Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Well, kids, one computer issue has been handled. I got my hands on a new power supply for my laptop, so I'm back with a shiny new list of re-tweets from the hilarious folks on Twitter.

Before I start with those, though, I just wanted to take a moment to thank Bart Dunsmore, Linda McCallum, John Normandin, Larry Sieczynski, D.J. Swinson, Steve Vaughan, Garland Reynolds and the Infamous Scotty Ray for making last weekend's The Ugly Couchcast presents Sausagefest 2: Electric Boogaloo live podcast show an absolute pleasure to be a part of. You guys rock!

Also, BIG shouts out to Starr, Haillie and, of course, Tonya, for allowing all of us to act like complete nincompoops for a couple hours.

And, of course, to all the people who came out to see the show -- many of whom were in attendance at our first Sausagefest.

There. Now that's out of the way. So let's get some funny happening! In no particular order...

I wanted my pizza made with love instead they made it with swag, now im texting my bae and cant stop taking selfies

— Mark Marusich (@NoticablyBacon) August 30, 2014

If a camera adds 10 pounds then maybe stop eating them

— Denise! (@Stellacopter) May 9, 2014

"Hi, I'm in room 326, I'd like to order a wake up call." "Ok. Your wife is very close to leaving you & you're a joke to your co-workers."

— David Hughes (@david8hughes) November 24, 2013

I'm working on weaponized Axe body spray. You toss it in a room like a grenade, and everyone in close proximity smells like a Chad.

— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) August 29, 2014

whoever keeps playing the bassline from Seinfeld every time I come home please stop I haven't slept in weeks and now my hair is falling out

— Dave D (Not a warlok (@davedittell) August 25, 2014

What have I done pic.twitter.com/mQEghR2N8M

— Дарий (@AlexeySapin) August 28, 2014

Just a dream? How do you explain THIS *opens closet revealing a leprechaun snorting Fun Dip off a unicorns ass* HOW DID THEY GET THE FUN DIP

— Blank. (@sarcasm_inc) August 26, 2014

*pulls pantyhose over head; walks into bank; fires shotgun into ceiling* Nobody move, I don't think I'm wearing these correctly!

— Brian (@Black__Elvis) August 26, 2014

An easy way to tell the difference between a burrito and a baby is to cover it in hot sauce. If it cries: not a burrito

— Steven Retrograde (@SternoShots) May 21, 2013

All the other knights are jealous of Sir Mix A Lot because he always gets picked to DJ the queen's private rap battles.

— Carly Danger (@carlyken) August 24, 2014

And there you have it! Here's to hoping the rest of the week goes super awesome for all of you, starting with a bitchen Hump Day. And to help you on your way, here's another music video from my old band, Gypsy Moth (which featured Monica Hudson on vocals, Tom Kessler on rhythm guitar, Scott Aldis on bass, Larry Sieczynski on drums and myself on lead guitar) as bobbleheads! Stick around for the ending. It's good times. Also, Fun Trivia Fact: The people shown in the crowd include my kids and some great friends of mine. Enjoy!


All the best,
Derek and Bosco