Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

It's that time again, kids! Once again, I'm happy to present ten tweets that are way funnier than anything I could come up with! If you're on Twitter, follow them! If you're not, get over there and check them out, along with all the other hilarious people running around the place.

And so, here we go!

Someone stole my identity. And then sent it back with $100 and a note that said "So sorry man. Hope things work out."
— Andry H'tims (@Thing_Finder) March 5, 2013

Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm the jerk.
— Nina Bargiel (@slackmistress) April 27, 2012

Click Now! FREE videos of Hot Young Coeds getting TOTALLY CREAMED by student loan debt!
— Molly Manglewood (@undeadmolly) March 11, 2014

I've never done the "Walk Of Shame" but I have done a few "Cartwheels Of Awesomeness".
— Wonder Monkey (@WonderMonkey78) August 31, 2011

*dumps pile of Snickers on counter* Clerk: Do you need a bag? *opens backpack filled with cats wearing backpacks* Nope. I'm good.
— Arielle Jints (@arielleBigBlue) February 6, 2014

So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
— Blurr (@blurryfoto) December 9, 2012

The first rule of telepathy club is:
— Captain Crabby (@Captain_Crabby) November 30, 2013

— Lady Carmalita (@LadyCarmalita) March 10, 2014

Before you mock Malaysia's stupidity for losing a plane, remember, we elected a President who couldn't pronounce 'nuclear.' Twice
— Burro Hunter (@215potter) March 13, 2014

You never hear anyone say "Eat a bag of vaginas" and it bothers me. We can't eat dicks forever.
— Fondue KnuckleSlap. (@Genghis_Dong) September 6, 2013

There you have it! Tune in next time, when I lament the fact that my own tweets aren't appreciated as much as I think they should be, like this one:

KFC to offer Go To Hell Cup, featuring some wet cigarette butts, an old Hooters receipt, and and a blister of their World Famous Gravy Skin.

— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) March 11, 2014

All the best,
Derek and Bosco