August 22, 2016

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hey, you! Welcome back, won't I?

It's been another week already (where do they go?!), and it's time to have a look at the weird-ass stuff that's been going on in the real world and on the interwebs. And, because I was sent another awesome .GIF by our pal @redtache -- this one from the movie 300 -- I think you can guess where I'm going with this...

So, it's been another week of intense stupidity from the Trump campaign. The biggest surprise, though, is that the bulk of it came more from his spokesmonkeys than it did from him!

But before we get to them, let's talk about his latest attempt to "pivot"...

Trump gave two speeches this past week in an attempt to get African-American voters on his side. Unfortunately, the target audience wasn't there because both speeches took place in predominantly white areas.

Oh, and the one thing that everyone took away from these speeches was a quote that will continue to haunt him for the rest of his life (I hope): "What have you got to lose [by voting for him]?"

So much, Donald...So much.

In a New York park this past week, a mysterious structure showed up. In two other cities on the other side of the country, the same sculpture appeared. I know what you're thinking: Alien invasion, right? Monoliths, like in 2001: A Space Odyssey? Banksy deciding to try a new medium?

Sorry, no on all three.

It was actually a life-size (we assume) statue of a nude Donald Trump.

It was removed from the park after a reasonable enough time for tourists and locals to take selfies with it, and then NYC Parks issued a statement about the statue.

It's good to know that the folks there have a good sense of humor.

The general election rolls on and, a mere two-and-a-half months away from Election Day, it seems that angry Garbage Pail Kid Donald Trump is at least making some sort of effort, having fired yet another campaign manager (this one's name showed up in secret Russian ledgers for receiving millions for sketchy stuff, including possible treasonous activity against the U.S. military), and replacing him with a conspiracy nutball from Breitbart, which is a lateral move, at best. Also, he finally dropped a few bucks on some advertising, all of which is bullshit commercials containing about one lie every three seconds. (Seriously...someone checked.) So, basically, business as usual, but dumber.

Speaking of dumber, one of the speeches the Angry Orange gave this past week was one of contrition. He wanted everyone to know how horrible he felt about some of the mean, personal things he's said.

Look to later this week (or perhaps, before I've even finished typing this--oh, he said something mean about Morning Joe, didn't he? Dammit. Never mind.

And, finally, the 2016 Summer Olympics ended, but not without at least one athlete being a horrible human being and then lying about it. Of course, I speak of Ryan Lochte.

Turns out Lochte and two other U.S. athletes got drunk, trashed a gas station bathroom, got into a "scuffle" with a security guard, and then, instead of owning up to being an asshole, he claimed he was robbed. At gunpoint.

Never happened.

And now Lochte is doing the rounds on TV, telling everyone how embarrassed he is, and he's losing sponsorships left and right.

Serves his goofy ass right.

And there were tweets...So many tweets. And, as usual, I grabbed a bunch of them off of Twitter to throw in your eyeholes. Let's give 'em a look, shall we? And, as always, if you dig 'em, show these folks some Twitter love. If you're not on Twitter, get on!

Now let's go!

And there you have it! Now get out there and have an awesome week, will ya? And, just to hopefully help you along, here's a music video I threw together a few years back for my old band, Gypsy Moth, featuring 21-year-old me on guitar!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco