November 9, 2016


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This week, they guys sat down to watch the 1962 Arch Hall Sr. film, Eegah! starring Richard Kiel, Arch Hall Jr., Marilyn Manning, and Arch Hall Sr. (credited as William Watters).

It's the story of Roxy (Manning), a party girl who knows what a good time is, unless you include her pinch-faced boyfriend, Tommy (Hall Jr.).

Don't you just want to punch him? Of course you do.
Included on that list of fun is running over a giant caveman sort of guy (Kiel), and then being groped by him.

Roxy's father, Robert I. Miller (Hall Sr.), is an author and adventurer--at least, he seems to think he is--and he sets off into the desert to find the giant that his daughter nearly killed with her car. Why? Who knows. He claims it's to write a book about him, but the guys have their own theories about all of that.

Tommy wants to help, so he volunteers to fire up his shitheap of a dune buggy and take Miller out there, but Miller refuses, choosing instead to take a helicopter. He is almost immediately captured and severely beaten by Eegah, and really kinda deserves it.

Screw you, and screw your damn dune buggy, kid.
When the helicopter can't go back out to pick up Miller the next day, Tommy finally gets to bring out the dune buggy, loads Roxy into it, and they head out in search of Roxy's dad. (After a solid twenty minutes of driving around in circles in the sand while Roxy shouts, "WHEEEEEEE!")

They sort of find him...or, more accurately, Tommy wanders into the desert and gets lost, and Eegah finds Roxy, dragging her back to his cave, where he tries to make so much gross sex on her. Even the fact that Roxy's dad is there isn't enough to make Eegah reel it in, so Roxy finds every distraction she can to keep from giving up her good stuff.

Eegah so embarrassed...This never happen before...
As Roxy and her dad try to escape from Eegah, Tommy falls asleep in a shrubbery somewhere, and then wanders around whining "ROOOOOXXXXXXXYYYYYYY!" to the odd lizard that he runs across.

When Miller and Roxy make a run for it, idiot Tommy happens to be in the general area and, after being shot fails to slow Eegah down, throws a rock at the giant, which takes him out rather neatly. The three intrepid lunkheads pile into Tommy's rolling garbage pile and, after another twenty minutes of driving in circles and getting stuck in the sand, head back home.

Except you, Tommy. Go find one and kiss it.
Later that evening(?), there is another party--there's, like, four or five in this movie--and Tommy's shitty band is playing. Roxy wants to dance, so she drags Tommy onto the designated dance floor, and then another guy tries to dance with Roxy, which causes Tommy to engage in a slap-fight. Then Eegah shows up and starts tossing people around like ragdolls. It's really pretty funny.

There's also cops and horrible ADR happening all over the place, and one is left with the feeling that this movie might not have been handled that professionally.

Derek is not happy with this movie. At all. He's watched it a lot of times, but he never paid that much attention to it. This time, he did. And he was really angry about it. Especially since it should have ended, like, half an hour before it actually did. Fuck this movie. He does get to do impersonations of some of the Beatles, though...So there's that.

Larry also didn't like it, but he was at least able to make it through the show without becoming so tongue-tied with rage that he couldn't speak, like Derek did. Larry also had a toothache, which probably didn't help matters, but what'reyagonnado?

Jake is glad they watched the MST3K version, but he still didn't like it. He did, however, present an awesome new backstory for many of the questions raised, such as: Where is Roxy's mom? Why is Miller so insistent on going out to find Eegah himself? And what the hell is wrong with Asrch Hall, Jr.'s face?