July 23, 2015

Hobgoblins

To download, right-click here and choose, "Save file as..."


Well, it finally happened. This movie broke the guys' brains.

As punishment for...well, all of Jake's movie choices so far, Derek chose the 1988 Gremlins rip-off Hobgoblins.

It's the story of a group of complete and utter idiots who accidentally release some ugly little monsters into the world, and their efforts to corral them back into the movie studio vault from which they escaped.


Our "heroes".
There's the army guy who looks like Carmine from Laverne & Shirley, the extra from Square Pegs, the super-pervy nerd, the prudish girlfriend, and the loser who is responsible for the monsters getting out and must try to get them back to where they belong.

The titular hobgoblins are, for their part, poorly made puppets with all the expressiveness of a mentally-challenged brick.

However, they are still more appealing than the "heroes".
They have the ability to control people's minds, making them act on their fantasies. As a result, lots of gross sex is implied, the pervy guy almost gets thrown off a mountain by a phone sex operator, and the prude girl goes off to be a stripper at the classiest club in town.

Do not put your kids in the "ball pit".
When the gang goes there to rescue her, all sorts of wackiness ensues, including a hand grenade battle, the army guy who likes to vogue, a bouncer named Road Rash, and a waitress with hair shaped like a butt plug.

"But it wasn't a rock! It was a rock lobster!"
Will our heroes...You know what? Screw it. Everybody hated everything about this movie. It's garbage. There's nothing appealing at all.

Jake wants everybody to know how terribly, terribly sorry he is for all the movies he's made everyone watch. Really. But that doesn't mean he's going to stop picking them.

Larry wants to know what he did to deserve this.

Derek is unapologetic, and he hopes Jake has learned his lesson. He also regrets any collateral damage done to others who had to sit through this.

There's also news in The Lobby, Coming Soon, Larry's List, Hollywood Purgatory, One Thing (including a shout-out to another podcast you should totally check out), and another round of Get To Know Me Better!

So tune in, if for no other reason, just so you won't have to actually watch the movie itself!