February 1, 2016

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Well, gang, it's been a heck of a week.

Not nearly as many dead celebrities as the past few weeks, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy to see January go.

Get outta here, January, before I give you what for!
This week, however, did offer up a few unusual moments.

First, there was yet another Republican debate. What sets this one apart from the other 873 debates they've had so far is that Donald Trump refused to attend because Fox "News" anchor Megyn Kelly was moderating the event.

For those of you who do not recall, Trump had a hissy fit and a previous debate because Kelly had the outright nerve to ask him about insulting comments he made concerning women. Because of this, Trump suggested that Kelly was in a bad mood because she was on her period. Now he refuses to man-up and face her again. What a classy guy.

I'm gonna go do my own fundraiser and claim it's to help disabled vets!
But it won't!
In other silly-assed argument news, Kanye West took offense to a comment on Twitter by rapper Wiz Khalifa, in which Khalifa used the initials K.K., causing Kanye to think Khalifa was taking a poke at Kanye's wife, Kim Kardashian. The resulting diarrhea spray of tweets from Kanye started with demands that he be treated with respect by Khalifa because he, Kanye, is "OG". (He is so not.) It then went on to claim that he "owns" Khalifa's child because if he hadn't broken up with Amber Rose, Khalifa would never have had a chance at her. Then Kanye finished his tirade by complimenting Khalifa on his pants.

Confused yet? It get's better.

Stupid celebrity arguments make me do the Happy Dance!
Khalifa then took a moment to point out that the "K.K." he was referring to was his own strain of marijuana. That's right; not only was he not talking about Kardashian, but he owns his own personal strain of weed. What the actual fuck?

Oh, and then Amber Rose stepped up tot he plate and made a swing for the fences, tweeting that Kanye was a fan of assplay, and maybe enjoyed a finger up the cornhole while doing his naked wrestlin'. Needless to say, Kanye denies it. Personally, I don't care either way. I just wanted to point out that there is a guy who has his own strain of pot that he enjoys (that's how you know he really enjoys his weed), and that Kanye allegedly enjoys an occasional finger up his butt.

This also marks the largest story I've ever written about Kanye or Kim Kardashian, or ever will, because I despise them both.

Hooray! No more of those oxygen-wasting asshats!
There was other stuff that happened, but I ran out of entertaining .GIF animations of Christopher Walken dancing, so what do you say we go take a look at the incredibly funny tweets from people on Twitter instead?

In no particular order...

And there you have it! Now get out there and have an awesome week! And to help it along, here's one of my favorite sketches from Mr. Show with Bob and David.

All th-...Oh, wait! Found another Walken .GIF:

"Moves like Jagger"? Screw you. Move like this guy!
All the best,
Derek and Bosco