russian children here in the U.S. The meeting was considered a bust, and nobody said anything about it to, say, somebody at the CIA or the FBI. Or mentioned it on the security forms after the election, which, it turns out, is illegal.
Reporter: "How are you?"— Palmer Report (@PalmerReport) July 11, 2017
Donald Trump Jr.: "I'm guilty"
Reporter: "I was just"
Jr: "Here's proof"
Jr: "I COMMITTED TREASON"
The New York Times managed to get their hands on Don, Jr.'s emails with the guy who set up the meeting, and they were set to publish them. Don, Jr. decided that it would probably look better if he produced the emails himself beforehand. (By about thirty minutes.) Unfortunately for him, that still doesn't clear him, Manafort or Kushner for lying on their clearance forms. I smell potential charges of collusion!
|Republicans trying to distance themselves from Angry Orange.|
Credit where it's due...That was the most polite-sounding takedown I've ever heard. If it had been me, there would have been a lot more cursing.
One thing the Trump presidency has done is dismantle the "Why would the villain reveal his plan? That's not realistic" criticism.— Stephen Bush (@stephenkb) July 11, 2017
It will probably fail because the GOP refuses to give Angry Orange the boot when they still have so many terrible ideas to implement, but it's a start.
|He dodged that bullet...for now...|
Remember that guitar I mentioned last week? This happened today... pic.twitter.com/7TY6pKSVYD— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) July 10, 2017
And I saw the most depressing tableau ever.
I saw an empty @tacobell $5 Box next to a clogged toilet at the mall today. It told the whole sad story in one simple scene.— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) July 9, 2017
My life, while not always filled with excitement, still manages to never be boring.
|But I don't want it to be filled with excitement!|
Arrive at Dad's, barely through the door & he worriedly declares "They can see where you are anywhere in the world with Doogle-maps, Gary!"— Save As, G☕h.xlsx (@GahBr0wnTZ) July 9, 2017
[slowly pushes Twinkie through a glory hole]— GPoss (@gogglepossum) July 9, 2017
The number one most hated enemy of Deep State: The University of Deep.— John Moe (@johnmoe) July 9, 2017
If my pizza was ticking, I'd eat as much as I could before it exploded.— Rev Thurl Ravenscrof (@2tickytacky) July 9, 2017
Check out my podcast, ninety-seven hours of cosmic background radiation punctuated by bursts of manic laughter.— tzulander (@suntzufuntzu) November 20, 2016
After 37 years it's still a legitimate fear of mine that ghosts are watching me masturbate— Ted AF (@TedInModeration) April 24, 2017
All stories should have a beginning, a middle, and a child who forges an unlikely friendship with Abraham Lincoln's ghost.— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) July 11, 2017
I bought a shed kit at Sears & now I have a herd of wild dads impatiently milling around in my front yard— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) July 12, 2017
For every kellyanne conway outfit, there's a corresponding david lee roth outfit pic.twitter.com/PxWIeUeogt— c a i t l i n 🌹 (@hello__caitlin) July 12, 2017
I just ran over a plastic bag drifting through the wind. I'm pretty sure I just destroyed Katy Perry's soul.— Queen B 👑 (@Briidashian) July 15, 2017
And there you have it! Now get out there and have a great week. And to help it along, I offer not some funny video I found on YouTube. Instead, I offer this tweet from Paul F. Tompkins, who appears to have discovered the song of the year. Bask in its glory.
A NEW SONG FOR THE WORLD pic.twitter.com/HY1JwCVmYz— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) July 13, 2017
All the best,
Derek and Bosco