|IMMA EAT YOUR HAIR!|
Once again, it's been a week of craziness from one of the two potential presidential candidates. (And yes, I know there are two other people running as independents or Green Party or whatever, but let's be honest; there is no way in hell they are going to win.) Anybody wanna wager a guess who it was?
|No, no...A different clown.|
|Okay, not so much a "hint" as a "giant, flashing neon sign".|
Wait a minute...Did he suggest an assassination?!
The saddest thing is the collective reaction was, “Huh, I thought he’d wait until October to suggest murdering Clinton."— Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) August 9, 2016
Ooh...Whoops. But it's okay, guys, because he said he was just being sarcastic. Oh, and he was doing the same thing when he said President Obama and Hillary Clinton "created" ISIS and were the terrorist group's "Most Valuable Players".
"That guy who keeps bombing ISIS is the founder of ISIS," says orange-faced recruitment ad for ISIS.— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) August 11, 2016
Of course, he left it up to his campaign manager and spokespeople and anyone else who seems to think that they know what he actually means.
It's amazing how someone like Trump, who has the "best words", needs so many people to tell you what he actually said & what he really meant— Dan Slott (@DanSlott) August 9, 2016
Explaining what Trump meant is quickly becoming a cottage industry that could, if he wins the election, produce almost as many jobs as Obama has since he was elected.
Trump backers have a new motto. pic.twitter.com/YM5YAsH7VK— jon gabriel (@exjon) August 10, 2016
Could be good money in it.
|I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENIN', BUT I LIKE IT!!!|
To be fair to Malia Obama, the last two Dem presidents that smoked weed fixed our economy, reduced our unemployment and lowered the deficit.— MATTY ICE (@MattyIceAZ) August 10, 2016
I'll only be dissappointed in Malia Obama smoking weed if it comes out she bought it from a white guy with dreadlocks— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) August 10, 2016
It was good for a few jokes, though!
|I'M THUMB-WALKIN'! GET OUTTA MY WAY, ASSHOLES!|
In no particular order...
My autocorrect changed panic to pancakes and now I wish pancake attacks were a thing.— Dr.Ptəiradactyl✵⚛✷ (@geo_teira) August 8, 2016
Accidentally ate a quinoa muffin and now I'm a 30 yr old Crossfit instructor named Maddy— J (@Dis0beyJay) July 9, 2016
If you think that there are more than 1 servings per container then you are not in my school of culinary thought— Chris Hasara (@coketruck76) July 10, 2016
sorry but the only "summer games" i'm interested in is the cruel wager my wife and i have made to see who can first seduce our au pair— dan chamberlain (@amfmpm) August 8, 2016
In case you ladies were wondering what my "Macho Man" Randy Savage t-shirt is made out of, I'll tell you. Boyfriend material.— Peter Hoare (@PeterHoare) September 6, 2015
I heard The Misfits are getting back together for two shows in case any of you 9th graders want to know where that one t-shirt comes from.— Böb TheColonel Jänke (@Bob_Janke) August 5, 2016
Rare footage of Nic Cage's screen test for Finding Nemo. pic.twitter.com/OwRPgzf1NA— Human Echoes Podcast (@HEPodcast) August 10, 2016
In every IKEA there is a magical filing cabinet labeled raccoons, DO NOT OPEN THIS FILING CABINET!— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) January 21, 2016
My vegan anaconda don't want none unless you've got gluten-free buns, hun.— Digital Jørdøn (@BadJordon) August 9, 2016
If a girl is attracted to you their voice becomes higher pitched. Which explains why every girl i know sounds like batman— Mark (@NoticablyBacon) August 13, 2016
And there you have it!
|C'MERE, YA LITTLE SUMBITCH!|
All the best,
Derek and Bosco