Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

It's Sunday night again, kids, and you know what that means: Time to make with the Twitter funny!

I've got nothing else to add, other than to tell you that you really oughta go join up and get in on the vast wasteland of wackiness that is Twitter.

And so, in no particular order, let's get this party rolling!

I shouldn't be arrested for putting lipstick on your dog, YOU should be arrested for not having a fabulous dog.
— Dane (@ProfaneDane) May 21, 2014

NEWSFLASH: FBI REALIZES THEY'VE BEEN USING BLACK SHARPIES ALL THESE YEARS AND NOT HIGHLIGHTERS
— Ryan Laughman (@Roof_Pizza) May 24, 2014

*pops out of the bowl of m&ms on your desk* i licked 14 of these *slowly sinks back down* foouuuurrrteeeeeen
— Maebe a Good Hat (@maebemarbles) April 15, 2014

Accidentally ate two multivitamins today and now I am immortal.
— moody monday (@mdob11) August 27, 2013

Kid Rock was conceived the night a hobo sneezed into a tin of Skoal.
— Uncle Dynamite (@UncleDynamite) May 28, 2014

[hospital] Mom: Our son's coma - Dad: I know, it's time Mom: Will you do it? Dad: Yes *draws dick on son's face* Mom: *whispers* OWNED
— Terry F (@daemonic3) May 28, 2014

My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
— Ikea Monkey™ (@Ikea_Monkey_89) May 29, 2014

If really good-looking people are "eye candy" I guess that puts me somewhere around the "eye broccoli" category.
— Tony (@Tmoney68) May 12, 2013

By the time the kids realized Charles was in charge of their days AND their nights it was too late. The totalitarian state was now in place.
— ibid (@ibid78) May 27, 2014

don't bring a knife to a gun fight. also don't bring: blankets, toffee crisps, a DVD boxset of Frasier, milk, your uncle or tent pegs
— thomas f (@tomtommotmot) June 1, 2014

And there you have it, True Believers! (Sorry...Watching Spider-man...)

But before I go, I wanted to let you all know that big things are afoot for this year's Sausagefest! Stay tuned for details in upcoming shows and posts! Until then, have a great week!

Here's a little something to send you off on a good note. It's an animated video called "We Sell Your Crap" that I made with my kids a while back. Enjoy!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco