|An' I helped!|
I don't know about the rest of you, but I am getting really tired of this weather. Here in Michigan, we've discovered that Mother Nature is bipolar, and, quite frankly, kind of a cunt. As I type this, it's about 60 degrees outside. Yesterday at this time, it was 20 degrees and snowing hard, which transitioned to sleet, and then straight-up rain.
What, if I can be perfectly blunt, the hell?
Now, I'm man enough to admit that I may be partially at fault in this particular case, because when I was riding my bike to work yesterday morning, I made a point to yell at every robin I saw because I feel we've been cheated, weather-wise, this Spring, and I felt that the appearance of the robins was, at best, a lie. I may have even called several of them assholes. So yesterday's weather...Yeah, that's partially on me.
|But the rest of the week is supposed to be in the high 50s/low 60s, so|
I guess being mean to birds wasn't a total waste of my time!
Very important new poster I stuck up in town today. This is a matter of great urgency. pic.twitter.com/xUdvUDP4X4— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) January 20, 2016
Also, it was discovered that Daisy Ridley, who played Rey in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, has a hidden talent!
Oh, and I saw Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice this past week, and I have only this to say: It was exactly as good as I expected it to be. That's not a bad thing. I go into greater detail in this week's episode of Here Be Spoilers (which will be posted Wednesday).
Suffice to say, I liked it. And all those critics who hated it can get a stepladder and jump up my butt.
|And it just beat you-know-who's domestic box office...Shh. Don't ruin it for him.|
|And some of you...Well, let's just say I'm a little disappointed.|
CRIMINAL: You snitched. Know what snitches get?— John Moe (@johnmoe) April 4, 2016
C: What? No, crab cakes. Community policing is important.
M: (guitar solo)
I bet a lot of people confuse the fetal position with wanting to be spooned.— CRYSTAL KAY (@PLATINUM2000) April 3, 2016
I'm sorry, Mr. Hobo sir.
Jesus is my copilot, but the dude never took any flying lessons and he's wearing homemade sandals. I'm scared guys.— Gian D'Oh (@GianDoh) April 4, 2016
Due to the percentage of water they contain, most living things—including humans—are technically sauces.— phil mann (@philmann) March 15, 2016
That's it, no more masturbating for real this time.— Orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe) April 7, 2016
[an ad pops up showing a woman eating ribs without a napkin]
I made an appointment for laser hair removal then remembered that I don't have any laser hair.— Rick Aaron (@RickAaron) April 17, 2015
In another edition of "hey, it was in the salad bar, so it's salad," we have before us a bowl of croutons, bacon bits, and cheese.— benerdist (@benerdist) April 8, 2016
*Nicolas Cage puts on a new wig*— Jamie Tighe (@thejamietighe) June 24, 2015
"I like this one. Write a film for this wig."
My new TV's screen is 65 inches, but only if I measure from its balls.— Terry F (@daemonic3) December 2, 2013
MARRIED PEOPLE: i wish i had alone time— Jhorts (@JhonRules) January 22, 2016
SINGLE PEOPLE: i'm so lonely
ME [my face is pressed against the glass of the 7/11 hotdog rollers]
Awesome, right? And a great way to start your week. So is this video clip!