November 2, 2015

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hey, guys!

Another week has passed, as we fly, screaming, toward the holiday season. Halloween was this past week, and vast piles of candy were handed out to the tens of children that are still allowed to go out and do legitimate trick-or-treating. There wasn't a whole lot of action around my area because the weather was not willing to cooperate, but there were a few indoor events that made it possible for the kids to get out there and have a little fun.

And then, almost before the final candy wrapper was thrown on the front lawn, people started putting up their Christmas decorations. Not the stores, though; those have been out for a couple of weeks already.

Anyway, there was also another Republican Debate, this time hosted by CNBC. The moderators were expected to ask questions about the candidates' policies (without looking too closely at them), and the candidates themselves were going to give standard stump answers and completely fail to say anything substantive. This is how these things have worked since debates were a thing.

This time, however, things didn't go like the candidates expected.

The moderators decided that what these debates (of which there are still something like 143 more left) really needed was actual questions that would require actual answers. This didn't go over too well with the candidates, who immediately started attacking the moderators for asking "gotcha" questions. Here are a few examples:
Mr. Trump, you’ve done very well in this campaign so far by promising to build a wall and make another country pay for it. Send 11 million people out of the country. Cut taxes $10 trillion without increasing the deficit. And make Americans better off because your greatness would replace the stupidity and incompetence of others. Let’s be honest: Is this a comic book version of a presidential campaign?
This one is for Senator Rubio. You’ve been a young man in a hurry ever since you won your first election in your 20s. You’ve had a big accomplishment in the Senate, an immigration bill providing a path to citizenship the conservatives in your party hate, and even you don’t support anymore. Now, you’re skipping more votes than any senator to run for president. Why not slow down, get a few more things done first or least finish what you start?
Governor Bush, daily fantasy sports has become a phenomenon in this country, will award billions of dollars in prize money this year. But to play you have to assess your odds, put money at risk, wait for an outcome that’s out of your control. Isn’t that the definition of gambling, and should the Federal Government treat it as such?
Senator Paul, among the leading conservative opponents to the creation of Medicare back in the 1960s was Ronald Reagan. He warned that it would lead to socialism. Considering the mounting cost of Medicare, was he right to oppose it?
Senator Cruz, working women in this country still earn just 77 percent of what men earn. And I know that you’ve said you’ve been very sympathetic to our cause. But you’ve also said that the Democrats’ moves to try and change this are the political show votes. I just wonder what you would do as President to try and help in this cause?
 So, obviously, being asked to explain what they've said and done enraged the candidates. Fortunately, only Ted Cruz lost his shit, while the others just made snarky comments.

The RNC's crack response team fires off an angry e-mail.
Almost immediately after the debate, the Republican National Committee made it clear that the CNBC moderators were a bunch of meanies who didn't kiss the candidates' butts. As a result, NBC and its affiliates would no longer be allowed to air the Republican debates.

NBC responded by saying, basically, "That's cool...We're just gonna hang over here with Telemundo and maybe watch reruns of Seinfeld."

Republican tears are delicious...
I think the real problem here isn't that the moderators were asking "gotcha" questions. It's that the candidates have been so coddled by the constant Fox News handjobs that, once they find themselves in a situation where they can't call the shots, they don't know how to respond. They're so used to being told how brilliant they are by people like Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity that they expect everyone to drop down on their knees and start snorkelling them with similar enthusiasm. And when it doesn't happen, they can't deal with it and respond poorly, rather than keeping their heads on straight.

They should have watched Hillary Clinton appearance at the Benghazi Committee
the week before.
Anyway, over on the Twitter machine, people got on with the funny and, as always, made me laugh. And really, that's what's important, isn't it; making ME laugh? Of course it is, idiot! So let's see how some of them did that, shall we?

And there you have it! So get out there and have a great week, will ya? And to start it off, here's in not one, but two videos from the Bad Lip Reading guy(s?) covering the first debates for both the Republicans and the Democrats! Enjoy!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco