It's been another week already (where do they go?!), and it's time to have a look at the weird-ass stuff that's been going on in the real world and on the interwebs. And, because I was sent another awesome .GIF by our pal @redtache -- this one from the movie 300 -- I think you can guess where I'm going with this...
"Knock knock."— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) August 20, 2016
"THE POLLS. ALL OF THEM."
But before we get to them, let's talk about his latest attempt to "pivot"...
Trump gave two speeches this past week in an attempt to get African-American voters on his side. Unfortunately, the target audience wasn't there because both speeches took place in predominantly white areas.
Trump: you know what the problem with the black community is?— Bill Dixon (@BillDixonish) August 19, 2016
Black Community: institutional racism.
Trump: close - it's Mexicans.
Oh, and the one thing that everyone took away from these speeches was a quote that will continue to haunt him for the rest of his life (I hope): "What have you got to lose [by voting for him]?"
So much, Donald...So much.
Sorry, no on all three.
It was actually a life-size (we assume) statue of a nude Donald Trump.
I've never been much an arts patron but I'd be willing help fund the continued production of this important work. pic.twitter.com/v1rhYBjKcg— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) August 18, 2016
It was removed from the park after a reasonable enough time for tourists and locals to take selfies with it, and then NYC Parks issued a statement about the statue.
NYC parks department on naked Trump statue: "NYC Parks stands firmly against any unpermitted erection in city parks, no matter how small.”— Josh Dawsey (@jdawsey1) August 18, 2016
It's good to know that the folks there have a good sense of humor.
Speaking of dumber, one of the speeches the Angry Orange gave this past week was one of contrition. He wanted everyone to know how horrible he felt about some of the mean, personal things he's said.
TRUMP: I regret saying that Mexican immigrants can turn invisible like the Predator--— Dollars Horton (@crushingbort) August 19, 2016
REPORTER: a pivot..
TRUMP: --when their acidic blood w
Look to later this week (or perhaps, before I've even finished typing this--oh, he said something mean about Morning Joe, didn't he? Dammit. Never mind.
Turns out Lochte and two other U.S. athletes got drunk, trashed a gas station bathroom, got into a "scuffle" with a security guard, and then, instead of owning up to being an asshole, he claimed he was robbed. At gunpoint.
And now Lochte is doing the rounds on TV, telling everyone how embarrassed he is, and he's losing sponsorships left and right.
After seeing him speak, the thing that surprises me most about Ryan Lochte is that he hasn't drowned by forgetting not to breathe underwater— your daddy (@Kappa_Kappa) August 18, 2016
Serves his goofy ass right.
|THIS...IS...HYPNOTIC TO WATCH!!!|
Now let's go!
I only go to Krispy Kreme so I can say "hot glazed holes" without getting slapped.— C'est la vie (@Robert_Beau) August 14, 2016
I dunno Discovery Channel, if you think crabs are the deadliest thing you can catch, you've obviously never slept with my sister Ashley.— barbara the ninja (@ninjadinosaur1) July 8, 2016
My wife shaved her vagina last night & it looks sexy as fuck. In other news, I'm not allowed to chew gum in bed anymore.— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) August 16, 2016
Can we see your taxes Trump?— Peacock, Allen The (@allenpeacock) August 19, 2016
"Release HRC's speeches!"
Can we see taxes?
"Release her medical records!"
"Release the Kraken!"
believe in yourself pic.twitter.com/jIJy4nxFFs— Jermaine Warren (@iamjermainew) August 18, 2016
We all have that one friend who is a potato that we drew a face on and it whispers secrets to us at night time— mindflakes (@_mindflakes) July 14, 2016
I've discovered a magical land through the back of my wardrobe.— Neil (@_Enanem_) August 19, 2016
It's inhabitants are similar to my neighbours, albeit a lot more hostile.
I want to open a two dollar store for people that enjoy the finer things.— Jeff (@usermcuserface) July 14, 2016
Steven Seagal is the Marlon Brando of martial arts.— benerdist (@benerdist) August 20, 2016
BODY STATUS: HAIRY MAYONAISE— Jonah Ray Rodrigues (@jonahray) August 20, 2016
And there you have it! Now get out there and have an awesome week, will ya? And, just to hopefully help you along, here's a music video I threw together a few years back for my old band, Gypsy Moth, featuring 21-year-old me on guitar!
All the best,
Derek and Bosco